100 Questions With MadamMeow

750 rep points to any of you with the balls to fill this out entirely, too. Fair warning, it took me over 2 hours to complete.

Special thanks to Magnusrex for providing me with the questions.





1. What tends to feel better for you, sex or masturbation? It used to be masturbation when I was younger, now it's sex.

2. Your 5 favorite spots to be stimulated. Clit, neck, upper thighs, tits, my hip bones.

3. Have you ever had your prostate stimulated? Would have to have one for that to be possible me thinks.

4. Have you ever had an orgasm from anywhere other than your genitals? Yes, my nose often has excretions very similar to male jizz.

5. Do you prefer clitoral or vaginal stimulation? Depends on the day and the partner.

6. Can you touch your clitoris directly, or does that hurt? It hurts some people?

7. Are you well-acquainted with your G-spot? Yes.

8. Are handjobs boring, or underrated? Underrated, but us chicks need to know how to give them right.

9. Do you like having your balls touched? No. Stay the fuck away from my crystal balls. You will fuck up my perception abilities.

10. Do you like having your nipples touched? Yes, but you need to know when to go light and when going light is just annoying.

11. Do you like having your anus touched? Yes.

12. Have you ever been fisted (anally or vaginally)? No.

13. Do you like mild roughness (scratching, spanking, hair-pulling, etc.)? Definitely.

14. Do you have any kinks? I want to fuck large jewish noses like Alektra Blue's & Ashley Tisdale's.

15. Are you into anything under the BDSM umbrella? I'm not sure I should consult Wooddragon if some of the things I think might actually do or not.

16. Do you pee in the shower? I have but not often.

17. Do you ever masturbate in the shower? I have but not often.

18. Have you had sex in the shower? Yes.

19. Do you like being naked? Depends on the day.

20. Do you sleep partially/fully naked? Fully.

21. Have you ever skinny dipped? No, unless nude hottubbing counts, but I used to want to.

22. What's the most unusual thing you've done nude? Stand outside in the snow on New Years day just because.

23. Have you ever to a nude beach, naked party, or other situation involving casual nudity? Nope, but I used to fuck a guy and not stop when his friends would come in the room and watch.

24. Are you comfortable being seen partially/fully naked by family or friends (i.e. getting dressed, etc.)? Yes.

25. Are you comfortable with partners seeing you nude in non-sexual contexts? Yes.

26. Have you ever showered with someone (non-sexually)? No I did it sexually.

27. Do you care if a partner sees you going to the bathroom? Nope.

28. Do you have naked pictures/videos of yourself? If yes, have you sent them to anyone? Are they online? Yes how else are you supposed to get a boyfriend and who isn't online nowadays.

29. How many sexual partners have you had? I actually do have a list on my One Note. It's well under a hundred sadly a lot more than ten, but 1/3 of the total happened in one shot.

30. How often do you masturbate? Used to be daily to go to sleep this year it's been more like twice a week.

31. Age you started masturbating? How did you discover/learn about it? 12/13 when I started. I had an older brother I've seen his stolen porn mags so the learning was much earlier. Lol.

32. What position do you typically masturbate in (laying on back, on stomach, sitting up, etc.)? On my back, I like my legs in the air.

33. Describe your masturbation routine, technique, etc. Magic wand on level 6 (out of 8). It also has 8 rhythms, but steady gets me their quickest.

34. What do you masturbate to (porn, smut, imagination, etc.)? Imagination/nothing. I'm a girl I don't need it to accomplish my goals.

35. Have you ever masturbated to the point you got sore? Not sore per se, but there were times when I was a pocket rocket girl, it would get to the point where I couldn't feel it. Had to take a break for a week.

36. Your thoughts the first time you got up close and personal with the opposite set of genitals? I was just doing it to get it out of the way so I would get all that nervousness over with for when I was with someone better. My first time was with the neighbor boy under a blanket in my room with at least 7 other people in the room watching TV or playing Sega. This included my ex-best friend's younger brother & his friend (still in elementary school). I was just praying that no one pulled the blanket off. The kids just thought we were making out.

37. Have you ever "compared" (genitals, breasts, whatever) with a friend? Sadly no.

38. What kind of underwear do you normally wear? Commando, I like to be free.

39. Do you ever go commando? Lol, see above.

40. Have you ever had a wet dream/orgasmed in your sleep? I've had sex dreams but never woke up in a puddle.

41. How big is your penis? My magic wand is 2-3 inches in diameter and at least 10 inches long, but the tip part is only 4 inches long. My attachments vary. My boyfriend is bigger than my attachments and I would say bigger than average.

42. Does your penis curve at all? No, but they are made out of material where I can bend them around if I wanted to.

43. Which testicle hangs lower? My right tit.

44. How big are your breasts? 36B

45. Do you long or short labia? Are they even or uneven? Medium I guess. Even I guess.

46. Do you have a particularly large or tiny clitoris? I don't think so. Luckily not too tiny.

47. Are you circumcised or no? Are you happy with it? No, but I prefer partner's that are. I like the way it looks. I've only unpeeled one. It's not that bad either.

48. Are you turned on or off by foreskin, or don't care? I think I answered that above. I'm indifferent.

49. What are you more into (or like more about yourself), boobs or butts? I like boos more, but I get more compliments on my ass.

50. Do you find genitals physically attractive, or weird/gross, or not feel strongly either way? Love them for both sexes.

51. Do you like the way your genitals look? I used to not like it because it doesn't matter how much I do it, I have to stop once there's blood, but I could never get my kitty completely hair free. Unfortunately that's what 99% of the population wants so I used to beat myself up over it, but it doesn't bother me now.

52. Would you be able to pick out your genitals from a lineup? I think so cause of my little top hat like thing in the middle hair "problem".

53. Do you like your butt? I guess so.

54. What do you do with your pubic hair (shave, trim, wax, nothing, etc.)? Shave what I can.

55. Do you care/have a preference what partners do with their pubic hair? Shaved is always nice, but not a deal breaker for sucking.

56. Do you tuck your penis a certain way (i.e. left or right) when you get dressed? My "penis" is normally tucked in the drawer while I'm dressing if that's what you mean.

57. Do you have or want any genital piercings? Do you like any on other people? No, no & not really but the only experience I had with them involved a guy with a bent dick, and bent the opposite direction of what would be pleasureful so I guess I'll never know. Lol.

58. What is the quickest you've ever brought yourself (or been brought) to orgasm? Literally in under a minute. I'm able to build myself up anticipating it before I even arrive.

59. Do you ever "edge" (repeatedly stop and start) when masturbating? Sometimes.

60. What's the longest masturbation session you've had? Longest sex session? I've never timed myself, honestly don't know. For my session I would have to say 3 plays of the entire Toxicity by System of a Down CD and then a Ramstein one cause he couldn't take System anymore and I needed something to drown me out cause my stepdad was home.

61. What's the most orgasms you've had in one session (of anything)? Easily over a hundred. I would try to count, but get lost in it and couldn't.

62. Do your orgasms tend to be full-body, or crotch-centric? More crotch-centric, but the best were full-body.

63. Spit or swallow? Prefer swallowing, but will do both. With head I try to make it all about the guy and some like spitters. Oh, and I hate guys that won't kiss after I get it. I'll kiss you after mine, grow up it doesn't make you gay.

64. When you ejaculate, do you more shoot or dribble? My good ones shoot like a geyser.

65. Is it hot or gross to get ejaculated on? HOT.

66. Do you "squirt?" Yeppers. It's real and it's spectacular.

67. Have you ever attempted (or succeeded) to give yourself oral? Attempted yes, succeeded no. I had to give up gymnastics too early in life, had that not happened, I probably could have.

68. Have you ever given/received a footjob, boobjob, etc.? I've given but I have no desire to find out if athlete's vagina is possible. I've titty fucked which was quite difficult when I was younger. It's not anymore as they got bigger even though I'm the same bra cup size. It also takes a lot of spit, but I like doing it.

69. Have you ever had sex in a public place? I've had other people around me, but I don't think so public. A backyard in a hottub that was right next to a store & parking lot and I gave head to an Abercrombie model in a Dunkin Donuts bathroom. I think that's public. Thankful he came in the ladies room.

70. Have you ever had sex in a bed/on a couch that didn't belong to either of you? Oh yeah and I drowned the fucking thing. One of my ex-friends sat on it the day after then started a war against me in disgust.

71. Have you ever had sex/masturbated while somebody was sleeping near you? Yes but it started before they were asleep.

72. How many rooms of your house/apartment/etc. have you had sex in? 3 for sex, 6 for masturbation. My house has 7 rooms. I have no desire to do it in my stepdad's old room, although if I think about it, I might have taken my mom's plug in massager in middle school and tried it cause it was before I had a boyfriend who could go buy me one. My memory sucks though.

73. Strangest/most unique place you've had sex? How about masturbated? Most unique/disgusting was the Dunkin Donuts bathroom. The kid was at the diner next store and I drove down with the soul intention of doing that. And no, I didn't buy a donut.

74. Have you had any sexual experiences that were downright gross? Yes. Not gross in the shit and vomit type of way, but a few people sickened me and I couldn't get out of it.

75. Are you particularly "vocal" when masturbating/having sex? Masturbating not really, sex definitely.

76. Have you ever been caught masturbating/having sex? Masturbating no, sex yes.

77. Have you had or do you want to have a threesome (or foursome, or more)? I've done both MFF and MMF threesomes. I've preferred MFF of course, but have always wanted an orgy. I've only had a group train one after another but they weren't in the room at the same time so I don't count that.

78. Do you own any sex toys? Yes.

79. Have you ever used a homemade sex toy, or a regular object as a sex toy? I tried a lighter in middle school, but I didn't like it.

80. Can a dildo feel as good as a penis (assuming the person with the penis is good at what they do)? No, even the really expensive ones and the ones with the fake veins just aren't the same.

81. What are your favorite positions? Selfishly on my back with my legs as close to my ears as they can go. Back in the day that used to be impossible cause it would go to deep and hurt, but I love it now.

82. Your most embarrassing sexual experience? I don't know, maybe whenever the hot guy I really wanted would bring an ugly friend?

83. Worst place/time you've ever gotten a boner? Yeah I don't get those, but I think I've given a few to people at awkward times. Lol.

84. Have you ever had any genital injuries? Yeah, but nothing to go to the doctor about. I was with a guy so big I couldn't really handle it and I bled. It didn't hurt though the blood made it feel better. Didn't get stitches either, I was fine after a day.

85. Have you ever had a sexually transmitted infection? No, but I went home with an Irish soccer player I met at a bar years ago. He didn't fuck me I only blew him and when I was done he was like, you know why I didn't fuck you right? I have Chlamydia. Ran to the doctor the next day, had them give me every test possible and was clean. You don't get it from oral.

86. Have you ever had a non-sexually transmitted genital infection (yeast infection, etc)? Nope

87. If you lack a penis, have you ever tried to pee standing up? Yes, but I always squatted and always will in a public restroom.

88. If you lack a penis, how familiar are you with how you look down there? I think this question was asked already, I believe I could pick myself out of a line up.

89. Do you think you're "good" at sex, or your performance/skill could use improvement? I think I'm good, I've been told I'm good, but everybody could always use improvement. Even the pros, that's just nature.

90. Have you "sexted" (whether through text messaging or IM chat)? Yes, who hasn't? And no, not with Anthony Weiner. Lol.

91. Have you masturbated for or with someone via webcam? Literally only once. The lag on webcams are too annoying to be pleasureful.

92. Have you have phone sex? A couple of times, but I think I sounded silly.

93. If you had the opposite set of genitals for a day, name 5 things you would do. Pee outside everywhere, jack off, fuck a bitch, play with my balls, take a million pics.

94. What's something you like about your body? It's mine.

95. What's something you dislike about your body? Hair. It takes forever to shave everything in the shower.

96. What body parts do you find the sexiest? Curves generally. A nice rack is always nice. And guys that have really adorable penis heads. Flexing muscles don't hurt either.

97. What was your most recent sexual thought? Thanks to question 93, jacking off my massive cock.

98. Do you ever just play with your boobs, penis, labia, etc.? Yeah sometimes I do it without noticing.

99. When was the last time you touched your genitals? When I went to the bathroom a couple hours before starting this quiz.

100. Do you often imagine people naked? Extremely often, I picture everyone naked even if I don't want to see it.

1. What tends to feel better for you, sex or masturbation?
2. Your 5 favorite spots to be stimulated.
3. Have you ever had your prostate stimulated?
4. Have you ever had an orgasm from anywhere other than your genitals?
5. Do you prefer clitoral or vaginal stimulation?
6. Can you touch your clitoris directly, or does that hurt?
7. Are you well-acquainted with your G-spot?
8. Are handjobs boring, or underrated?
9. Do you like having your balls touched?
10. Do you like having your nipples touched?
11. Do you like having your anus touched?
12. Have you ever been fisted (anally or vaginally)?
13. Do you like mild roughness (scratching, spanking, hair-pulling, etc.)?
14. Do you have any kinks?
15. Are you into anything under the BDSM umbrella?
16. Do you pee in the shower?
17. Do you ever masturbate in the shower?
18. Have you had sex in the shower?
19. Do you like being naked?
20. Do you sleep partially/fully naked?
21. Have you ever skinny dipped?
22. What's the most unusual thing you've done nude?
23. Have you ever to a nude beach, naked party, or other situation involving casual nudity?
24. Are you comfortable being seen partially/fully naked by family or friends (i.e. getting dressed, etc.)?
25. Are you comfortable with partners seeing you nude in non-sexual contexts?
26. Have you ever showered with someone (non-sexually)?
27. Do you care if a partner sees you going to the bathroom?
28. Do you have naked pictures/videos of yourself? If yes, have you sent them to anyone? Are they online?
29. How many sexual partners have you had?
30. How often do you masturbate?
31. Age you started masturbating? How did you discover/learn about it?
32. What position do you typically masturbate in (laying on back, on stomach, sitting up, etc.)?
33. Describe your masturbation routine, technique, etc.
34. What do you masturbate to (porn, smut, imagination, etc.)?
35. Have you ever masturbated to the point you got sore?
36. Your thoughts the first time you got up close and personal with the opposite set of genitals?
37. Have you ever "compared" (genitals, breasts, whatever) with a friend?
38. What kind of underwear do you normally wear?
39. Do you ever go commando?
40. Have you ever had a wet dream/orgasmed in your sleep?
41. How big is your penis?
42. Does your penis curve at all?
43. Which testicle hangs lower?
44. How big are your breasts?
45. Do you long or short labia? Are they even or uneven?
46. Do you have a particularly large or tiny clitoris?
47. Are you circumcised or no? Are you happy with it?
48. Are you turned on or off by foreskin, or don't care?
49. What are you more into (or like more about yourself), boobs or butts?
50. Do you find genitals physically attractive, or weird/gross, or not feel strongly either way?
51. Do you like the way your genitals look?
52. Would you be able to pick out your genitals from a lineup?
53. Do you like your butt?
54. What do you do with your pubic hair (shave, trim, wax, nothing, etc.)?
55. Do you care/have a preference what partners do with their pubic hair?
56. Do you tuck your penis a certain way (i.e. left or right) when you get dressed?
57. Do you have or want any genital piercings? Do you like any on other people?
58. What is the quickest you've ever brought yourself (or been brought) to orgasm?
59. Do you ever "edge" (repeatedly stop and start) when masturbating?
60. What's the longest masturbation session you've had? Longest sex session?
61. What's the most orgasms you've had in one session (of anything)?
62. Do your orgasms tend to be full-body, or crotch-centric?
63. Spit or swallow?
64. When you ejaculate, do you more shoot or dribble?
65. Is it hot or gross to get ejaculated on?
66. Do you "squirt?"
67. Have you ever attempted (or succeeded) to give yourself oral?
68. Have you ever given/received a footjob, boobjob, etc.?
69. Have you ever had sex in a public place?
70. Have you ever had sex in a bed/on a couch that didn't belong to either of you?
71. Have you ever had sex/masturbated while somebody was sleeping near you?
72. How many rooms of your house/apartment/etc. have you had sex in?
73. Strangest/most unique place you've had sex? How about masturbated?
74. Have you had any sexual experiences that were downright gross?
75. Are you particularly "vocal" when masturbating/having sex?
76. Have you ever been caught masturbating/having sex?
77. Have you had or do you want to have a threesome (or foursome, or more)?
78. Do you own any sex toys?
79. Have you ever used a homemade sex toy, or a regular object as a sex toy?
80. Can a dildo feel as good as a penis (assuming the person with the penis is good at what they do)?
81. What are your favorite positions?
82. Your most embarrassing sexual experience?
83. Worst place/time you've ever gotten a boner?
84. Have you ever had any genital injuries?
85. Have you ever had a sexually transmitted infection?
86. Have you ever had a non-sexually transmitted genital infection (yeast infection, etc)?
87. If you lack a penis, have you ever tried to pee standing up?
88. If you lack a penis, how familiar are you with how you look down there?
89. Do you think you're "good" at sex, or your performance/skill could use improvement?
90. Have you "sexted" (whether through text messaging or IM chat)?
91. Have you masturbated for or with someone via webcam?
92. Have you have phone sex?
93. If you had the opposite set of genitals for a day, name 5 things you would do.
94. What's something you like about your body?
95. What's something you dislike about your body?
96. What body parts do you find the sexiest?
97. What was your most recent sexual thought?
98. Do you ever just play with your boobs, penis, labia, etc.?
99. When was the last time you touched your genitals?
100. Do you often imagine people naked?

[Magnusrex]

1. What tends to feel better for you, sex or masturbation? i'm married so...masturbation, unless it is with someone other than my wife then definitely sex
2. Your 5 favorite spots to be stimulated. 5?!?! i can only think of one. my penis.
3. Have you ever had your prostate stimulated? no.
4. Have you ever had an orgasm from anywhere other than your genitals? can a man do that?
5. Do you prefer clitoral or vaginal stimulation? i prefer to lick them both.
6. Can you touch your clitoris directly, or does that hurt? N/A
7. Are you well-acquainted with your G-spot? do i have one?
8. Are handjobs boring, or underrated? neither, good foreplay.
9. Do you like having your balls touched? yep
10. Do you like having your nipples touched? it's okay
11. Do you like having your anus touched? yeah by toilet paper.
12. Have you ever been fisted (anally or vaginally)? no way Jose!
13. Do you like mild roughness (scratching, spanking, hair-pulling, etc.)? not really
14. Do you have any kinks? shoulders, knees, lower back kinks up a lot.
15. Are you into anything under the BDSM umbrella? nope!
16. Do you pee in the shower? yep!
17. Do you ever masturbate in the shower? nope!
18. Have you had sex in the shower? yep!
19. Do you like being naked? yep!
20. Do you sleep partially/fully naked? usually.
21. Have you ever skinny dipped? yep.
22. What's the most unusual thing you've done nude? cook bacon.
23. Have you ever to a nude beach, naked party, or other situation involving casual nudity? yep. skinny dipping pool party. i hosted and DJ'ed it.
24. Are you comfortable being seen partially/fully naked by family or friends (i.e. getting dressed, etc.)? not anymore.
25. Are you comfortable with partners seeing you nude in non-sexual contexts? not anymmore.
26. Have you ever showered with someone (non-sexually)? nope.
27. Do you care if a partner sees you going to the bathroom? nope.
28. Do you have naked pictures/videos of yourself? If yes, have you sent them to anyone? Are they online? yes/yes.
29. How many sexual partners have you had? more than several,less than a boat load.
30. How often do you masturbate? daily, sometimes nightly too.
31. Age you started masturbating? How did you discover/learn about it? 13, found a porn tape.
32. What position do you typically masturbate in (laying on back, on stomach, sitting up, etc.)?yes.
33. Describe your masturbation routine, technique, etc. hand grabs dick, goes up and down, make a mess.
34. What do you masturbate to (porn, smut, imagination, etc.)? yep yup yes and sure why not.
35. Have you ever masturbated to the point you got sore? well duh!
36. Your thoughts the first time you got up close and personal with the opposite set of genitals? FUCK YEAH!
37. Have you ever "compared" (genitals, breasts, whatever) with a friend?
38. What kind of underwear do you normally wear? religious! they are holy/wholie/holie.....they have holes okay.
39. Do you ever go commando? yep!
40. Have you ever had a wet dream/orgasmed in your sleep? fuck no i always wake up before i score.
41. How big is your penis? big enough to get my pregnant twice. BAD PENIS BAD BAD.
42. Does your penis curve at all? nope, i took care to not have that happen.
43. Which testicle hangs lower? yes!
44. How big are your breasts? b-cup i'd guess, you know we men get moobs in our older age.
45. Do you long or short labia? Are they even or uneven? N/A
46. Do you have a particularly large or tiny clitoris? my wife's is tiny.
47. Are you circumcised or no? Are you happy with it? yes/no
48. Are you turned on or off by foreskin, or don't care? i think their sexy and mysterious.
49. What are you more into (or like more about yourself), boobs or butts? yes.
50. Do you find genitals physically attractive, or weird/gross, or not feel strongly either way? yes!
51. Do you like the way your genitals look? do know have seen them in a while.
52. Would you be able to pick out your genitals from a lineup? refer to previous answer
53. Do you like your butt? well it's been good to me so far.
54. What do you do with your pubic hair (shave, trim, wax, nothing, etc.)? nothing.
55. Do you care/have a preference what partners do with their pubic hair? i'd like to see it neat, but no, it's their pubes their decision
56. Do you tuck your penis a certain way (i.e. left or right) when you get dressed? just let it hang.
57. Do you have or want any genital piercings? Do you like any on other people? no/no
58. What is the quickest you've ever brought yourself (or been brought) to orgasm?
59. Do you ever "edge" (repeatedly stop and start) when masturbating? if you mean being interrupted and starting over then YES!
60. What's the longest masturbation session you've had? Longest sex session? hmm kids go to school at 7:30am i pick them up at 2:00 so 8-2 is 6 HOURS! shit i'm awesome.
61. What's the most orgasms you've had in one session (of anything)? now that i don't count.
62. Do your orgasms tend to be full-body, or crotch-centric? crotch
63. Spit or swallow? spit, i ain't swallowing pussy pube
64. When you ejaculate, do you more shoot or dribble? shoot!
65. Is it hot or gross to get ejaculated on? N/A
66. Do you "squirt?" N/A
67. Have you ever attempted (or succeeded) to give yourself oral? attempted, thought i broke my damn neck.
68. Have you ever given/received a footjob, boobjob, etc.? yes!
69. Have you ever had sex in a public place? yes again!
70. Have you ever had sex in a bed/on a couch that didn't belong to either of you? hat trick!
71. Have you ever had sex/masturbated while somebody was sleeping near you? 4 for 4 hot damn on a roll
72. How many rooms of your house/apartment/etc. have you had sex in? 4
73. Strangest/most unique place you've had sex? How about masturbated? on stage, after the play was over.
74. Have you had any sexual experiences that were downright gross? yep, but sucked good dick so i count it as a win
75. Are you particularly "vocal" when masturbating/having sex? no
76. Have you ever been caught masturbating/having sex? yep both
77. Have you had or do you want to have a threesome (or foursome, or more)? had and don't really want to anymore. i'm older now and it just gets to be a hassle.
78. Do you own any sex toys? yes
79. Have you ever used a homemade sex toy, or a regular object as a sex toy? two giant spongesstuffed into a tall plastic cup and some lube and you have a damn good fleshlight knock off.
80. Can a dildo feel as good as a penis (assuming the person with the penis is good at what they do)? N/A
81. What are your favorite positions? her on top, i'm lazy.
82. Your most embarrassing sexual experience? erectile dysfunction, that is a stone cold bitch man.
83. Worst place/time you've ever gotten a boner? in line to view the deceased at a funeral. fuck slut next to my had huge tits and wearing a scoop neck top. fuck whore it's a funeral. but then again this was the chick the dude in the coffin was having sex with when he died so. WOOHOO!
84. Have you ever had any genital injuries? yep.
85. Have you ever had a sexually transmitted infection? nope!
86. Have you ever had a non-sexually transmitted genital infection (yeast infection, etc)? nope
87. If you lack a penis, have you ever tried to pee standing up? N/A
88. If you lack a penis, how familiar are you with how you look down there? N/A
89. Do you think you're "good" at sex, or your performance/skill could use improvement? i'm good, i'm always satisfied afterwards.
90. Have you "sexted" (whether through text messaging or IM chat)? yep yep yep!
91. Have you masturbated for or with someone via webcam? yep!
92. Have you have phone sex? yep!
93. If you had the opposite set of genitals for a day, name 5 things you would do. mmasturbate, masturbate,
masturbate, masturbate, masturbate,
94. What's something you like about your body? my hair
95. What's something you dislike about your body?everything below my hair
96. What body parts do you find the sexiest? My hair
97. What was your most recent sexual thought? masturbate
98. Do you ever just play with your boobs, penis, labia, etc.? yep
99. When was the last time you touched your genitals? now
100. Do you often imagine people naked? 24/7 7/52 365

Lol, thanks for being a good sport & playing back, Magnus. I had fun.

[el_victorino]

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'Splain, please.

[gimmebeer]

"No" to all

[tuv2130]

1. What tends to feel better for you, sex or masturbation? I'm married, so masturbation tends to be the only option

2. Your 5 favorite spots to be stimulated. On my dick, in bed, on the couch, in the car, anywhere near or far

3. Have you ever had your prostate stimulated? Nope

4. Have you ever had an orgasm from anywhere other than your genitals? I think that would be cause for concern.

5. Do you prefer clitoral or vaginal stimulation? I'm a fan of both

6. Can you touch your clitoris directly, or does that hurt? My wife tends to hurt me if I go straight for the clit

7. Are you well-acquainted with your G-spot? No, but it's still on my Christmas card list

8. Are handjobs boring, or underrated? They're not my first choice, but who am I to complain if she's willing to do it for me?

9. Do you like having your balls touched? The wife thinks balls are gross, so on the rare occasions she spontaneously touches them it tends to be more surprising then pleasurable.

10. Do you like having your nipples touched? No

11. Do you like having your anus touched? Nope

12. Have you ever been fisted (anally or vaginally)? I make a fist when spanking the monkey, does that count?

13. Do you like mild roughness (scratching, spanking, hair-pulling, etc.)? It's ok

14. Do you have any kinks? Nope

15. Are you into anything under the BDSM umbrella? I'd be game for cuffs, but you can keep the clamps and paddles

16. Do you pee in the shower? Nope, I always go before the shower so I don't have to worry about that

17. Do you ever masturbate in the shower? Occasionally, but it leaves my dick feeling abused

18. Have you had sex in the shower? Back before we had kids it used to be pretty common

19. Do you like being naked? Yup

20. Do you sleep partially/fully naked? fully

21. Have you ever skinny dipped? I've been with a group that went skinny dipping after a party, but I can't swim so I stayed ashore and enjoyed the scenery

22. What's the most unusual thing you've done nude? I think I might have baked a cake once while I was naked.

23. Have you ever to a nude beach, naked party, or other situation involving casual nudity? Not unless you count the skinny dipping question

24. Are you comfortable being seen partially/fully naked by family or friends (i.e. getting dressed, etc.)? I walk around in the tattoo shop in my boxer briefs on a pretty regular basis

25. Are you comfortable with partners seeing you nude in non-sexual contexts? Doesn't phase me a bit

26. Have you ever showered with someone (non-sexually)? Yup, the wife and I normally shower together after sex

27. Do you care if a partner sees you going to the bathroom? I'm a believer that not all moments of life need to be shared with my partner


28. Do you have naked pictures/videos of yourself? If yes, have you sent them to anyone? Are they online? When I was younger I had an avatar of my ass I would use to moon people in chat.

29. How many sexual partners have you had? 2.5

30. How often do you masturbate? At least once a day

31. Age you started masturbating? How did you discover/learn about it? 16 or 17. I was a late bloomer

32. What position do you typically masturbate in (laying on back, on stomach, sitting up, etc.)? laying down

33. Describe your masturbation routine, technique, etc. Spend 45 minutes searching for just the right porn, then blow my nut a minute into it

34. What do you masturbate to (porn, smut, imagination, etc.)? What's the difference between porn and smut? I'd say I typically use a mix of porn of imagination.

35. Have you ever masturbated to the point you got sore? Haven't we all?


36. Your thoughts the first time you got up close and personal with the opposite set of genitals? Awesome. Can't believe this is happening.

37. Have you ever "compared" (genitals, breasts, whatever) with a friend? Nope.

38. What kind of underwear do you normally wear? None, unless I'm getting inked that day.

39. Do you ever go commando? 99% of the time.

40. Have you ever had a wet dream/orgasmed in your sleep? Nope, I too wake up before the big score.

41. How big is your penis? Nothing to brag about, but it gets the job done.

42. Does your penis curve at all? Nope, but there's been times when I thought my wife would break it trying

43. Which testicle hangs lower? Right I believe.

44. How big are your breasts? I'd say my moobs are probably a solid A

45. Do you long or short labia? Are they even or uneven? My balls are long and uneven

46. Do you have a particularly large or tiny clitoris? Can't find mine, but I'd say the wife's is on the small side.

47. Are you circumcised or no? Are you happy with it? Nope. Yup. Makes it easier to jack off/get handjobs.

48. Are you turned on or off by foreskin, or don't care? Can't say I've ever looked at it and thought it was hot

49. What are you more into (or like more about yourself), boobs or butts? I'm an ass-man.

50. Do you find genitals physically attractive, or weird/gross, or not feel strongly either way? Usually the female set is attractive, but spend enough time on the internet and you'll see your share of horror stories

51. Do you like the way your genitals look? Nope. I'd prefer a resemblance to the Keaton Batman but they look more like a DeVito Penguin.

52. Would you be able to pick out your genitals from a lineup? I really doubt it. There's no tattoos or moles or anything, so they look pretty much like every other dick/balls combo.

53. Do you like your butt? Sure, it's what attracted the wife to me.

54. What do you do with your pubic hair (shave, trim, wax, nothing, etc.)? Shave or nair it, not a pube fan.

55. Do you care/have a preference what partners do with their pubic hair? Smooth is better for going down but I can live with other options so long as it's not 70's bush

56. Do you tuck your penis a certain way (i.e. left or right) when you get dressed? Nope but he always strays to the left

57. Do you have or want any genital piercings? Do you like any on other people? I used to have my frenum pierced but had to remove it after having seizures at work. They told me I had to remove all piercings before they could run tests, and by the time things were done I would have had to force it back through. Been trying to talk the wife into getting her clit or lips pierced for years but no luck so far.

58. What is the quickest you've ever brought yourself (or been brought) to orgasm? Never timed it

59. Do you ever "edge" (repeatedly stop and start) when masturbating? Not so much as a goal but in the process of finding better porn sure

60. What's the longest masturbation session you've had? Longest sex session? I picked a day when I was a teen and dedicated pretty much the whole day to seeing how many times I could jack off, I'd say it lasted most of the day before it got painful. Longest sex session was probably about 8 hours. I was 23 and losing my virginity and I was so worked up the hard-on wouldn't go away so we just kept going until we both couldn't take anymore.

61. What's the most orgasms you've had in one session (of anything)? Never counted

62. Do your orgasms tend to be full-body, or crotch-centric? Crotch-centric

63. Spit or swallow? How do you go down on a girl and spit?
~lick lick ptuu!~ As far as receiving goes, I've had like two bj's from the wife and she won't allow finishing in her mouth, so neither is an option

64. When you ejaculate, do you more shoot or dribble? Shoot

65. Is it hot or gross to get ejaculated on? I automatically associate the word ejaculate with guys, so I'm going to go with gross.

66. Do you "squirt?" Nope

67. Have you ever attempted (or succeeded) to give yourself oral? Nope, that seems like a hospital visit waiting to happen

68. Have you ever given/received a footjob, boobjob, etc.? Nope

69. Have you ever had sex in a public place? Nope, but I'd be willing

70. Have you ever had sex in a bed/on a couch that didn't belong to either of you? Not unless hotels count

71. Have you ever had sex/masturbated while somebody was sleeping near you? Yup, wife's a sound sleeper.

72. How many rooms of your house/apartment/etc. have you had sex in? We've had sex in all but one room in the house

73. Strangest/most unique place you've had sex? How about masturbated? On the way to work

74. Have you had any sexual experiences that were downright gross? I was worried about performance with the second girl I slept with so I stole one of my dad's Viagra and combined it with one of those numbing condoms. The sex was terrible, I couldn't feel a thing, and when I went into the bathroom to take the condom off, it was clear full of blood. Never tried that again.

75. Are you particularly "vocal" when masturbating/having sex? Nope, I've spent too many years watching porn with the sound off, so I stay muted during the real thing

76. Have you ever been caught masturbating/having sex? Both. Thanks to the kids the wife and I have perfected the art of "Nothing to see here" at the sound of the door starting to open.

77. Have you had or do you want to have a threesome (or foursome, or more)? Nope, seems like too much hassle

78. Do you own any sex toys? None of my own, bought a few for the missus

79. Have you ever used a homemade sex toy, or a regular object as a sex toy? Nope

80. Can a dildo feel as good as a penis (assuming the person with the penis is good at what they do)? Wouldn't know

81. What are your favorite positions? Doggystyle, missionary with her legs on my shoulders

82. Your most embarrassing sexual experience? See 74.

83. Worst place/time you've ever gotten a boner? Boners in public are never your friend, so any time that's happened.

84. Have you ever had any genital injuries? Again, see 74.

85. Have you ever had a sexually transmitted infection? Thank God no.

86. Have you ever had a non-sexually transmitted genital infection (yeast infection, etc)? Nope.

87. If you lack a penis, have you ever tried to pee standing up? N/a

88. If you lack a penis, how familiar are you with how you look down there? N/a

89. Do you think you're "good" at sex, or your performance/skill could use improvement? I think I'm at least decent, but there's always room for improvement

90. Have you "sexted" (whether through text messaging or IM chat)? Nope, I'd just feel stupid.

91. Have you masturbated for or with someone via webcam? Don't have a webcam

92. Have you have phone sex? See 90.

93. If you had the opposite set of genitals for a day, name 5 things you would do. Masturbate and pray I don't get my period

94. What's something you like about your body? My tats

95. What's something you dislike about your body? My belly. Even when I weighed 90lbs I had a belly bulge.

96. What body parts do you find the sexiest? Ass and I like a nice stomach, not too toned but not real flabby either.

97. What was your most recent sexual thought? Probably something while reading Madame's answers

98. Do you ever just play with your boobs, penis, labia, etc.? Sure, it can't always be about lust so sometimes I like to prop it on a ps3 controller so we can play together

99. When was the last time you touched your genitals? When I took a whizz

100. Do you often imagine people naked? It's more fun than imagining them clothed

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[el_victorino]

1. What tends to feel better for you, sex or masturbation? Masturbating to myself having sex


2. Your 5 favorite spots to be stimulated. Walla Walla, Washougal, Oaxaca, Wisconsin, and my butthole


3. Have you ever had your prostate stimulated? My new "outie" bicycle seat guarantees it.

4. Have you ever had an orgasm from anywhere other than your genitals? See previous answer re bicycle seat prostate stimulation.

5. Do you prefer clitoral or vaginal stimulation? Whatever I can get away with.


6. Can you touch your clitoris directly, or does that hurt? I keep my clitoris collection in jars and nobody gets to touch them.



7. Are you well-acquainted with your G-spot? I have it programmed into my GPS.

8. Are handjobs boring, or underrated? I can never get the three girls to coordinate their tugging, so they often lead to chafing.



9. Do you like having your balls touched? I hate it when they touch the ground.


10. Do you like having your nipples touched? Stay away from my baby bottles.


11. Do you like having your anus touched? Yes, but only from the inside.

12. Have you ever been fisted (anally or vaginally)? I got punched once.

13. Do you like mild roughness? Nothing under 100 grit.


14. Do you have any kinks? My back hair is kind of kinky. Well, curly at least.


15. Are you into anything under the BDSM umbrella? Sex outside in the rain is dangerous, what with the lighting and all.


16. Do you pee in the shower? No, only INTO the shower.

17. Do you ever masturbate in the shower? Masturbate who in the shower?

18. Have you had sex in the shower? Yes. By the way, your mom's shampoo is awesome.

19. Do you like being naked? Why else would I implement No Pants Thursday?

20. Do you sleep partially/fully naked? Space suit.

21. Have you ever skinny dipped? No, but I have fat dipped. As long as your friends don't see you it's cool.

22. What's the most unusual thing you've done nude? Marched in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.


23. Have you ever to a nude beach, naked party, or other situation involving casual nudity? Does my bar mitzvah count?


24. Are you comfortable being seen partially/fully naked by family or friends (i.e. getting dressed, etc.)? My grammy tells me my balls are adorable.

25. Are you comfortable with partners seeing you nude in non-sexual contexts? Like my business partners? Of course.

26. Have you ever showered with someone (non-sexually)? Golden, yes. Otherwise, no way, that's gross!


27. Do you care if a partner sees you going to the bathroom? Yes. I don't care if they see me pooping but I don't them watching me go in there.

28. Do you have naked pictures/videos of yourself? Do x-rays count?


29. How many sexual partners have you had? 77. Of those, at least 39 were conscious and aware of it.


30. How often do you masturbate? I finished first and third.


31. Age you started masturbating? In utero



32. What position do you typically masturbate in (laying on back, on stomach, sitting up, etc.)? Downward facing dog.


33. Describe your masturbation routine, technique, etc. Listen to Rammstein on 11 while pogoing and beating up pedestrians.



34. What do you masturbate to (porn, smut, imagination, etc.)? C-Span.


35. Have you ever masturbated to the point you got sore? No, I'm usually pretty cheerful through the whole thing.


36. Your thoughts the first time you got up close and personal with the opposite set of genitals? "Holy jeezus! Did someone sweep a barbershop and dump it in the deli case?



37. Have you ever "compared" (genitals, breasts, whatever) with a friend? Only with enemies.

38. What kind of underwear do you normally wear? My Pretty Pony.



39. Do you ever go commando? I banged a WAC once.


40. Have you ever had a wet dream/orgasmed in your sleep? No, but I have while she was sleeping.



41. How big is your penis? Four inches. From the floor.

42. Does your penis curve at all? Mine is curled like a pig's tail. When I screw a girl she stays screwed.


43. Which testicle hangs lower? The middle one.

44. How big are your breasts? 36B

45. Do you long or short labia? I have a collection that runs the gamut.


46. Do you have a particularly large or tiny clitoris? See response above re jars.

47. Are you circumcised or no? The left side is. The right side is not.

48. Are you turned on or off by foreskin, or don't care? I like to wear them like hoodies.



49. What are you more into (or like more about yourself), boobs or butts?
I like butts, but with nipples on them.


50. Do you find genitals physically attractive, or weird/gross, or not feel strongly either way? Jews, genitals, I don't care either way.


51. Do you like the way your genitals look? Now that the bruising and swelling is going down, they're okay.



52. Would you be able to pick out your genitals from a lineup? I couldn't, but man, that fuckin' nun sure could. Bitch.


53. Do you like your butt? I've never tasted it.

54. What do you do with your pubic hair (shave, trim, wax, nothing, etc.)? Save it up to stuff throw pillows.

55. Do you care/have a preference what partners do with their pubic hair? I hate it when they use it as a garnish.

56. Do you tuck your penis a certain way (i.e. left or right) when you get dressed? I tuck it into my left sock.


57. Do you have or want any genital piercings? I have a three pound barbell that hangs from my Prince Albert.

58. What is the quickest you've ever brought yourself (or been brought) to orgasm? 4.5 hours.


59. Do you ever "edge" (repeatedly stop and start) when masturbating? No, but sometimes I fart.



60. What's the longest masturbation session you've had? Don't know yet. I'm coming up on 336 days and it ain't over yet.



61. What's the most orgasms you've had in one session (of anything)? 37, but that was in one session of Bingo.


62. Do your orgasms tend to be full-body, or crotch-centric? Mine center around the elbow.



63. Spit or swallow? Gargle.



64. When you ejaculate, do you more shoot or dribble? I earned this eye patch the hard way.

65. Is it hot or gross to get ejaculated on? Depends. On the bus? Hot. In line at the bank? Inconvenient.


66. Do you "squirt?" I sputter.


67. Have you ever attempted (or succeeded) to give yourself oral? Since I had the hinge installed, it's all good.

68. Have you ever given/received a footjob, boobjob, etc.? My favorite is the ankle job.



69. Have you ever had sex in a public place? Nobody told me those beds at Costco were for demo only.


70. Have you ever had sex in a bed/on a couch that didn't belong to either of you? There was that loveseat on the curb on garbage day, but I don't know if it belonged to anybody.

71. Have you ever had sex/masturbated while somebody was sleeping near you? Yes. Wait - you mean have I masturbated myself while someone was sleeping, not have I masturbated someone else while they were sleeping. Well, either way, yes.



72. How many rooms of your house/apartment/etc. have you had sex in? I have had sex in both the refrigerator box and the adjoining stove box.


73. Strangest/most unique place you've had sex? How about masturbated? In a dumpster behind an abortion clinic.


74. Have you had any sexual experiences that were downright gross? No.



75. Are you particularly "vocal" when masturbating/having sex? Does shrill count as vocal?



76. Have you ever been caught masturbating/having sex? No, I ran too fast. He kept saying "Stop, Police!" but he never caught me.



77. Have you had or do you want to have a threesome (or foursome, or more)? I'd like the next one to be with humans.


78. Do you own any sex toys? I make my own with Legos (tm)

79. Have you ever used a homemade sex toy, or a regular object as a sex toy? Ryobi power tools have a powerful vibration to them. That's all I'm sayin'

80. Can a dildo feel as good as a penis (assuming the person with the penis is good at what they do)? Whose penis?


81. What are your favorite positions? I'm a fiscal conservative but a social liberal.

82. Your most embarrassing sexual experience? When Father Flaherty chose Billy over me. Wasn't I cute enough?


83. Worst place/time you've ever gotten a boner? Let's just say that it's a good thing I didn't actually know the deceased.

84. Have you ever had any genital injuries? Back in dubya dubya two, I took a howitzer round to the nutsack. I can still smell the scorched hair.

85. Have you ever had a sexually transmitted infection? Venereal tonsilitis.


86. Have you ever had a non-sexually transmitted genital infection (yeast infection, etc)? Athlete's penis.

87. If you lack a penis, have you ever tried to pee standing up? I like to pee standing on my head.

88. If you lack a penis, how familiar are you with how you look down there? It's my PC desktop wallpaper.


89. Do you think you're "good" at sex, or your performance/skill could use improvement? I tend to score 8's to 9's when rated by committee
90. Have you "sexted" (whether through text messaging or IM chat)? I'm masturbating right now.

91. Have you masturbated for or with someone via webcam? Only on CCTV.


92. Have you have phone sex? Le'ts just say I get a lot of call backs from wrong numbers.

93. If you had the opposite set of genitals for a day, name 5 things you would do. Play with left tit. Play with right tit. Play with clit. Play with asshole. Play with clit again.

94. What's something you like about your body? It's buried deep enough that they'll never find it.

95. What's something you dislike about your body? The smell of decomposition.


96. What body parts do you find the sexiest? Napes.

97. What was your most recent sexual thought? My wiener itches.

98. Do you ever just play with your boobs, penis, labia, etc.? I'm typing this left handed.

99. When was the last time you touched your genitals? As we speak.

100. Do you often imagine people naked? No, I imagine them in latex nurse outfits.