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you're really going about this all wrong, mr. monkey.
you had me with the dog shit. I was intrigued by the hot, dog cock. but now your third pitch is just hotdogs?
think back to how you started fapping to pron.
boscov ads -> sniffing your cousin tonya's panties -> playboy -> finding your dad's VHS tapes in his locked briefcase with the tumbler lock set = 717 (our area code, dad, wtf? challenge me!) -> internet pron -> licking horse taint
see the natural progression? You've run out of steam and thrown your best pitches early. I've now lost interest...and now I dislike you and your vapid blogs.