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When my wife and I got married 10 years ago, we included her kids in the vows. It was my idea. They stood up there with us and had things to say. I made a vow not just to my wife, but to them also.
Shouldn't you think of your wife's kids as YOUR kids? If not, you shouldn't have gotten married. Thankfully, my kids even think of me as their father, not a step-dad.
If anyone would ever abuse my kids, well... let's just say one of my favorite quotes is "revenge is a dish best served cold".
Ok, I'll get off my high horse now.