Dear "_________" ...

Dear SNL,

Table is right. You should listen to your audience.

Sincerely,

Hasn't been a fan for ages.

[kjshadow]

Dear Dsf,

I would like to give my apoligies for my piss poor posts. Also for my
bad grammer, and puctuation. My attempt to be funny was a bad decision,
and it will not happen again. From now on I will only comment if I have
somthing truly great to say, and not just one liners. I hope I can make up
for being a Shitty NooB.

Sincerly,

kjshadow

[Zakko]

Dear Zakko
You're coming back as toilet paper.

Future Zakko

P.S. Toilet paper with fingers...

[cmetz]

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there is no toilet paper in the future! only 3 sea shells

[fuzzy_warbles]

Dear Barack Hussein Obama-
Fuck you.

[MrGoutHimself]

Dear Wachowski Brother and Sister (isn't one like a Pred-thread star now?),

In the future, all your movies should feature this kind of special sound effects.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5hllwWjyIEw

Thanks,
-MGH

Dear SRD,

Thanks fro the big LuLz

Epic fart matrix is epic.

--S666


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[decano67]

Dear Soon To be Ex-Wife,

It didn't have to go down this way... You should've just let me go and spend 6 months BY MYSELF like I wanted to and there's a good chance I would've come back. But since you decided to hack my email and my internet history, now you realize what not having sex for the last 3 years lead me to do... Porn isn't the enemy, having sex 3 times a year for 16 years is. A flirty email with a chick I haven't seen in 20 years and have zero chance of fucking is NOT an affair but what it is, is a reaction to not having sex on your wedding night nor in any other position but missionary for fear of seeming like a perv. Regular viewing of beautiful naked legal aged girl is NOT a sign of mental illness, but crying inconsolably after an orgasm because you feel dirty, is.
Contrary to what you may believe, I'm not banging girls two at a time since I've been away from home (but so what if I have.) I'm not on a downward spiral of self-destruction but a search for my true self... I haven't had a cigarette since I left, I hardly, I haven't needed an Ambien to fall asleep for the first time in 6 years and I've let my depression medication run out and I feel like me for the first time in 19 years. No more crying for no reason, no more hating everyone, and guess what? I've lost 25 pounds with no diet because I'm not over eating to feel some kind of satisfaction.
Don't get me wrong, I take full responsibility for our break-up. I should've been stronger with you: I should've said "NO" to 4 vacations a year without being able to afford to; I should've said "NO" to the new car every 36 months; I should've made you go to therapy when we first got married; I should've never let us live so close to your family; I should've never let you lend money to your sister; I should've sent you to physical therapy as soon as I found out you were sick; and finally, I should've gotten into therapy 10 years ago.
Remember, I let all these bad things in our marriage but you created the door for me to let them in. I'm sorry I'm out of your life but I'm not sorry that I've found some measure of Peace. I hope you find some of your own.

Decano67

[FortySuz&Two]

dear idiot neighbors,

why do you let your kids play in the road? has no one told you this is dangerous? more importantly, why have you apparently not told them to get out of the way of cars as they just sit and stare at me while i honk at them to get out of my way? idiots raising idiots. just fucking great.

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You been hanging out with Striker again? You sound just like him lately


(BTW, i agree with you on that one)