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#62
03-01-2008, 08:42 AM
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A Polish mechanic is fixing his headlights. “Help me out here,” he yells to his buddy. “Is my blinker working?”
The friend says, “Yes…no…yes.” 
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#63
03-01-2008, 08:47 AM
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A man in a taxi taps the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screams bloody murder, loses control of the cab, and swerves onto the sidewalk before stopping just inches from a lamppost.
After checking to make sure the passenger is OK, the driver says, “I’m sorry, but you scared the daylights out of me.” “Sorry. I didn’t realize a simple tap on the shoulder would freak you out so much,” the passenger says. “It’s not your fault,” replies the cabbie. “Today is my first day on the job after 25 years of driving a hearse.”
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#64
03-01-2008, 08:52 AM
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This college professor has a really foul mouth. The guys love it, but after a few weeks some of the female students start to get offended and decide to stage a walkout the next day.
The following morning before class, the professor is tipped off about the protest. So he waits until all the students are settled in their seats and then says, “So, the USS Indianapolis is coming into port after months at sea. Bet those boys’ll fuck anything that moves.” At that moment a bunch of coeds get up and head for the door. “Ladies,” the professor continues, “they’re not docking until tomorrow.” Done for today... I love that professor 
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#66
03-05-2008, 10:25 AM
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What's the hardest part of being a pedophile?
Fitting in.
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#67
03-05-2008, 08:02 PM
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What is the best part of banging twenty-eight year olds?
There are twenty of them. How did Chris Beniot's wife die? She forgot to tap out. Why didn't superman save princess Di when she got in her car accident? He was in a fucking wheelchair. Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was a woman. How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They left the plunger in the toilet. And of course, a horrible dead baby joke: How do you make a dead baby cry twice? Wipe your dick on its teddy bear.
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#68
03-06-2008, 03:20 AM
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Code:
Content, Pictures and Download links visible to registered users only. REGISTER NOW to access all areas that are invisible to non-members. Getting the blood out of your clown suit. Keep this going!
__________________
I've been to three World's Fairs and a goat-fuck, and I've never seen anything like that!
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#69
03-06-2008, 09:30 AM
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Hillbilly mirror
After living in the remote wilderness of Kentucky all his life, an old hillbilly decided it was time to visit the big city.
In one of the stores he picks up a mirror and looks in it. Not ever having seen one before, he remarked at the image staring back at him, 'How about that! Here's a picture of my daddy.' He bought the mirror thinking it was a picture of his daddy, but on the way home he remembered his wife didn't like his father. So he hung it in the barn, and every morning before leaving for the fields, he would go there and look at it. His wife began to get suspicious of these many trips to the barn. One day after her husband left, she searched the barn and found the mirror. As she looked into the glass, she fumed, 'So that's the ugly bitch he's runnin' around with.'
__________________
I once had every vag on DSF dripping wet reading an erotic story I posted... about a man and his horse
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#70
03-06-2008, 10:20 AM
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The other night I was invited out for a night with "the boys". I told my wife that I would be home by midnight ..promise!
Well, the hours passed and the beer was going down way too easy. At around 2:30 a.m., drunk as a skunk, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly, I realized she'd probably wake up, so I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself, having a quick-witted solution, even when smashed, to escape a possible conflict. The next morning my wife asked me what time I got in, and I told her twelve o'clock. She didn't seem disturbed at all. Whew! Got away with that one! She then told me that we needed a new cuckoo clock. When I asked her why, she said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said "oh shit," cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then farted."
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