Lousy Lawyer Loses

[Fever]

Lawyer blames his BMW for speeding and loses
by The Associated Press Saturday June 20, 2009, 11:31 AM
A Portland attorney who blamed his German luxury car for a speeding ticket was told he was responsible, not the automaker.
Akin Blitz said he was just trying to get ahead of a line of cars following a motorhome over a mountain pass on U.S. Highway 26 -- that he had no idea his BMW 535xi was going 76 mph in a 55 mph zone because of its handling characteristics.
But Clatsop County Circuit Judge Philip Nelson fined Blitz $182 and told him he was not only speeding, he ignored the risk of hitting wildlife that frequently cross the road.
Blitz had buttressed his arguments with a PowerPoint presentation and testimony from a mechanic.

LOL - leave it to an attorney. "My car is just too good!"

special son of a bitch -

torn because while I believe policing has become an income generating self-perpetuating industry beyond just public welfare, assholes that take up the courts time with shit like this are just burning our resources. so fuck 'em both.

(btw, maybe this is a good place for ridiculous attorney stories/frivolous defense stories)

[Trips]

Texas strip club sues 14-year-old exotic dancer

A strip club that hired a 14-year-old as an exotic dancer is now suing the girl, saying the seventh-grader swindled them into breaking state law.

The San Antonio teen allegedly exposed her breasts while working at Cheetah Club in Corpus Christi, a violation of state law.

Alan Yaffe, the club?s attorney, said the club didn?t know the girl was a minor.

?She came (into the club) with 6-inch stiletto heels and a miniskirt and looked just like a model from a Miss America?s contest,? Yaffe said.

Yaffe also disputed the sequence of events that authorities say brought the 14-year-old girl to Club Cheetah, where she exposed her breasts ? a violation of state law.

Police say Leslie Campbell, 48, kidnapped the teenager in San Antonio in March, took her to Corpus Christi, sexually assaulted her over the course of a week, gave her a false identification card and forced her to strip at the club.

Police say the girl, who has not been identified, escaped from Campbell?s home and has been reunited with her parents in San Antonio.

Campbell was arrested and remains in Nueces County Jail on charges of aggravated sexual assault and aggravated kidnapping.
Seeking damages

RJL Entertainment Inc., ? which is doing business as ?Cheetah Club,? according to tax records ? filed the lawsuit last week.

The suit seeks unspecified damages from Campbell, the girl and her parents, as well as a declaration from a judge that it did not intend to hire a minor.

?We?re the victims here,? Yaffe said.

Authorities also arrested Jeffery Shawn Martinez, a manager at the club, on charges of employment harmful to a minor and sexual performance of a child. He was released on bail.

Martinez?s attorney, Fred Jimenez, said his client is not guilty.

?The minor walked in there with a fake ID and presented herself to be 22 years old,? Jimenez said. ?She looks very mature.?

Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission Sgt. John Mann disagreed.

?I?ve seen this young lady?s picture, and I assure you she is a 14-year-old seventh-grader,? Mann said. ?I personally think any reasonable and prudent person could tell you that is an underage girl.?

Mann said he expects his agency to take legal action against the club.

[Predator24]

What I want to know is, was she worth the $50 for the Champagne room???

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[axl-69]

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I agree about locals and states just trying to make scratch, but this douche was going over 20 the posted limit. I get pissed about seatbelt tickets and getting pulled for 5 miles over...... Snoogins!

[Trips]

Typo cuts drug offender's prison term


(CNN) -- A three-letter typo has slashed years off a prison sentence for a repeat drug offender in Ohio.
Calvin Eugene Wells discovered a discrepancy on the verdict form for his conviction.

Calvin Eugene Wells discovered a discrepancy on the verdict form for his conviction.

Calvin Eugene Wells of Akron was sentenced in October 2005 to 10 years in prison after being convicted of possessing more than 100 grams of cocaine, a first-degree felony.

Or so it seemed.

While serving his time, Wells discovered a stray word on the verdict form signed by the jurors who convicted him in Summit County Common Pleas Court. The form, typed up by a court or prosecutor's office employee, read:

"We, the Jury, find the Defendant Guilty of the offense of POSSESSION OF CRACK COCAINE.

"We, the jury, further find that the amount of crack cocaine WAS in the amount exceeding ten one hundred (100) grams as charged in the indictment." See the document

The word "ten" in the second sentence is extraneous.

Wells brought the error to a succession of attorneys' attention, but no one managed to turn it to his advantage until Jason Desiderio was appointed to represent him.
Don't Miss

* See the erroneous verdict form (PDF)
* Read the Appeals Court's decision (PDF)

"I have never seen anything like this in my life, where just attorney after attorney did nothing," Desiderio said.

"I think he had four appellate attorneys, and one appeal ... It's a very, very bizarre case."

Under Ohio law, for a person to be found guilty of a higher-level felony, the jury form must state either the degree of the offense or the circumstances that would make it a higher offense. The form's second sentence apparently was an attempt to state those circumstances, but the stray word muddled the meaning, Desiderio said.

A three-judge panel of the Ohio Court of Appeals unanimously agreed.

"The form is unclear, and we cannot determine what the jury understood 'ten one hundred (100) grams' to mean," Judge Eve Belfance wrote in the court's decision. "It certainly could have meant an amount exceeding one hundred grams, but it is possible the jury believed the form actually meant an amount exceeding less than one gram." Read the whole opinion

The uncertainty meant Wells could be convicted of nothing more than a fifth-degree felony, the judges ruled. The maximum sentence for a fifth-degree felony is one year, and Wells already had served four. Game over.

But not quite.

It seems Wells is wanted in Morris County, New Jersey, on a November 2000 sheriff's warrant for violating his probation for drug and weapons convictions. The sheriff is seeking extradition, spokeswoman Staci Santucci said. It's unlikely he'll be able to avoid it, said Desiderio, who will not be able to represent Wells because he's not licensed in New Jersey.

The original judge in the Ohio case, James R. Williams, is retired. The Summit County prosecutor's office did not return calls seeking comment on Wells' case.

"At the end of the day, he was convicted, and I understand that some people are going to feel upset that he's essentially out six years earlier than anyone anticipated," Desiderio said.

"But in our system, we give the benefit of the doubt to the defendant, and we do that for good reason. And in here there's a statutory mandate to ensure that we know what we're convicting people of and we know why we're doing it. And that mandate wasn't met."

[Trips]

Miley Cyrus Among Reported Victims In Hamilton County Child Porn Case


Earlier this year, Hamilton County authorities found photo's of three-young girls on Michael Wayne Campbell's computer. Those photos led to 31-charges of aggravated sexual exploitation of a minor.

During Campbell's preliminary hearing today, his attorney took those photo's to task. "There's no photographs or depictions of any of these three minors in a nude fashion or any other type fashion?" he asked. "No not with their actual body no," replied Detective Michael Cox.

Cox testified the faces of the three victims had been cut out of normal pictures and placed on the nude bodies of more mature females. Cox says Campbell's "statement about the photographs that he altered was that he wanted to see what they would look like as adults."

Detective Cox says two of the girls are local, a ten-year old and a 12-year old. The other victim appears to be teen sensation Miley Cyrus. Campbell's attorney asked Det. Cox "at what age were these photographs of Miley Cyrus?" Det. Cox replied "I'm not 100% sure at the time those photographs were taken of the facial features that were altered, but she's currently 16-years old."

Investigators could find no evidence that Campbell had any inappropriate contact with the three youngsters, but that may not matter. Assistant District Attorney Dave Denny says "when you have the face of a small child affixed to a nude body of a mature woman, its going to be the states position that this is for sexual gratification and that this is simulated sexual activity."

Campbell reportedly told authorities he didn't know what he was doing was illegal.

A judge bound Campbell's case over to the grand jury. He remains free on more than $100,000 bond.

Campbell's attorney say he'll argue the validity of the charges if the case proceeds further.

[Mr Handlebars]

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First off, having working in the strip club biz, if a girl comes in dress to the nines, looking for a job, most managers will look at the girl, check the DOB and see if the pic looks similar to the person and that's it, she's hired.

His guy Mann is an a-hole just trying to make a case. With the way girls are developing so early these days, a 14 year old could pass for an 18 yr old and no manager is going to know the difference. Where the club made their mistake was by suing the girl and her parents. The case with Campbell is criminal, not civil. By filing suit, they opened a can of worms that is going to get their licence pulled. I know enough about strip clubs to know that an underage worker will always result in a fine, regardless as to whom is to blame. Most bars, if they can show the girl used a good phony ID, they will still get fined, but the violation won't go against their licence unless they have a history of it or make a Federal case out of it. Campbell is guilty of kidnapping, contributing to the delinquency of a minor, plus if he supplied the id, then that a whole other ball of wax.

I have met guys like this guy from Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission and some will do anything to make a name for themselves, including perjuring themselves and fabricating statements and evidence. We had one guy locally that attested to indecency and it turned out he had never been in the bar. To try and cover his ass when he got found out, is he said he must have gotten the places comfused. BullShit!


And BTW......predator...... where do you know a bar that has $50 Champagne Rooms. I know a lot of people that would love to go to that bar. 10 years ago when I DJ'ed, rooms were going for no less than $200 for 30 minutes.

[Predator24]

Connecticut has strip bars that work on volume of guests and low cover charges. Plus due to the laws here prohibiting strip bars and most have been grandfathered in, the guests willing to go in the back can negotiate great rates.
Next time you're here, I'll give you a tour

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[Mr Handlebars]

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I'm supposed to go to Conn. later this summer, but I'd be afraid to go to any of those bars with you. They'd probably be tranny bars in disguise and I might get to like them.

[Predator24]

Well Mr. H, are you a man of adventure and excitement???

How bout we place wagers like on the Maury show??

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