Your Favorite Act of Revenge?

[doubledip]

Hahaha....drinking revenge....

One time this guy was being a douchebag, acting like he could beat anyone at chugging out of mugs...so we put a half a bottle of jose in with a beer and half of another....i walked up 2 pre poured mugs and said "i wanna take you on" he was like "bring it the fuck on!!!"(in a hardcore party tone of course) and well needless to say he won, only because i was laughing too hard and then I waited until someone else challenged him and he started throwing up in the cup...we told him the next morning and since then he hasn't wanted to chug anything since!!!!

[SexyLion]

Shast, thanks, cause I really HATE my boss...although we think he is already boinking some of the ladies (and maybe some men) in the office already.

[Kyle E. Coyote]

I punch them in the mouth until they cry like a girl.

Okay, here goes:

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make.

I found the number and dialed it.
A man answered, saying "Hello?"
I politely said, "This is (my name) with (my company). Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?"
Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right fucking number!" and the phone was slammed down on me.

When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits.

After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.

When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're a fucking jerk!" and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word 'jerk' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're a fucking jerk!"

It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic jerk calling would have to stop.

So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is Pat DuGroin from the telephone company. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?"

He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone. I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're a fucking jerk!" and hung up.

One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I then noticed a 'For Sale' sign in his back window, so I wrote down his number. A couple of days later, right after calling the first fucking jerk (I had his number on speed dial), I thought that I'd better call the BMW asshole, too.

I said, "Is this the man with the black Camaro for sale?"
He said, "Yes, it is...."
I asked, "Can you tell me where I can see it?"
He said, "Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd. , in Fairfax. It's a yellow rambler, and the car's parked right out in front."
I asked his name, He said Don Hansen.

I asked, "When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
He said, "I'm home every evening after five."

I said, "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"
"Yes?"
I said, "Don, you're a fucking jerk!"

Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two jerks to call.

Then I came up with an idea.
I called Asshole #1.
I said, "You're a fucking jerk!"... but didn't hang up.

He asked, "Are you still there?"
"Yeah."
He screamed, "Stop calling me!"
I said, "Make me."
He asked, "Who are you?"

I said, "My name is Don Hansen."
He said, "Yeah? Where do you live?"

I said, "Jerk, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax, a yellow house with a black V8 Camaro parked out front."

He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don.
And you had better start saying your prayers."
I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asswipe" and hung up.

Then I called Asshole No. 2.
He said, "Hello?"
I said, "Hello, asshole ."
He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are...."
I said, "You'll what, kill me?"
"Maybe I will" he said.
I answered, "Well, asshole, here's your chance.
I'm coming over right now."

Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax , and that my gay lover was on his way over to kill me.

[Thomas]

DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED!!

haha i have some good ones!

Case #1 - I bought my sister a cool ring from this artsy store in a strip mall for her birthday. All the stuff they have there is really expensive but this ring only cost around $150 or so. Well my sister had it for one day and the stone in it fell out! So we went back and asked if we could exchange it and they WOULDNT! I bought the ring the day before and they said since those rings were hand crafted that we should have been careful with it.

No amount of reasoning would work and the owner was being kind of a bitch. I was so furious that i thought about what to do for a while and came up with a plan. Thanksgiving day night i went to that store and squirted EPOXY into the front door keyhole and went around back and did the same.

Drove by the next day about an hour after opening time and they were still not open and there was a locksmith truck there. Busiest day of the year too.

I am pretty sure that replacing those locks and the locksmith charge cost them more than $150.


Case #2 - My mother is a real estate developer and we own apartment complexes. Well one time we had a real bitch of a tenant in one of the apartments. She was a bartender and would come home really late and be really loud and wake up the other tenants. She always parked in the handicapped parking because it was closest to her apartment.

After repeated notices and warnings to no avail i waited til she came home late one night and I took a potato and stuck it in her tailpipe and spray painted the end black so you couldnt see it. She couldn't start her car the next day and got it towed to a mechanic.

After that i "encouraged" all her immediate neighbors to file a formal complaint to our office. If we get 3 formal complaints we evict (it's in our lease). Needless to say we got 3 quick formal complaints after i told her neighbors about that policy.

[Shasturbator]

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haha, I've done that one too, a potato stays in the tailpipe much better than a banana....

[binary_jester]

In high school, my buddy and I were sitting around his work. It was really slow, so we were looking at old applications. A friend of ours had put one in.

I got not so nice of an idea. I knew she wasn't home, so I gave her house a call. Her mom answered...

Mom...Hello?

Me...Hi, this is Jeff from Totally Nude Cabret. Denise put in an application as a dancer, but we need to verify her age.

Mom...SHE DID WHAT??

Me...Ok, I can take it from your reaction that she is not 18. Would you let her know that her audition was excellent and as soon as she turns 18, she can have a job here anytime.

Mom...:screams something unintelligible in the phone: *click*

When we saw her the next day, she was so pissed, we never owned up to it. I guess there was 20 minutes of frantic screaming until they called the bar (that was the name of a bar) and verified there wasn't a Jeff working there.

Not so much revenge, just loved fucking with people.

[amylikewhoa]

I had this boss who hated me so much for no reason, so when she would leave for the day I used to be a really lazy peace of shit, and one of my friends that was also one of my bosses, and I were wasting time in our bosses office and I was going through her drawers and I found her chapstick, so I rolled up up as much as I could without it breaking it and put it in my vag, and a couple days later I was in the office with her and she used it right in front of me. It was the best day of work ever.

did she start to get sores on her lips after that?


JUST KIDDING AMY!!! *nudge nudge*

you know we joke around here. dont get your feelings hurt

[Shasturbator]

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what's wrong with that? I'd use it

[Mohaman Cheez]

Had a captain at work that was a total cocksucker,he used to try and lie on the guys to get them time off.He would lock his office door and take the keys home so nobody could get in when he was gone.However,just above his office was a crawlspace where you could slide in during midnights and have just enough room to get your dick out and piss down a certain building rafter and it would soak through his ceiling right onto his desk.
And along the lines of Thomas' story,I knew what time he came into to a tee and when I put the crazy glue in his lock just before he got there they key managed to actually get fused in the lock.
Another guy at work was scheduled to work Christmas.In the weeks before the holiday he was asked if he wanted to swap the day,to which he refused. Come Christmas day nameless prick decides to call off sick so I get stuck working the mandatory(the 1st Christmas with my new wife and house).So the next night I register him for information for a gay men singles cruise,gay porn catalogs sent to his house and a nice rainbow sticker on his bumper that for some reason stayed there for at least 3 weeks.