Here's a list of things me and my friend devised of things we'd rather do/see than watch Inglourious Basterds again.
1. Watch my mother get fingered in the fart box
2. Rape my dog's maggot infest carcass
3. Watch Soul Plane back to back, even though that would be 30 minutes longer than Inglourious Basterds
4. Listen to a deaf person read The Great Gatsby cover to cover
5. Listen to 2 1/2 of my sister describing what everyone in her office was wearing today and how it made them look
6. Let Jackson Pollack use my body as a canvas and use the extracted cum of 1,000 dead hobos as a base for his next masterpiece
7. Be Paris Hilton's BFF
8. Be Perez Hilton's BFF
9. Watch From Justin 2 Kelly all day, all night, and all Lent long (that's about 640 viewings)
10. Have a Trekkie describe the relationship between Spock and Kirk in vivid detail
11. Write & Direct the 2nd season of Kath & Kim and finance the whole thing via the prostitution of myself through a gay bathhouse in the darkest corner of Hell
12. Spend 2 1/2 hours listening to "C'mon DJ" by Mustang Sally
13. Watch the Bible Network for a week
14. Watch an amputee play Monopoly by themselves until they win
15. Put together a 5,000 piece puzzle of the color gray.
16. Live in an Aryan world
17. Roll tarp at the World Series of Taking a Shit
18. Devise the rules to The World Series of Taking A Shit
19. Hop in the Delorean and go back in time to before Reservoir Dogs was made and kill Tarantino just so the wheels don't get set in motion to make Inglourious Basterds.
We got tired and stopped, but we could've gone on longer.
Inglourious Basterds was the biggest floppy piece of shit I've ever seen in my fucking life.