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Old 02-21-2009, 07:49 PM
adhesivestp adhesivestp is offline
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Default Kurt Cobain is writing songs from beyond the grave wtf

http://monkeybastardsv20.blogspot.co...ald-linda.html

The outsider music investigation continues with two complete fucking nutcases, Gerald and Linda Polley of North Dakota. I've written about mentally unstable characters in the past (Eilert Pilarm, Wesley Willis etc), but these two are the first bonafide lock-them-the-fuck-up-before-they-hurt-themselves loonies to grace this blog.

Gerry and Lindy, as I affectionately like to call them sometimes, are "speakers". Which means they channel spirits and voices from beyond the realms of human comprehension. Gerald claims to be an "internationally known psychic", which I can only interpret as "someone in Canada heard of me once".

Interestingly, the Polleys don't refer to themselves as Christians, they claim to be completely neutral and are only delivering the messages brought forth to them. Which of course is only a sneaky way of saying that the existence of Jesus Christ as humanity's saviour is an unbiased truth. If two completely neutral agnostic psychics get messages from Jesus, how can you possibly question his divinity? Right?

I've been trying to set up an interview with the Polleys for several weeks, but they won't answer my emails. Perhaps the email address itself (monkey_bastard at hotmail dot com) made them suspicious. They have a website, and there's so many goodies on there I don't even know where to begin.

There's one area where they post songs that they've recorded. Not written however, no these songs were provided for them by the likes of George Harrison, John Lennon and Johnny Cash. And Kurt Cobain, who in the afterlife appears very passionate about trans fats and the spiritual wars raging in Ellsworth, Maine.

As the website explains:

"Kurt Cobain has been working with them but Gerald is the one who can bring through his songs. Kurt has given them a short version of the song he's singing in The Afterlife about what is going on with the Spiritual Forces in Gerald's home town of Ellsworth, Maine.

Kurt insisted that Gerald sing it with Linda. Gerald said it would probably be better if Linda just sang it herself, but Kurt insisted. So Gerald did the best he could. You'll notice if you listen to the song and read the lyrics even with the sheet in his hand and reading them Gerald did one part wrong. However they didn't have time to do more attempts. Just not enough hours! But it still sounds good that way.

The lyrics are the way it's supposed to be sung. They just can't do Kurt's style! They wish they could get some really hot band to record this! Linda thinks this is the best song they've done together since 'Whacko The Clown'."

I'm on the edge of my seat - what "really hot" band will be first to record Kurt Cobain's The Battle Is Raging about the spiritual forces in Ellsworth, Maine? The suspense is killing me! Scroll down to download The Battle Is Raging. Then form a really hot band and record a cover of it!

There's also a part about Gerald's candidacy for the Republican presidency of the United States. His platform included battle cries such as Children's Rights? Yes. Child Abuse? No! and Weapons of Mass Destruction? Not On My Watch!. Not to mention If You Live in the U.S., English is Our Language.

When Barack Obama won, Jesus was absolutely outraged and revealed to the world (through internationally known speaker Gerald Polley) that he was stepping down and from now he will:
"give the authority to give all of God's messages to Speaker Gerald Polley, who, as long as he lives, will be God's only true voice on Earth, the only one in the material world that has God's truth. This is positive and absolute. In any question of doctrine, in any question of belief he is God's only authority on Earth. If he says God disapproves of something, God disapproves of it. If he says God approves of something, God approves of it, that is it. There is no one else. Anyone that disagrees with him on any subject is not of God. "
Wow.



I initially found this to be extraordinary entertainment of a sort only Christian zealots can provide, until I started watching some of their recent videos on YouTube (all their old videos were deleted by the site and apparently "Jesus is even angrier than ever!").

In some of these, one of which you can see at the bottom of this post, Linda hints at suffering from mental instability and retardation and that her husband "saved her" from it by teaching her to clean the house, cook for him and hear the voice of Jesus in her head.

This interesting turn of events gave this whole ordeal a new and very depressing light. You could see it as a humanitarian act on Gerald's part to give Linda some direction and purpose in her life, or you can see it as brainwashing someone vulnerable who doesn't know better. No awards for figuring out where I stand on the matter.

I don't know if Gerald Polley genuinely believe that he is hearing God's voice or if he is simply another manipulative douchebag with a Messiah complex. And I don't care, both scenarios are equally chilling.

This sort of blind religious fanaticism is without a doubt the most frightening phenomenon on this planet, but I suppose at the end of the day one can always comfort oneself with the knowledge that these people are harmless and on the fringes of Christianity, or even society, and won't hurt anyone any time soon.

It's still highly fucked up though.

Take a few minutes to hear these three amazing songs written by Kurt Cobain in heaven.

Songs include:
1. The Battle Is Raging
2. Don't Listen To The Voices
3. Down With The Trans Fats

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Old 02-21-2009, 07:57 PM
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If Tupac can do it, why not Kurt?
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Old 02-21-2009, 11:17 PM
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if kurt cobain is now writing songs about trans fats i'm gonna shoot myself in the head
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Old 02-21-2009, 11:40 PM
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maybe it's about Courtney...she's lookin' a little soft lately.
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