Things that piss me off about porn. - The Drunken stepFORUM - A place to discuss your worthless opinions

not~ted · #1 02-15-2009, 01:59 AM

1.) Spitting: I do not want any woman spitting on my dick. There are more subtle and effective ways of using your saliva as lubricant. Spitting is not sexy.

2.) The criss-cross ass grab: I'm talking about that move the dude does when fucking a girl doggy style and he crosses his arms and grabs her ass. Look, I understand that porn is all about be able to see the action. But what does this accomplish? Nothing. No one does this except porn stars. So please stop.

3.) Tit-slapping: Why are you slapping her tits? I think you are doing it wrong.

4.) Cumming on her face: I don't really want to watch a guy jerk off for two minutes to come on her face. And while we're at it, why would I want to cum on a woman's face? I can jerk off by myself. If I'm gonna get down with a fine woman, I'm holding my position until I'm done. Cream-pie porn needs more respect.

5.) Too much anal: where this used to be the exception, it is now the norm. Some of us prefer vaginal sex, so please stop turning every scene into an anal adventure.

Discuss.

nachos1345 · #2 02-15-2009, 02:00 AM

Are you gay?

not~ted · #3 02-15-2009, 02:03 AM

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For the last time, no. You're a nice guy and all, but I just don't swing that way.

nachos1345 · #4 02-15-2009, 02:05 AM

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Why did you feel the need to post a list of things you hate about porn, no one gives a shit what you don't like, your opinion doesn't matter.

not~ted · #5 02-15-2009, 02:10 AM

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Uh, because it's the internet?

I'm just trying to improve the quality of the product, man. You know, build a better mouse trap and all that. I'm a busy guy, and I don't need to be wasting time watching dudes slap tits, and jerk off on girls faces.

nachos1345 · #6 02-15-2009, 02:14 AM

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So watch gay porn, that gets rid of the tit-slapping and jerking off on a girl's face.

Boon · #7 02-15-2009, 08:08 AM

You're a prude. Stick with Cinemax.

However, to engage this conversation, my complaint about porn is all the talented poon shown that I'm not getting. Then again, I'm neither hung, nor rich. Nor do I possess stamina, staying power, muscles, good hair, or the ability to blow sperm at any measurable distance.

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serafina · #8 02-15-2009, 04:37 PM

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Girls only care about how far you can blow your sperm.

surfmagik15 · #9 02-17-2009, 02:20 AM

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I wish that was entirely true...I can build up quite the pressure

mynameismike · #10 02-17-2009, 02:41 AM

Just my two bits, but a chick spitting on your cock is hot as fuck. I don't know what kinds of 50 year old librarians your fucking, but when a fine young woman is going down on you, her spitting on your member is something good.