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rdc2007 · #1 02-11-2009, 03:44 PM

India to launch cow urine as soft drink

Does your Pepsi lack pep? Is your Coke not the real thing? India's Hindu nationalist movement apparently has the answer: a new soft drink made from cow urine.

The bovine brew is in the final stages of development by the Cow Protection Department of the Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh (RSS), India's biggest and oldest Hindu nationalist group, according to the man who makes it.

Om Prakash, the head of the department, said the drink ? called "gau jal", or "cow water" ? in Sanskrit was undergoing laboratory tests and would be launched "very soon, maybe by the end of this year".

"Don't worry, it won't smell like urine and will be tasty too," he told The Times from his headquarters in Hardwar, one of four holy cities on the River Ganges. "Its USP will be that it's going to be very healthy. It won't be like carbonated drinks and would be devoid of any toxins."

The drink is the latest attempt by the RSS ? which was founded in 1925 and now claims eight million members ? to cleanse India of foreign influence and promote its ideology of Hindutva, or Hindu-ness.

Hindus revere cows and slaughtering them is illegal in most of India. Cow dung is traditionally used as a fuel and disinfectant in villages, while cow urine and dung are often consumed in rituals to "purify" those on the bottom rungs of the Hindu caste system.

In 2001, the RSS and its offshoots ? which include the opposition Bharatiya Janata Party ? began promoting cow urine as a cure for ailments ranging from liver disease to obesity and even cancer.

The movement has often been accused of using more violent methods, such as killing 67 Christians in the eastern state of Orissa last year, and assaulting women in a pub in Mangalore last month. It also has a history of targeting foreign business in India, as in 1994, when it organised a nationwide boycott of multinational consumer goods, including Pepsi and Coca Cola.

The cola brands are popular in India, now one of their biggest markets, but have struggled in recent years to shake off allegations, which they deny, that they contain dangerous levels of pesticide.

Mr Prakash said his drink, by contrast, was made mainly of cow urine, mixed with a few medicinal and ayurvedic herbs. He said it would be "cheap", but declined to give further details about its price or ingredients until it was officially launched.

He insisted, however, that it would be able to compete with the American cola brands, even with their enormous advertising budgets. "We're going to give them good competition as our drink is good for mankind," he said. "We may also think of exporting it."

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Would this go well with a hamburger?

#2 02-11-2009, 04:35 PM

Wow, i am so happy that someone has come up with a product which sill surely be a massive hit and bring India out of the grips of its crippling poverty.

nachos1345 · #3 02-11-2009, 04:42 PM

I love the taste of cow piss in the morning.

thermos · #4 02-11-2009, 04:45 PM

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Just in the wee hours of the morn' ?

god that was lame. lamer than creating another 'ask me' thread.

nachos1345 · #5 02-11-2009, 04:48 PM

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Why isn't there an Ask Thermos thread? I'm sure you give great advice.

rdc2007 · #6 02-11-2009, 04:50 PM

I thought about starting an "Ask RDC" thread and just not answering anybody.

thermos · #7 02-11-2009, 04:55 PM

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Hahah...I haven't a hot box, a unique profession, nor an accent.....so really, there's no need. I'll just dispense snarky advice in every other thread instead.

The nostalgic queer in me still prefers the 'dear randal' thread....but I actually enjoy the others too, I'm just being a dick. Max makes me giggle and Pobs is actually a nOOb I can tolerate.

#8 02-11-2009, 04:55 PM

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hahaha that would be funny. inevitably people would just start asnwering eachothers' questions and it would get thread jacked into something completely different..

thermos · #9 02-11-2009, 04:56 PM

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hahahaha.....best one yet. RDC, you need to take a smoke break from upping links and join the fuckery more often.

hayoka · #10 02-12-2009, 02:46 PM

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you need to add this link to the end of any comments like that so people can click on the button and get the full experience.
http://www.instantrimshot.com