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hahah...I missed this LOL gem the other day.
I'm slightly concerned about the torsional resistance of the tissue reinforced with splooge*? might I suggest ripping out a few pages of the hymnal to be incorporated as main load carrying elements - and merely using the jizzy kleenex as an architectural facade?
*all predicated upon a viscous, lightweight spunk - if we're referring to gorilla glue type semen, then perhaps I can stand behind your design...but since I'm assuming, I have to be conservative. please refer to SLF's spunk viscosity chart for design values.
Back on point - I've been on a Sam Adams - Summer Ale kick lately. I too, should go get more.