Post the most *OFFENSIVE* jokes you know

[annahilton]

A black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder,
the bartender looks at him and asks hey where'd you get that thing?
and the parrot says "i got him in africa they are running around all over the place"


and my second favorite

a blonde girl goes up to a black man at the club and whispers in his ear
"hey why dont you take me home and show me what black guys are famous for?". so he takes her home, beats her up and steals her tv.


an after thought

whats the difference between a black man and a pizza?
a pizza can feed a family of four.

[ata033]

A man walks into a bar and sees an alligator in a kiddie pool next to the bar. He says to the Bartender "Aren't you afraid your gator will hurt someone?" The bartender says "Hell no, this gator is trained and will only do what I want. Here, let me show you." The bartender whips his dick out and punches the gator on the nose. The gator opens its mouth and the bartender puts his dick in the alligator's mouth. After 10 minutes, he puts his dick back in his pants and says to the gator, "Shut it" which makes the alligator shut his mouth. The man says, "Wow, that was amazing." The bartender looks at him and says, "Wanna give it a try?" The man thinks about it, then says, "SHIT YEAH!!!!! But I don't think I can hold my mouth open for 10 minutes."

[moloch]

Six of the seven dwarfs are sitting around the house one day when Sleepy rushes in and says, "Guess what guys, I've won a trip to see the Pope!"

Everyone gets all excited and chants, "We finally get to ask him, we finally get to ask him."

The next day, they are standing in front of the Pope, Dopey out in front of the other six. All the other six start pushing Dopey and saying, "Go ahead, Dopey, ask him,ask him!"

The Pope looks at Dopey and asks, "Do you have a question to ask me, young man?"

Dopey looks up shyly and says, "Well, yes." The Pope tells him to go ahead and ask.

Dopey asks, "Well, do....do they have nuns in Alaska?"

The Pope replies,"Well, yes, I'm sure we have nuns in Alaska." The others all keep nudging Dopey and chanting, "Ask him the rest, Dopey, ask him the rest!"

The Pope asks Dopey if there's more to his question, and Dopey continues, "Well, uh, do they have, uh, black nuns in Alaska?"

To which the Pope replies, "Well, my son, I think there must be a few black nuns in Alaska, yes."

Still not satisfied, the others keep saying, "Ask him the last part, Dopey, ask him the last part!"

The Pope asks Dopey, "Is there still more to your question?"

To which Dopey replies, "Well, uh, yeah..... are there, uh, are there any midget black nuns in Alaska?"

The startled Pope replies, "Well, no, my son, I really don't think there are any midget black nuns in Alaska."

At this, Dopey turns all kinds of colors, and the others start laughing, and yelling, "Dopey fucked a penguin, Dopey fucked a penguin!"

[Kyle E. Coyote]

What's the difference between a Jew and a muffin?
The muffin doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

What do you throw a drowning Mexican?
His wife and kids.

How do you starve a black guy?
Hide his food stamps under his work boots.

How does a Mexican go about getting into an honest business?
Typically through the skylight.

[mhump23]

A young girl goes up to her Daddy and says, "Daddy can I borrow the truck?"

Daddy says, " You wanna borrow the truck you gotta suck my cock."

"Eeeyuuu, Daddy!!!" she says.

"No suck, no truck", Daddy says.

"Oh ok....." and she gets on her knees and starts sucking Daddy's cock.

" Eeyuuuuu Daddy your cock tastes like shit!!!!"

"Oh I forgot, your brother's got the truck"



Rim Shot!

[Five Inch Taint]

A Jewish guy and an Irish guy are waliking down the street. They walk by this really hot chick. The Irish guy looks at the Jewish guys and says " We should fuck her!" and the Jewish guy says " Fuck her out of what?"

What's the worst thing about eating hairless pussy?
Taking off the diaper.

Why were there so many Jews at Auschwitz?
The train ride was free

[beandog1983]

I'm voting for Obama in the election this year...he says he's damn sure he can't fix the economy but he is pretty sure he can nigga rig it.

[Glen Quagmire]

A man is talking to a doctor about the condition of his wife. She was in a bad car accident. The Dr. tells the man that he is going to have to give constant care to his wife; cleaning her, changing diapers, feeding her, because she will be bed ridden for the rest of her life.

The man looks in horror at the Dr. and says that he will be able to do all of those things because he loves his wife and wouldnt have it any other way.

The Dr. looks at the man and says......."I'm just fucking with you......she's dead."

[mhump23]

Little Boy comes home from school one day. Mommy asks what did you do today in school?

Little boy says I had sex.

Mom is horrified and tells him to go upstairs and wait for his father to come home.

When Dad gets home, the mother tells him what the little boy said. Feigning anger and concern he says he'll go upstairs and take care of the situation.

As Dad goes upstairs he is beaming with pride that his son is becoming a chip off the old block.

He goes in and talks to his son....

"So Mommy tells me you had sex today."

"Yes sir"

Well......are you going to do it again tomorrow?"

"I don't think so."

"Well why not?"

"Because my butt still hurts...."

[Glen Quagmire]

Q: What was the best thing about the Million Man March?
A: Only three of them missed work.

Q: Why did the jews wander in the desert for 40 years?
A: Someone dropped a quarter.

Q: Did you hear about the jewish child molester?
A: He hid in the bushes and said, "Hey little girl, wanna buy some candy?"

Q: Did you here about Ku Klux Knievel?
A: He tried to jump 100 blacks in a steam roller.

Q: What's the difference between Bigfoot and a hard working black?
A: They have pictures of Bigfoot.