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  #501  
Old 03-17-2010, 12:06 PM
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MrGoutHimself MrGoutHimself is offline
Would you like some making fuck, berzerker!
 

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MrGoutHimself ain't your mother fucking puppet, fool!MrGoutHimself ain't your mother fucking puppet, fool!MrGoutHimself ain't your mother fucking puppet, fool!MrGoutHimself ain't your mother fucking puppet, fool!MrGoutHimself ain't your mother fucking puppet, fool!MrGoutHimself ain't your mother fucking puppet, fool!MrGoutHimself ain't your mother fucking puppet, fool!MrGoutHimself ain't your mother fucking puppet, fool!MrGoutHimself ain't your mother fucking puppet, fool!MrGoutHimself ain't your mother fucking puppet, fool!MrGoutHimself ain't your mother fucking puppet, fool!MrGoutHimself ain't your mother fucking puppet, fool!MrGoutHimself ain't your mother fucking puppet, fool!MrGoutHimself ain't your mother fucking puppet, fool!
MrGoutHimself ain't your mother fucking puppet, fool!MrGoutHimself ain't your mother fucking puppet, fool!MrGoutHimself ain't your mother fucking puppet, fool!MrGoutHimself ain't your mother fucking puppet, fool!MrGoutHimself ain't your mother fucking puppet, fool!MrGoutHimself ain't your mother fucking puppet, fool!MrGoutHimself ain't your mother fucking puppet, fool!MrGoutHimself ain't your mother fucking puppet, fool!MrGoutHimself ain't your mother fucking puppet, fool!
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Anyone here ever "cook off" a live grenade? That's exhilaration!
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  #502  
Old 03-17-2010, 02:32 PM
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cmetz: (v) - To not just fuck shit up, but fuck it into oblivion!
 

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not gay or into guys so that's not happening but i do love me some asian women
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  #503  
Old 03-17-2010, 08:55 PM
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I can say Jap cuz I am a Jap! ...Jap jap jappity jap.lol
 

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Old 03-23-2010, 09:53 AM
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  #505  
Old 03-23-2010, 01:38 PM
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Default American Mensa's ?Top 50?

American Mensa's ?Top 50?
Web Sites 2010


American Mensa members across the country cast and recast their votes, winnowing down a list of more than 280 member-suggested sites to 100 and finally to the final 50. We are proud to display them here.

Which game site made the Top 50? Where do Mensans get their news and their online laughs? Did BubbleWrap beat out Google? Find out below...

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  #506  
Old 03-23-2010, 10:24 PM
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March 22, 2010
The shocking truth about a fundamental right being denied to 55% of citizens
M Allen Fritsch

There is a fundamental right being denied 55% of all Americans. This denial costs over 16,000 lives per year, meaning more than 44 of our fellow Americans will die every day that we delay. What should be done in light of these shocking figures?

Using the example set by President Obama and the Congressional Democrats, there is only one answer: Universal Gun Care for every American. Surely a right outlined in the Bill of Rights (2d Amendment) is just as important as a right NOT found the Constitution (Health Care).

Bonus, it should be easier to implement. After all, gun dealers and manufacturers are ready and willing to help solve the problem. Unlike the evil insurance companies, gun dealers don't want to take your weapon away from you when you most need it. Nor will they deny selling you a weapon simply because you haven't purchased one in the past (i.e. a pre-existing condition).

? Conventional estimates state that 45% of all US households own a firearm. This leaves at least 55% of all Americans "uncovered."
? In 2008 there were 16,272 murders in the USA. How many of those could have been prevented if the victims had been able to protect themselves?

My proposal is a modest one:

? Mandate for every American to purchase a gun or be provided one by their employer (children under the age of 26 can share a weapon with their parents)
? Tax credits to offset the cost of purchase (for those making less than $250,000 per year and everyone in Nebraska)
? For those that can't afford it, a grant or subsidy to purchase a weapon (union members can get two weapons subsidized before 2018)
? Funding for a series of community based gun dealers/clinics and firing ranges (especially in under-served urban and rural areas)
? Monthly ammunition benefit so that no one has to choose between feeding their kids, paying the rent, or buying a box of .38 special cartridges

Contact your representative today. The time to act is now.


M Allen Fritsch is an entrepreneur and business owner. He is a graduate of the United States Military Academy and a former Army officer. His household is one of the 45%.
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  #507  
Old 03-24-2010, 12:44 AM
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^^ Sounds reasonable to me.
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  #508  
Old 03-24-2010, 07:33 AM
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Old 03-24-2010, 01:37 PM
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  #510  
Old 03-24-2010, 07:25 PM
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Default Worst possible "date" ever...I don't even... FML (serious)

Alright...I don't care if you guys believe me ... it's real. This is the the most embarassing thing that I've ever experienced... it was a horrible night for me.. and I'm sharing it with you guys because I don't want any of my misc brahs to have to go through this.. especially since it all could have been EASILY prevented. I have added MS paint images so that you have a better idea as to what happened. It's very long, but I'll do my best to recount all of the important details. no ****ing cliffs..... read it to save yourself from something like this...

Anyway...
If you've been following my social anxiety thread you would have learned that I got an asian girls number during my last update (the encounter wasn't recorded unfortunetely because my Camera froze). But anyway, it's been over a week and I was feeling like taking a break from exam studying, and I figured that if I didn't call her before exams were done then I wouldn't get a chance to see her until after the break (which would be too long perhaps). So I called her up and asked her if she wanted to take a break from studying and meet me for coffee. Well she said yes, and we met at a campus cafe. We had some small talk, and it went well overall. After that she said "hey my roomate is making some chinese food for dinner because her boyfriend is over, would you like to come by and try some? she usually makes way more than needed". Now at that point I felt like I had to take a sh!t, but there was no way I could turn down this opportunity; it seemed like she was into me and this would be a great opportunity to get to know each other further. So I decided to try and hold my crap as long as possible (I don't crap in public toilets) and accept her invitation.

Well we went back to her place, had some food (very good btw)... and ****... I had to take take a sh!t really badly... and I also had to take a piss really badly (I had been holding that too since I didn't bring my pee bottles with me to the date)... I really didn't want to use her washroom because I didn't want stink the place up... but it became so unbearable to the point where I could feel the turd popping out of my rectum.. to make matters worse I was actually starting to get an erection (I'm not sure why.. but that's what happened). So I rushed to the washroom... and thus begins the worst possible scenario imagineable.



I pull down my pants step up to the toilet and I am then faced with an ominous predicament; I have to extremely badly take BOTH a pee AND a POO.... AND I have an erection.... what the **** do I do? Which do I do first??






So I bend over and try to push my erected penis down a bit to pee into the can... but as I relax my pelvic floor muscles to release the urine.. I feel my turd start to come out at the same time!








So then I'm like "fuk this... I'll just try and hold the pee and let the poo come out"... so I sit on the can... grasp my penis hard to try and "block" it... and I then tried to let the crap come out....that didn't work so well...

As I relaxed my anal sphincters... my pelvic floor muscles relaxed as well and piss started flying all over the floor... I started panicking at this point... so I desperately held my crap again, while I attempted to shove/bend my erect penis into the toilet. Once it was in... I tried take the piss and crap at the same time, but my ass was too far out and this massive turd started flying out missing the bowl, landing partially on the back rim and partially on the floor.










I then closed everything off again (you can't imagine the pain of repeatedly blocking yourself from peeing and pooing when you have go so badly)... wtf was I supposed to do? I either pee on her floor or poo on her floor....then out of sheer desperation and instinct an idea popped into my head:







I ran into her bathtub and let myself go there... I figured that at least this way I could rinse it all down instead of getting sh!t on her floor....








At that point things get even worse...





The turd wouldn't ****ing dissolve... and the damn bish was asking me wtf I'm doing showering in her washroom....

I then answer "yea lol... I'm showering... is that ok?"...

she says: what the hell? why?? you don't think we're having sex do you???

At this point I can't even think straight and I jokingly (retardedly) say: yes we are lol

she then gets mad and says: wtf? is this some kind of joke... get out of there!!

I say: no please don't come in... I'm not done yet...

At this point the hot water I was using to try and dissolve my sh!t was releasing sh!t smelling vapours all over the room.. and it was pretty rancid... the girl could smell it and she said: "why the hell does it smell so ****ing bad? What the hell are you doing in there???"

I say: please don't come in... trust me.. you'll regret it...

she says: **** this... get out now or I'm unlocking the door..

I beg her not too... but she loses her patience and then opens the door. She stops dead in her tracks. There before her was me standing with a pseudo-erect penis, left over fecal residue on my ass,large semi dissolved turds in her bathtub, turds on the floor beside her toilet, and pee all over the floor in front of the can... I was so ****ing embarassed... I started shivering... she looks at me while covering her mouth and nose and whispers... "wtf did you do???"...she was starting to cry... I hesitate for a bit and I try to explain myself "I tried my best ... I... I'm sorry"... She then flips out and tells me to clean up the mess or she's calling the cops. I agree to do it.

She leaves, and I grap some toilet paper... pick up the turds from the floor and bathtub, toss them in the can, and then I proceed to clean off the floor and bathtub with soap, water and alot of tissues. I tossed most of the tissues into her toilet bowl (the garbage was full eventually). I then took some perfume from the counter and tossed into the bathtub to get rid of odour. After I was done I cleaned my ass off and flushed the toilet. To my utmost dismay, my massive fecal matter bulk and the large amount of TP unded up clogging the toilet and it overflowed and started spilling crap all over the floor... I'm literally crying at that point... I look for the plunger but I couldn't find it so I put my pants on and rushed out to ask her if she had a plunger so I could fix the toilet...I see her with her roommate and her roommates bf... she's crying... as soon as she sees me she tells me to gtfo right now... I try to explain that the toilet is clogged... but she doesn't let me ... she says she feels threatened and she wants me out now... she graps a knife from the drawer and tells me to leave... I leave.

about a minute later I hear this loud scream coming from her dorm room (I assumed she went back to the washroom to see it covered in poo water). At that point I sprinted away as fast as possible, while swearing at myself and crying tears of frustration and embarrasment.










All of this could have ****ing been prevented if I had just brought my goddamn pee bottles!!! WTF?!?! The FIRST girl that shows interest in me.. I have to go and **** in her bathtub???? This is ****ing retarded (yes mad).

to all you people saying "peeing in bottles is stupid/gross"... well **** that... not only is it more convenient and cleaner, but it also prevents epic disaters like this one....

This is what WOULD have happened if I had my trustee pee bottle... I would have on sat on the can and then simultaneosly peed into the bottle and pooed into the toilet. No disaster... no mess.... and none of this would have happened.




anyway... should I let things cool off for a bit and call her back? maybe to apologize/explain myself? or should i just hope I never run into her again?
Last edited by Malodrax; 12-11-2009 at 11:32 PM.

link to the actual post from bodybuilding.com
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