Why do people get married? whats the point? - The Drunken stepFORUM - A place to discuss your worthless opinions

RvP · #1 05-15-2008, 09:39 AM

Following on from the why do people have kids? thread, i thought id pose the question of why do people get married? i mean one of my friends just got married, and i went to the wedding and everything, and for the few days it lasted, it was pretty cool, but that was last September and now he has a wife and is tied to her for the rest of his life if he doesn't want to lose 50% of everything he has, so what i was thinking is, why actually bother with all that shit? because i mean there really is no difference in getting married or just living together like goldie hawn and kurt russle do. Which makes me think that either i have to be in the situation myself to see what the draw is, or that it is a women thing who like to get married for a bit of security?

either way, at the end of the day you only get a ring out of it and she gets a new surname, so i dont get the whole marriage thing but maybe its just me? im interested to find out

amylikewhoa · #2 05-15-2008, 09:42 AM

idk but i know all i want is to get married and have babies

SexyLion · #3 05-15-2008, 09:51 AM

There is something comforting in knowing that there is someone at home I can be myself around (mostly). She won't think me gross and will sleep with me even if I fart. So I think that is it.

As for the kids, well, I was in it for the sex and hoping for a puppy, but I ended up with the kids instead.

sportster · #4 05-15-2008, 10:31 AM

You're essentially right. If two people are in a committed relationship, there is really no reason for marriage. However, society has put forward the requirement of a marriage to "legitimize" things - children, family insurance policies, joint tax returns, etc. Also, some people want the legal commitment. It's much harder to leave after a small fight if you know you are going to lose half of what you own. It forces people to work out problems and either compromise or learn to live with them.

Loki · #5 05-15-2008, 12:13 PM

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It's funny that in a lot of states even being in a relationship for an exrtended period will put you in the same position. Freind of mine I work with has been going to court for almost three years because of physco bich he went out with for a couple of months?!?!!?
Sometimes I think people sit around trying to think of new laws to pass just to fuck someone else!

Randal Graves · #6 05-15-2008, 12:41 PM

It's purely about social control & economics. Married people are more stable and they also spend more money. If you're married with a mortgage you can't just quit your job and disappear whenever you like. Stable people are good for society as a whole so these social controls are put into place through generations of brainwashing. This bullshit starts when we're little kids and it's so ingrained into our culture that people just do it because they don't want to be the only ones who aren't married.

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Society has also convinced women that babies and marriage are the only way to be complete. It's pretty hard to find a woman who hasn't been dreaming of her wedding day since she was 10 yrs old. Even the ones who won't admit it because they don't want to look weak still dream about it. That puts a lot pressure on guys to "do the right thing" and make the long term commitment.

goonarms · #7 05-15-2008, 01:04 PM

I think there are some like 1400 things that a married couple can get or do that non married couples can't

binary_jester · #8 05-15-2008, 01:09 PM

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Married filing jointly vs single.

amylikewhoa · #9 05-15-2008, 01:13 PM

i just starting wanting to get married

retlok · #10 05-15-2008, 01:24 PM

Tax incentives, better financial aid, preferential job placement, better consideration for joint loans, insurance benefits from jobs, increased wages (as in the military), visitation rights (as in prison and hospital emergencies), social standing (most American's don't consider you to be a full adult until you are married), longer life span (statistically speaking), legal rights (can't be compelled to testify against a spouse.

There are a lot of carrots dangling out there to get married if you're in a commited relationship. Randal lists the Marxist theory for marriage, and I'm inclined to agree with him on that count.

At one point, I didn't think there was much purpose for marriage. Lately though... I guess I think that if you tie yourself to someone else (having kids, buying a house or cars, supporting each other through school or what not), then a divorce is not significantly more difficult form of breaking up anyway, and being married does give you a lot of advantages in the world. Not romantic or necissarily right, but just how shit works.