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  #11  
Old 11-04-2009, 10:37 PM
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Tablefor5 Tablefor5 is offline
A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished.
 

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I never have! Knowing my luck the one time I would, I would end up getting busted by a fucking sting. Plus I hate glitter
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Random credits are almost as good as random rimjobs. You don't wanna ask for it, but if the opportunity arises, fucking go for it!!!
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  #12  
Old 11-05-2009, 02:45 AM
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redmosquito redmosquito is offline
i live with my mom and have never seen a vagina
 

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That's gotta be enough votes....spill the beans Pred!!
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  #13  
Old 11-05-2009, 07:11 AM
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Predator24 Predator24 is offline
I'm here to chew bubble gum and suck some dick, and I'm all out of bubble gum
 

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Hookers don't wear glitter, strippers do and YES there is a difference.

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I am now going to recount my first, of many experiences at an Asian massage parlor. The escorts and teenage coke whore hookers come in time.

I was living in my first apartment in a Navy town. There were 3 strip bars in town. None were of high class quality but the girls were just hot enough to get you to want to fuck something you know could be a little dangerous.

I drink my quota of beers to make you stagger but not fall down. I have about $20 left in my pocket and since lapdances are counter productive and a scam I leave the place around 2am. I have driven past the 2 local Japanese massage parlors every day for the last month but have never been in one. I have an extra $100 in my bank account doing nothing so I hit the ATM and pull n2 one (pun intended).

A small sign next to the door lists the hours of operation as OPEN 24hrs/day and a little frightening is another sign that say's "Ring buzzer". The door latch clicks and I go through 3 separate doors into what looks like a living room with a couple couches and about 3 exercise bikes and treadmills and one nautilus machine. No one is in this room and it is lit with very dim lighting but there is a counter with a receptionist. She's fucking smokin hot so I'm getting psyched for this!

Next to her is a sign listing two services and prices.

The services are the same except for the length of time.
-Shower
-Sauna
-Massage
30 mins $50
60 mins $100

Never been to one of these places I select the 30 minute deal. The receptionist opens the door nect to the counter and walks me into the back. Now I meet another woman who could be in her mid to late 50's and asks me a couple questions like if I have ever been here before and what service I am looking for. No big deal to me so she walks me into a room with sexy mood lighting that looks almost like a Doctors exam room with a twin bed size massage table in it, a couple tables with massage oils, towels, a stereo playing soft jazz and a clear plastic pouch/bag. The old lady asks for the money, tells me to undress, put on the towel and place my valuables in the plastic pouch thing. She tells me that my girl will be in in a few minutes.

I'm all set in like 90 seconds and hear some asian talking out in the hallway then she walks in. She has a pretty face and is wearing a very short silk robe that could double as lingerie. She compliments me on my physique and asks me which package I selected (again). I just go with the flow because I don't want to get arrested or beaten up but a ninja hiding in the back as their bodyguard.

We go to the back where there is a huge shower room and there is a table in the middle of the room. She has a removeable shower head and sprays warm water on the table and sprays me a bit and giggles. Maybe she's trying to get me to relax since I probably look a little nervous and they don't know me as a regular (yet). She walks over to me, puts her face right next to my ear and asks me to take my towel off. I do and she tells me to lay on the table face down..........

I'll tell the second part later if a few on here want to hear it.
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Apparently it does not, asswipe. 20,002

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  #14  
Old 11-05-2009, 07:22 AM
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This is the Thunderdome, so suck my tiny e-dick motherfucker!!!!!
 

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^^^ "face down"? I'm not sure I want to hear the rest...
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  #15  
Old 11-05-2009, 07:48 AM
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Predator24 Predator24 is offline
I'm here to chew bubble gum and suck some dick, and I'm all out of bubble gum
 

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The fuck Boonie???
You're not scared of what "appears" to be a sexy asian chick who is asking me to lie down on a table face down in some strange Yakuza controlled massage parlor???

Since you are voting NO for me to continue, I'll wait to see if anyone else agrees with you.

No harm, no foul.
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Apparently it does not, asswipe. 20,002

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  #16  
Old 11-05-2009, 08:01 AM
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This is the Thunderdome, so suck my tiny e-dick motherfucker!!!!!
 

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LOL, the guts you had to lie face down, not knowing if you'd be suddenly raped anally by n2, while he screamed, GODZIRRA!!!!
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  #17  
Old 11-05-2009, 08:07 AM
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Predator24 Predator24 is offline
I'm here to chew bubble gum and suck some dick, and I'm all out of bubble gum
 

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Well WTF dude???
No guts, no glory!!!!!

I was watching the Yankees last night with my wife and when Matsui hit the HR and then then double I started saying that all n2 like and she thought I was nuts. Later in the game while we are having sex, I yelled it again as I was cumming all over her chest.
GODZIRRA!!!!
GODZIRRA!!!!
GODZIRRA IS CUMMING!!!!


(I need some fucking help)
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you need to find a new dealer
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Apparently it does not, asswipe. 20,002

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  #18  
Old 11-05-2009, 08:33 AM
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This is the Thunderdome, so suck my tiny e-dick motherfucker!!!!!
 

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Hiroshima Cum Bomb FTMFW!
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  #19  
Old 11-05-2009, 10:15 AM
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MrGoutHimself MrGoutHimself is offline
Would you like some making fuck, berzerker!
 

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Damn man, way to leave a guy with half a stalk. And I've got a meeting in 5 minutes with the hot-to-trot call floor director here and I'm going to go in flying my flag. Thanks! Where's the rest? Where's the fucked-up pay-off, I know one's coming....
-SRD
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All Hail the Return of whoever-they-are...

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  #20  
Old 11-05-2009, 10:28 AM
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This is the Thunderdome, so suck my tiny e-dick motherfucker!!!!!
 

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^^^ he rike happy ending
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