"Corporate accounts payable, Nina speaking. Just moment." -- OFFICE STORIES

Corporate accounts payable, Nina speaking. Just moment. Corporate accounts payable, Nina speaking. Just a moment. Corporate accounts payable, Nina speaking. Just a moment. Corporate accounts payable, Nina speaking. Just a moment. Corporate accounts payable, Nina speaking....
--Office Space



Post your office horror stories or your office funny stories or your office whore stories.

I, myself, have never worked in an office cubicle farm type of setting so i don't have many stories to tell. The closest I came to that was when I worked post production for CBS, we had a cubicle area on the first floor that was for the accounting and advertising sales people. We also had a small cubicle area on the second floor where the producers had their desks but I had my own office/editing suite so i didn't have to mingle too much with them.

At one point our Programming Director decided to start a new morning show so he embarks on this long, exhaustive search for a female show host. Soon he finds a tall, blonde, former CNN correspondent (complete with NFL ex-husband) to host the show. So she moves in and gets her own office and she's as shallow and vapid as you'd expect from a reporter from E! entertainment not CNN. She refuses to have fluorescent lights in her office so she goes to IKEA to buy lamps for her office... this is a show host that had a 6 figure salary, mind you. She leaves these lamps on 24/7, even when she leaves for the day. One of the lamps shorted or something and started a small fire in her office at the end of the 1st week. The fire hadn't grown enough to trigger the fire alarm but someone saw it and put it out with a fire extinguisher. The cleaning crew cleaned it up but i guess there was a smoky smell that she couldn't get rid of and she complained and complained about it. She was a dumb bitch anyways. They replaced her in the second season.

TL;DR
Stupid morning show host bought cheap IKEA lamps that started a fire and then complained that her office smelled like smoke.

[MrGoutHimself]

I have many of these kinds of stories to tell. I won't bore you all with a long-winded one but here's a favorite of mine from recently (a lot of these center around my stupid-ass manager who says things like "that's the cherry on the cake" or "let's put another socket next to the wrench" while trying to drum up team morale because he's a former Air Force douche who knows none of us need his supervision).

Here's a great example of the kind of shit I get:

Last week on Friday I get an email asking me if I can begin moving one part of a team into the new call floor area that is being built for them. They want the first part of the team to move in before the 8th of July. Here's the kicker, the client requires a locked area and although the doors are hung, none of the electronics are even up yet. On top of that, they're doing final certifications on a new hire class, and my co-worker is out of the office all week. SURE! I'd love to move a bunch of PCs and phones and shit to an area that you can't even inhabit because the team's supervisor is going on vacation and no one else on your team of fat lazy stupid computer-illiterate supervisors wants to sit on the other end of the building!

[MrGoutHimself]

Holy shit, the little ass-kisser that drives me nuts just said "documentating" in our weekly department conference call.

Content, Pictures  and Download links visible to registered users only. 

REGISTER NOW to access all areas that are invisible to non-members.

I'm gonna bust your balls here, cuz I'm pretty sure there is a bitch aboot your job thread. Also, bitching is unattractive. Luckily, massive amounts of hairless chest flesh make up for it.

[n2tattoos.lol]

Overheard: "You shouldn't turn off your computer cuz you can't receive email then. And don't turn off your phone either."

[MrGoutHimself]

Content, Pictures  and Download links visible to registered users only. 

REGISTER NOW to access all areas that are invisible to non-members.

Maybe so, but I thought it was a funny story because he said "documentating."

[smellypigsbutt]

glad I'm unemployed dont miss any of these things

[MrGoutHimself]

Content, Pictures  and Download links visible to registered users only. 

REGISTER NOW to access all areas that are invisible to non-members.

Shut the fuck up. Always some white boy gotta invoke the holy "unemployment."