1, because I plan on having a couple of smokes and I assume that my eyes wont react naturally if I am high - you wouldn't go to an eye exam drunk either.
2, because I am meeting my Dad for the first time in a few years after I basically ran away from home. The meeting is 30mins after the eye test was booked so I would be too stressed out. Its also the reason I need to smoke a J today! We are going to go see Public Enemies at the cinema, hopefully it wont be extremely awkward but I dont see how it could be anything else.
Thank god for us bitter sacks of emotionless fucks. We are legendz!
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Back up in your ass with the resurrection
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The ultimate answer: because I was taking a shit. I dare you to find a situation where this doesn't work. Why were you speeding? I almost shat on myself. Why were you late to your wedding? I was here, I just had to shit. Why weren't you on the conference call? I didn't want you to have to hear me shit. Is there anything shit can't do?
the iPod pirate... Argggh! .. WAIT, don't get me wet!
Join Date: Sep 2007
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I've got a situation where that excuse doesn't work: Basic Training. When I was in Army basic, we got the call to get into formation. One of my buddies was taking a shit and was late getting where he was supposed to be. The drill sergeant took no excuses. He said that if you were shitting when formation was called you shit yourself on the way to formation. Of course, it's a no win situation because if you show up with pants full of dookie, you were in for it anyway. The sergeants called him Turdboy for weeks.
There's nothing more exhilarating than pointing out the shortcomings of others, is there?
Join Date: Sep 2007
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the best part about my job is that no one even cares enough to come up with an excuse. a e-mail or text that says "I won't be in today" is all the excuse I need.
There's nothing more exhilarating than pointing out the shortcomings of others, is there?
Join Date: Sep 2007
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fuck 'em. everyone i work with is either too retarded or too busy trying to get away with their own shit to care what anyone else does. i think it would take several hours before anyone noticed i wasn't at work even if i didn't bother to call in.