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Old 07-30-2008, 09:30 AM
artaco artaco is offline
i have seen a vagina, and it was expensive
 

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Default Are you an alcoholic?

These test questions are used by Johns Hopkins University Hospital, Baltimore, Maryland, USA in deciding if a patient is an alcoholic or not.

Check off Yes or No after each question then add your score at the bottom. Yes No
1. Do you lose time from work due to drinking?
2. Is drinking making your home life unhappy?
3. Do you ever drink because you are shy with other people?
4. Is drinking affecting your reputation?
5. Have you ever felt remorse after drinking?
6. Have you ever gotten into financial difficulties as a result of drinking?
7. Do you turn to lower companions and an inferior environment when drinking?
8. Does your drinking make you careless of your family's welfare?
9. Has your ambition decreased since drinking?
10. Do you crave a drink at a definite time daily?
11. Do you want a drink the next morning?
12. Does drinking cause you to have difficulty in sleeping?
13. Has your efficiency decreased since drinking?
14. Is drinking jeopardizing your job or business?
15. Do you drink to escape from worries or trouble?
16. Do you drink alone?
17. Have you ever had a complete loss of memory as a result of drinking?
18. Has your physician ever treated you for drinking?
19. Do you drink to build up your self confidence?
20. Have you ever been to a hospital or institution on account of drinking?
TOTAL

Results

If you answered yes to ONE of the above questions you may be an alcoholic.

If you answered yes to TWO of the above questions, you are an alcoholic.

If you answered yes to THREE or more of the above questions, you definitly are an alcoholic.


I think this is ridiculous. Who ISN'T an alcoholic?
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  #2  
Old 07-30-2008, 09:35 AM
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Shasturbator Shasturbator is offline
jesus got drunk and molested me
 

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I answered yes to three....WTF?!?!

I'm not an alcoholic.....alcoholics go to meetings
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Old 07-30-2008, 09:37 AM
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SexyLion SexyLion is offline
Good grief! The comedian's a bear!
 

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Hi, my name is Lion, I like single malt scotch, and good small batch beer....and according to that damn list, I am a achomaholic!!!
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  #4  
Old 07-30-2008, 09:42 AM
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BigMac63 BigMac63 is offline
So for an extra value woody, put this BigMac into that Quarter-Pound pussy, yes!
 

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I fixed a few minor items to make this more relevant.

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I score a 17 on this version, 0 on the previous one!
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  #5  
Old 07-30-2008, 09:44 AM
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Bam-Bam Bam-Bam is offline
Bam Bam is hittin that! imgbox
 

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Bam-Bam is the Mack Daddy of reputation.Bam-Bam is the Mack Daddy of reputation.Bam-Bam is the Mack Daddy of reputation.Bam-Bam is the Mack Daddy of reputation.Bam-Bam is the Mack Daddy of reputation.Bam-Bam is the Mack Daddy of reputation.Bam-Bam is the Mack Daddy of reputation.Bam-Bam is the Mack Daddy of reputation.Bam-Bam is the Mack Daddy of reputation.Bam-Bam is the Mack Daddy of reputation.Bam-Bam is the Mack Daddy of reputation.Bam-Bam is the Mack Daddy of reputation.
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Damn! I'm an alcoholic and a DSF addict!!
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  #6  
Old 07-30-2008, 09:58 AM
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Shasturbator Shasturbator is offline
jesus got drunk and molested me
 

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oh gee....thanks mac....now I feel bad
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  #7  
Old 07-30-2008, 10:00 AM
Omaplata Omaplata is offline
i have seen a vagina, and it was expensive
 

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That survey is bogus.
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Old 07-30-2008, 10:18 AM
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Fundamentals are a crutch for the talentless
 

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Haha, I like Mac's version of the test.
  #9  
Old 07-30-2008, 10:57 AM
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Marie-Eve Martinez Marie-Eve Martinez is offline
I am Jack's wasted life.
 

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It's funny cause I am having some (minor) health issues to do frequent drinking and when the doctor was evaluating me, he was asking me how often I drank (at my heaviest 6 drinks a night/4 nights a week).

He said that is basically the point where you are a functioning alcoholic, at which point I told him that frequency and amount is about the same, or more, for most people I know. Dude was STUNNED.
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Old 07-30-2008, 11:21 AM
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Randal Graves Randal Graves is offline
There's nothing more exhilarating than pointing out the shortcomings of others, is there?
 

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That's why you make one big ass drink. Each mixed drink I make is equivalent to 10 shots, but it's only 1 drink so I'm safe.
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