Fucked Up Terminology

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Was browsing Urban Dictionary and found some interesting definitions. Its nice to know that someone took the time to define my standard way of life for the last few years....

Hot Karl

When you shit into a tube sock, then hit someone in the face with it and scream "Hot Karl!"

Yo, your roommate is a dick. Let's hit him up with a Hot Karl tonight.


Donkey Punch

The Donkey Punch is when your engaged in anal sex and when your about to ejaculate you punch the poor little lady in the back of the head so her anal cavity tightens making the orgasm all that more better (for you ofcourse).

I donkey punched Meredith last night, and It was awesome

Boston Redsock

When you donkey punch a chick during anal and when you pull out half her anal cavity is dragged out and it looks like a red or pink sock.

Seagulling
Seagulling is a variation on the sexual practice of bukkake, with the crucial difference that in this case the recipients are unwilling.

One person learns about two people that are going to have sex and works out the location of the aforementioned event. Then he gathers as many guys as possible and packs them into the room where it's going to take place. The guys hide in cupboards, behind curtains - basically, wherever there is a place to hide. Then when the couple look like they're about to finish, everyone runs out and ejaculates all over them and then proceeds to run around them, flapping their arms like birds and making seagull noises.

Mike's friends thought seagulling on him and Susan would be great fun, so they all hid until the time was right.

Angry Pirate

when a woman is giving a man head, he pulls out, and nuts in her eye. Upon doing this, she will let out some sort of grunt of disapproval, and at this point he kicks her in the shin. This poor girl, being pissed and hurt, will hobble after your laughing ass.

dude,i gave your sister an angry pirate, and thats why she's limping a little...(don't ask why she's walking like she has a stick up her ass... thats a whole different story dude.)


Blumpkin
The delicately balanced art of getting your cock sucked while taking a dump.

Morty made frequent trips to the office restroom, but never when the janitor who calls Costa Rica is there, because that janitor like to give Blumpkins.


Rusty Trombone

The act of performing anal cunnilingus while reaching up above the testicles to manually administer quick up and down motions to the penile shaft; resulting in a violent yet pleasant explosion. It is then customary for the female to then give a quick blow into the anus for good luck, the lips blowing into the anus sounds very similar to a trombones sweet melody. This was introduced to the Americas in the late 50's.

While receiving a rusty trombone I lost control of my bowels.


Birmingham Booty Call

Put your woman's cell phone on vibrate, stick it up her ass, and as you are having sex, call her phone, have her shit it out, answer it, and talk dirty to you as you cum on her face.

I met this freak bitch in Alabama, and she intoduced me to the Birmingham booty call.



On another note, I need some sex advice. Can anyone suggest why I am still single???