Friends with Benefits Question

[annahilton]

Am I supposed to pretend to a fwb that he is the only one Im seeing?
Or is the point of friends with benefits that I can be all "yeah I had a date last night," or whatever...

[doubledip]

Meh, i think it varies from relationship to relationship...some of mine were strictly fuck and nothing more...some were like a relationship, without the relationship, just sex but no one else...best thing to do is "ask"...

[PANDAmonium]

I know this seems like a vague, half-assed answer, but it really depends on the guy (or girl, but I'll say guy in this case because I know you're a girl). Use your best judgment, if he seems like he wants more than just sex then don't mention anything about any other dates/guys you have on the side, but if he's obviously just in it for the sex then whatever, divulge as much as you want.

But don't lead the poor guy on if he wants a serious relationship and the feeling isn't mutual. Definitely let him know that your arrangement is strictly casual (if that's what you want) so no one gets screwed over in the end.

In this situation, honesty is the best policy I think. Just make sure there are clear boundaries as far as feelings are concerned.

i agree with panda...although it is a FWB situation, if it has been going on for a while and/or you intend it to, you should definitely talk about what is cool or not. whether we like to admit it or not a FWB is still a relationship between 2 people. not as hardcore as a bf gf one, but a relationship of sorts nonetheless.

[Wandering]

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I wouldn't bring it up.

Only real reason to bring it up is if you end up getting more serious with someone else and are considering the exclusive thing.

Or if you start fucking someone new w/out protection, the FWB deserves to know so he can decide if it's something he wants to risk or not.

But other than that, no reason to bring it up. I'm sure the guy knows he's not the only one, but bringing it up can trigger jealousy even in FWB situations; It's a natural male response to someone else invading your territory, so to speak.

[Jules Winfield]

I'm gonna agree w/ Panda as well. I've been in those relationships before and I always found it easier whip it out and throw it on the table in the beginning. If she likes it she can have it if not punch her in the face and walk out...oh shit wrong story...


Really. Let the dude know that you're in it for physical gratification only. If he's in it for the same, he won't even want to hear any lame stories about whatever you are doing when you aren't suckin' his dick...


Or if you are going to go the literal FWB route, you guys are friends to begin with and you'll just keep being friends who do normal friend-type things together and sex is one of those things. (this is my personal favorite.)


Also if guy/girl becomes a bat-shit crazy clinger, drop that person as fast as you can.

[Randal Graves]

There's no reason for you to rub it in his face how much you enjoyed the other guy's cock you took the previous night. At the same time, if he makes the mistake of asking you can tell him that you fuck other guys while keeping the details to a minimum.

US Military style: Dont' ask, don't tell.

[annahilton]

Well the details are actually that there is one Id like to get serious with and not sure where he is with it and was instructed by a guy friend to leak that Im seeing others but not fucking them to create a sense of competition.

But its fresh with this guy like 2-3 wks fresh and so not sure where its going, he drops the we'll see what happens all the time cause things are going well so whatever i do i definitely want to stay potential gf material.

i dont know. dating is hard. fucking is easier. thats what i found so far in newfound single life. Getting fucked is elementary, liking someone is a whole different can of worms.

Your advice all is good tho and much appreciated. Especially the realness of he doesnt want to hear about blah blah blah what youre doing when youre not sucking his dick. Very true. Thats what suck we like to talk yall dont like to listen. Thats why I suck a mean dick to make up for it.

[Wandering]

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2-3 weeks in is way to early for the GF/exclusive talk for sure.

Hinting that your seeing other guys could have the opposite reaction you are intending. It's bound to trigger a bit of jealousy, but who knows how the guy will react this early.

I can't say how your guy will react, but I can tell you how I did in a similar situation.

I was seeing a girl, and she asked if I was ready to be exclusive after like 1 week to which I said 'not yet'. 2 weeks later she mentioned how she was still dating other people too (as she thought I was). I said 'Cool, have fun' and never asked her out again.

I wasn't 100% into her yet, as we had only been dating for a while so her attempt to force me off the fence worked, just not in the manner she probably wanted. Guy's aren't as blind as you think to the games, and most don't like them.

[admiral]

Isn't friends with benefits all about the sex? There should be no other talk. Hit it and run.