If I was a woman, I would have so many things up my vagina it would be like the junk drawer in the kitchen.
Can opener? Yeah, here.
Bicycle lock key? You want the one that works or the one you have to jiggle?
AA battery? I got one double A. Need any triple-A's?
Bed Bath Beyond coupon? Yeah, but this one's expired.
Wine bottle corks? Take your pick.
Corkscrew? Can't have it, that's my I.U.D. Use the one on the can opener.
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