Thank god for us bitter sacks of emotionless fucks. We are legendz!
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Back up in your ass with the resurrection
Posts: 5,098
Credits: 22,534
Screw it I'll give it a go
Truth: wow I think this should have put this in my secret shame thread. I believe this happened at my 22nd birthday I can't really remember. Me and my homie went out for my birthday and we got really plastered. We go eat at a local taqueria as we're known to do. We start talking shit about whos the bigger man and whatnot. One thing leads to another and I say ha, I'd go fuck a whore right now and this asshole goes "sweet I know where to go" (my gf was at my place at the time). So he takes me to this little dilapidated building that smelled liked sweat, fear, and oddly jasmine. I was sufficiently intoxicated as to the point that I figured it was pulling my chain and this was one of those porn shops we have that outnumber the churches here. So I get nervous but I don't show it thinking what the fuck this is a present I guess. So the asshole says hey, I'll pay you back. "AHA!" I thought because I didn't have any cash and I'm sure these asian whores have probably never even seen a credit card in their home country or on the fishing container that got them here. Bitches had an ATM machine in the back of this armpit of human suffering. So we take care of the money and they lead me to this windowless room that only had red lighting a small cot some torn up carpet and for some ungodly reason mirrors so you can watch your own shame. So yeah this tiny little asian woman walks in towel puts a condom on me and begins to blow me (which I've never understood, why would you blow someone with a condom on? It kinda defeats the purpose) anywho I'm so nervous I'm barely at half mast. So nervous in fact I couldn't even bring myself to finish. So awkward that I ended up FAKING IT with a WHORE just to get her the fuck off me. So there I am with the bluest balls ever, and this woman flips me over and begins to walk on my back. WTF. After all this I go home to my loving gf at the time, shower with a toilet brush and gasoline and softly try to sneak into bed. Ofcoarse she wakes up and wants to give me some bday loving and I'm so backed up I just wanted to go to sleep. Yeah I was/am pretty disgusted with myself and I can never tell anyone.
Thank god for us bitter sacks of emotionless fucks. We are legendz!
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Back up in your ass with the resurrection
Posts: 5,098
Credits: 22,534
I had a good one. But after that confession I'm kind of spent.
Question: What is the most disgusting thing you've done to another human being? EG: Spit in someones beer, fucked in someones bed and left stuff behind, pooped in someone's shower. (I hang out with a strange crowd)
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Once in grade school my friends and I, (we are obviously deranged), gave a kid a swirly in a toilet full of shit. Yes it was funny, and yes we are still friends to this day.
Truth: Have you ever knowingly cheated with a married woman/man?
Swear to God this is true. I fucked 3 married women at the same time. We had gone out to happy hour and gotten a little toasted. They were being a little risque and asking to see my cock, so I told them if we went back to the office and they got naked and licked each other, I would show them my cock. The table got really quiet and then they said okay. We went back, they got naked and 3 straight women proceeded to have their first lesbian experience. It was hot. I then got naked laid down on the floor and let them each take a ride. I had a package of condoms with the delay stuff in them (I use it when I have anal with my wife, just to prolong my pleasure). While one was one I would lick another. When I was about to blow, I got them in a circle and blew it all over their faces and dared them to lick it off. They did. It was hot!!!