The other night I had the lonely bug so I went to this bar. I saw this beautiful girl there. I'm thinking, "She's alone, I'm alone. Why not annoy the shit out of her?" So I walk over, I'm walking, I'm wearing clogs. And I notice she has a black eye, she has a shiner. I'm thinking, "Great. She doesn't listen." So two McNuggets, three beers, and 50 dollars later we're back at my house doing it doggy style. Not that I planned on it, that’s just how she passed out. Thank you slow gas leak.
Dave Attell
__________________ And everything's over when your grandma walks in, "get that dick outta the fish tank! Time for supper!"
Last edited by Five Inch Taint : 01-07-2017 at 04:57 PM.
__________________ "I was going down on a chick who was 7 months pregnant when unexpectedly her unborn baby's tiny hand reached out and grabbed my face!"
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You should try working outside like I do. Left the house at 5:00am and it was 71 degrees. Get off work at 6:00pm and it's effing 50 degrees with a wind chill that feels like 40's!
yuck
heh, heh . . . got up Sunday morning and it's 32 degrees, nearly a 40 degree drop in one day. Fuckin' wild.
It's a bird, it's a plane, no wait even better it's VodkaMan!
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I just realized my Xmas wish of madam boobies was not delivered by Santa. After Xmas and nothing I waited for Hanukah thinking maybe then it would happen nope nothing. Then I figured maybe Kwanzaa nope nothing then. So fuck white Santa,fuck Jew Santa and fuck Black Santa.