World News(Stuff to Discuss) Free For All

[maxbailey]

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Awwww.

[strommsarnac]

Fucking pisses me off that Obama is cutting NASA's budget, the Constellation program and the moon program. The Air Force is freaking pissed as the Constellation lift vehicles were mandated as the only vehicle for military use. He wants to buy lift off foreign powers.

And what pisses me off even more is I lost my fucking job because that bastard cut Federal funding of Education. Now he's going to increase Educational funding by 6.9%, which still won't bring it back to anywhere near what it was before it he cut it last year!

Shifty bastard.

PETA wants Groundhog Day, the robot way

Roboticists in search of a challenge, take note. The group People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals wants to replace the weather-forecasting Punxsutawney Phil of Groundhog Day fame with an animatronic version. Robot followers that we are here at Crave, we're all for an electronic rodent, but we're also pretty sure groundhog bots have a long way to go before they can charm crowds the way little Phil can.

PETA maintains that the animal whose annual February 2 antics portend the duration of winter is mistreated--put on display year-round at the local Pennsylvania library; denied the ability to prepare for and enter yearly hibernation; and forced to endure screaming throngs of thousands, media attention, and human handling.



(Credit: Punxsutawney Groundhog Club) According to legend, if Punxsutawney Phil sees his shadow, six more weeks of winter weather will follow. If he doesn't, expect an early spring. But PETA has had enough of the tradition that dates back to 1886, and believes robotic technology could be the solution.

"If Punxsutawney frees Phil, then the bitter winter that's made him into an unwilling media attraction will end, making way for a sunny spring that everyone can enjoy," PETA writes in a post on its PETA Files blog.

In a letter (PDF) written to the Punxsutawney Groundhog Club and posted on PETA's Web site, animal specialist Gemma Vaughan notes that groundhogs are normally shy animals that "become stressed" when exposed to too much hubbub.

She also notes that "other popular exhibitions have featured robotic penguins and dolphins who swim and communicate just like real animals do, and we think that an animatronic groundhog would similarly mesmerize a crowd full of curious spectators in Punxsutawney.

"Tradition is no excuse for cruelty, and this opportunity would allow Punxsutawney to engage in a futuristic, interactive, versatile, and humane annual event," she writes.

So having seen time and time again that any robot that can be imagined can be created, we'll wait for the engineers of the world to come up with a cute machine version of the sleepy marmot. In the meantime, those who aren't offended by the real-life furry prognosticator can get notified by text message the minute Punxsutawney Phil pops out of his burrow Tuesday. Text "Groundhog" to 247365, the Pennsylvania Tourism Bureau instructs. And yes, standard text messaging rates do apply.

[Predator24]

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You should be able to see this coming a mile away on this one. He can now honestly say that he increased Educational funding by 6.9%. He'll then say some other bullshit how it was the largest single increase to education funding since the invention of moveable type.

[Striker]

Fuck PETA.

[towdog]

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For 364 days, 23 hours, and 58 minutes, that groundhog is treated like a king. Lives in a temperature controlled enclosure, weekly baths, hand fed. He got a better life than a lot of people do right now.

[The Godfather]

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I am a card carrying member of PEOPLE.

[MrGoutHimself]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h_nLi...eature=related

Zelda Rubinstein, the diminutive, child-voiced actress who was somehow able to upstage even the great Craig T. Nelson, died yesterday. The just-over-four-foot actress had a heart attack two months ago and had been hospitalized until her death. In the '80s, she nobly campaigned for both AIDS awareness and the fair treatment of little people.

As of writing this, Wikipedia has still not decided if Rubinstein's death should be considered part of the Poltergeist curse or if a small woman dying of heart attack complications at 76-years-old might just be a regular old person death.

-SRD

[underweardog]

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If you have ever been to Portland, it's like-so? That's all that happened?

[maxbailey]

Bald Eagle Tired Of Everyone Just Assuming It Supports War

THE OREGON WILDERNESS - Frustrated by the widely held assumption that he unequivocally endorses the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq, a bald eagle said Monday that his thoughts on the conflicts were far more nuanced than many Americans might expect.

Speaking to reporters from his nest in the upper branches of a 175-foot ponderosa pine tree, the eagle explained that each member of his species was different and none should be taken for granted as a lockstep supporter of American military policy.

"I think World War II was justified, and I got behind the first Gulf War [in 1990]," said the bird, who has served as the national symbol of the United States since 1782. "But the recent war in Iraq, with its shifting rationale and poor planning, was clearly a huge mistake. Personally, I believe that these crucial, life-and-death matters deserve more honest and less politicized discussion than they get."

"I'm not a hawk or a dove," he added. "I'm an eagle."

The majestic bird of prey, who said he is not registered with any political party, admitted to having some ambivalence about the current mission in Afghanistan, lamenting that any argument one could make seemed to prompt an equally valid counterpoint.

"Sure, I understand the reasoning behind the latest troop surge," the eagle said regarding President Obama's plan to commit 30,000 additional soldiers to the region to combat the Taliban. "Can we allow that country to collapse and become an al-Qaeda safe haven again? That seems like a disastrous outcome to me, but at the same time, maybe our continued presence is just creating more terrorists in the long run. Plus, how can we work with someone as corrupt as [Afghan president] Hamid Karzai and still purport to be champions of democracy?"

"You see, these issues are not so cut and dried," continued the Haliaeetus leucocephalus specimen. "And yet, every time I try to explain myself from atop a flag pole or the middle of a baseball field, no one wants to listen. They just cheer and chant 'U.S.A.! U.S.A! U.S.A.!'"

Sources said the eagle then excused himself and launched into the air with a shrill "skree!" sound, returning three minutes later with a glistening fish in his talons.

"And another thing: We can't forget Pakistan," the eagle said as he used his hooked beak to tear at the flesh of the writhing rainbow trout. "We have to make sure that they're not so preoccupied with India that they neglect the terrorist threats within their own borders. Remember, Pakistan has nukes."

The eagle went on to tell reporters that, despite his attempts to individuate himself from the general public's perceptions of bald eagles, he could ultimately control his image only so much. He also admitted that he still had lingering resentment over the fact that someone had covertly photographed him crying on 9/11 and used the picture on a "Never Forget" dinner plate.

"I really hated being exploited like that," the eagle said. "Of course I cried on 9/11. Everyone did. But I guess that's the burden of being the symbol of a nation: People are going to use you in ways you don't always like. You step out of the nest to clear your head with a few minutes of soaring, and people automatically peg you as some kind of embodiment of American freedom worth killing and dying for."

"And, frankly, that's a little messed up," he added. "I'm just a bird."





Courtesy of The Onion