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  #601  
Old 09-08-2011, 05:34 PM
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TheJuice TheJuice is offline
DON'T even think about reading this book. It is full of lies! LIES I SAY!
 
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TheJuice puts his rep in his pipe and smokes it.TheJuice puts his rep in his pipe and smokes it.TheJuice puts his rep in his pipe and smokes it.TheJuice puts his rep in his pipe and smokes it.TheJuice puts his rep in his pipe and smokes it.TheJuice puts his rep in his pipe and smokes it.TheJuice puts his rep in his pipe and smokes it.TheJuice puts his rep in his pipe and smokes it.TheJuice puts his rep in his pipe and smokes it.TheJuice puts his rep in his pipe and smokes it.TheJuice puts his rep in his pipe and smokes it.TheJuice puts his rep in his pipe and smokes it.TheJuice puts his rep in his pipe and smokes it.TheJuice puts his rep in his pipe and smokes it.TheJuice puts his rep in his pipe and smokes it.
TheJuice puts his rep in his pipe and smokes it.TheJuice puts his rep in his pipe and smokes it.TheJuice puts his rep in his pipe and smokes it.TheJuice puts his rep in his pipe and smokes it.TheJuice puts his rep in his pipe and smokes it.TheJuice puts his rep in his pipe and smokes it.TheJuice puts his rep in his pipe and smokes it.TheJuice puts his rep in his pipe and smokes it.TheJuice puts his rep in his pipe and smokes it.TheJuice puts his rep in his pipe and smokes it.TheJuice puts his rep in his pipe and smokes it.TheJuice puts his rep in his pipe and smokes it.TheJuice puts his rep in his pipe and smokes it.TheJuice puts his rep in his pipe and smokes it.TheJuice puts his rep in his pipe and smokes it.
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A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street. They see a boy walking on the opposite sidewalk. The priest says, "Boy, I'd sure like to screw him!"

The rabbi says, "Out of what?"
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  #602  
Old 09-08-2011, 06:51 PM
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el_victorino el_victorino is offline
The future is unwritten, but I'm illustrating it now.
 

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el_victorino is taking his rep and running.el_victorino is taking his rep and running.el_victorino is taking his rep and running.el_victorino is taking his rep and running.el_victorino is taking his rep and running.el_victorino is taking his rep and running.el_victorino is taking his rep and running.el_victorino is taking his rep and running.el_victorino is taking his rep and running.
el_victorino is taking his rep and running.el_victorino is taking his rep and running.el_victorino is taking his rep and running.el_victorino is taking his rep and running.el_victorino is taking his rep and running.el_victorino is taking his rep and running.el_victorino is taking his rep and running.el_victorino is taking his rep and running.el_victorino is taking his rep and running.el_victorino is taking his rep and running.el_victorino is taking his rep and running.el_victorino is taking his rep and running.el_victorino is taking his rep and running.el_victorino is taking his rep and running.
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My first wife told me one of the reasons she fell for me was this joke, told to her the first time I met her when she was just a brand new college student full of righteous indignation:

Q: How many women does it take to change a light bulb?

(she quietly fumes and gets ready to tear me a new one)

A: One.

(She quietly tries to figure if it's offensive and why, then gets it and likes me)
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  #603  
Old 09-08-2011, 06:52 PM
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Eccles Eccles is offline
I perform ILLUSIONS! "Tricks" are what a whore does for money
 

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Eccles wears his rep gold in a pouch around his neck.Eccles wears his rep gold in a pouch around his neck.Eccles wears his rep gold in a pouch around his neck.Eccles wears his rep gold in a pouch around his neck.Eccles wears his rep gold in a pouch around his neck.Eccles wears his rep gold in a pouch around his neck.Eccles wears his rep gold in a pouch around his neck.Eccles wears his rep gold in a pouch around his neck.
Eccles wears his rep gold in a pouch around his neck.Eccles wears his rep gold in a pouch around his neck.Eccles wears his rep gold in a pouch around his neck.Eccles wears his rep gold in a pouch around his neck.Eccles wears his rep gold in a pouch around his neck.Eccles wears his rep gold in a pouch around his neck.Eccles wears his rep gold in a pouch around his neck.Eccles wears his rep gold in a pouch around his neck.Eccles wears his rep gold in a pouch around his neck.
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Clearly a 'new' college student because that's not actually a joke. But more power to you
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Damn you Eccles! *shakes fist*
Nothing I post is mine
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  #604  
Old 09-09-2011, 06:47 AM
MadamMeow
 

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There are four kinds of sex :

HOUSE SEX - When you are newly married and have sex all over the house in every room.

BEDROOM SEX - After you have been married for a while, you only have sex in the bedroom.

HALL SEX - After you've been married for many, many years you just pass each other in the hall and say "FUCK YOU"

COURTROOM SEX - When your wife and her lawyer fuck you in the divorce court in front of many people for every penny you've got.
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  #605  
Old 09-09-2011, 01:20 PM
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Glen Quagmire Glen Quagmire is offline
2 smileys, 1 cup
  

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Glen Quagmire laughs at your paltry REP totalGlen Quagmire laughs at your paltry REP totalGlen Quagmire laughs at your paltry REP total
Glen Quagmire laughs at your paltry REP totalGlen Quagmire laughs at your paltry REP totalGlen Quagmire laughs at your paltry REP totalGlen Quagmire laughs at your paltry REP total
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My wife says to me the other night, "How come we don't make love like they do in the movies ?"

So I bent her over the table, slapped her on each ass cheek a dozen times, grabbed her by the hair and yanked her neck back so she'd be forced to watch me jackhammer her from behind, then flipped her over and came on her face.

Turns out we don't watch the same movies.
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  #606  
Old 09-09-2011, 01:26 PM
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squeezums squeezums is offline
I haz temp avy!
  

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squeezums said Fuck Yo' Rep Mutha Fucka!
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Why do brides wear white?


The dishwasher should always match the fridge!

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  #607  
Old 09-09-2011, 01:27 PM
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squeezums squeezums is offline
I haz temp avy!
  

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squeezums said Fuck Yo' Rep Mutha Fucka!
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How was copper wiring invented?

Two jews found the same penny!

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  #608  
Old 09-09-2011, 01:30 PM
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squeezums squeezums is offline
I haz temp avy!
  

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squeezums said Fuck Yo' Rep Mutha Fucka!
squeezums said Fuck Yo' Rep Mutha Fucka!squeezums said Fuck Yo' Rep Mutha Fucka!squeezums said Fuck Yo' Rep Mutha Fucka!squeezums said Fuck Yo' Rep Mutha Fucka!squeezums said Fuck Yo' Rep Mutha Fucka!squeezums said Fuck Yo' Rep Mutha Fucka!squeezums said Fuck Yo' Rep Mutha Fucka!
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What would have made "The Million Man" march a complete success?


5 miles of chain and an auctioneer!

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  #609  
Old 09-09-2011, 02:29 PM
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el_victorino el_victorino is offline
The future is unwritten, but I'm illustrating it now.
 

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el_victorino is taking his rep and running.el_victorino is taking his rep and running.el_victorino is taking his rep and running.el_victorino is taking his rep and running.el_victorino is taking his rep and running.el_victorino is taking his rep and running.el_victorino is taking his rep and running.el_victorino is taking his rep and running.el_victorino is taking his rep and running.
el_victorino is taking his rep and running.el_victorino is taking his rep and running.el_victorino is taking his rep and running.el_victorino is taking his rep and running.el_victorino is taking his rep and running.el_victorino is taking his rep and running.el_victorino is taking his rep and running.el_victorino is taking his rep and running.el_victorino is taking his rep and running.el_victorino is taking his rep and running.el_victorino is taking his rep and running.el_victorino is taking his rep and running.el_victorino is taking his rep and running.el_victorino is taking his rep and running.
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No me gusta. This shit wasn't funny when I was twelve. Put some work into it next time.
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  #610  
Old 09-09-2011, 02:46 PM
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MrGoutHimself MrGoutHimself is offline
Would you like some making fuck, berzerker!
 

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MrGoutHimself ain't your mother fucking puppet, fool!MrGoutHimself ain't your mother fucking puppet, fool!MrGoutHimself ain't your mother fucking puppet, fool!MrGoutHimself ain't your mother fucking puppet, fool!MrGoutHimself ain't your mother fucking puppet, fool!MrGoutHimself ain't your mother fucking puppet, fool!MrGoutHimself ain't your mother fucking puppet, fool!MrGoutHimself ain't your mother fucking puppet, fool!MrGoutHimself ain't your mother fucking puppet, fool!MrGoutHimself ain't your mother fucking puppet, fool!MrGoutHimself ain't your mother fucking puppet, fool!MrGoutHimself ain't your mother fucking puppet, fool!MrGoutHimself ain't your mother fucking puppet, fool!MrGoutHimself ain't your mother fucking puppet, fool!
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Marriage is a three-ring circus... you've got the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and then the suffering.
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Breach my ringmeat weirdos.
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