Post your RANDOM thoughts - V1.0 DONE!

[dragosani]

all the candidates suck. same as last time. we get to vote for the lesser of the evils.

[bexxx]

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Ehh at least there's no hillary

[Shasturbator]

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto. The blockage will be almost instantly removed.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3. Avoid arguments with your mom, sister or close female friends about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache.

Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are:
*You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape.
* If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40.
* If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

Remember:
*Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
*Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.
*If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.

Some people are like Slinkies---not good for anything, but still bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs.

[amylikewhoa]

my biggest fear is a liberal america.
i gotta vote mccain now that hillary is out

[roccostiff]

I am tired of the damn heat.. Is that random enough?

[DSF Guest 8]

Why are there locks on 7-11's?

[Yalvulcon]

3. Avoid arguments with your mom, sister or close female friends about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.


Works even better if you use the kitchen sink. Then they dont bitch about you being in the bathroom.

[strommsarnac]

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Hey, that applies to parenting too.

If your kids won't move their ass, spray them with WD-40 and then light a lighter. They're move so fast the flame will blow out.

If your kids is bouncing off walls, duck'em! Then you have peace and quite.

Only don't get the WD-40 in their eyes. Then you'll have to use duct tape because they'll be screaming and bouncing off walls they can't see


Disclaimer: I've never used these methods nor condone their use.

[n2tattoos.lol]

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Strom and Kfed...Fathers of the Year

[Choppie]

Spilling beer on your modem during the weekend sucks balls.