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  #2191  
Old 07-07-2008, 11:55 PM
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amylikewhoa amylikewhoa is offline
AmylikeWHOA! That's what he said
 
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haha i met him last year on my bd and i was so drunk i mispelled his name in my phone and i still havent corrected it. i also told him that to never try to talk to me in public if he saw me again because i wouldnt remember him. and one day he saw me and kept trying to talk to me and i thought he was like so crazy bc i had no idea who he was. now i remember him but dont talk to him bc his daily texts of "wanna bang?" skeeve me out
  #2192  
Old 07-08-2008, 12:06 AM
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Martin Luther Bling Martin Luther Bling is offline
the burning and itching has stopped
 

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Default Traffic Court

I wonder if I go to court in uniform will the judge be more likely to have sympathy on me for speeding.
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  #2193  
Old 07-08-2008, 12:19 AM
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jo_dile jo_dile is offline
I'm rollin with my pistol and my shotty
 

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Im so BORED
  #2194  
Old 07-08-2008, 08:08 AM
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towdog towdog is offline
So special, you feel it in your nuts.
 

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50-50 shot. Either he will and you get off scott-free, or he'll think, "Fuck, this asshole is trying to get sympathy from me. I'm throwing the book at him."
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  #2195  
Old 07-08-2008, 08:26 AM
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Martin Luther Bling Martin Luther Bling is offline
the burning and itching has stopped
 

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Fuck it, I am guilty as all hell anyway. I am just going there in hopes that the damn cop won't show up.
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I have a dream, it involves me, three females, some red hots, a glass of kool-aid, and a squeaky mattress.

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  #2196  
Old 07-08-2008, 08:42 AM
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SexyLion SexyLion is offline
Good grief! The comedian's a bear!
 

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can you burp, sneeze and fart all at the same time? And if you could, would the universe implode?
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  #2197  
Old 07-08-2008, 08:57 AM
DSF Guest 6 DSF Guest 6 is offline
kicked the fuck out
 

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I'm pretty sure that's called an orgasm.
  #2198  
Old 07-08-2008, 09:21 AM
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staroffurby staroffurby is offline
i have seen a vagina, and it was expensive
 

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The force of doing them all at once turns you inside out, not a great sight and so i have been told quite painful.
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  #2199  
Old 07-08-2008, 11:34 AM
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melissa21 melissa21 is offline
i have never seen a vagina, but at least i dont live with my mom
 

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i am so scared of zombies i'm having trouble sleeping.

i used to have reoccurring nightmares when i was young about my house burning down, so i had this big mental escape plan. now it's the same thing, but a zombie escape plan.
  #2200  
Old 07-08-2008, 11:44 AM
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ms. cellany ms. cellany is offline
you play Guitar Hero naked... I play REAL guitar topless!
 

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I used to freak out about the house catching on fire at night when I was little too... I attribute it completely to the fire safety shit they make you do when you're in like second grade- the whole "stop drop and roll", make a fire escape route thing. Totally warped my fragile little mind.
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