Definitely have to start with the right type of porn, nothing too hardcore, no anal domination 12. My girlfriend likes to watch old school porn. Start with something like debbie does dallas. The 70's styles and bad acting make for a fun watch, and then the sex will get her going as you watch.
I kill grownups for fun but for a lollipop, I'm gonna carve him up real nice
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LOL to this whole thread full of n00b angst and lack of nookie. I'm pretty sure that if my lady and I weren't getting it on enough for me that I'd ask a bunch of assholes on an internet forum for advice since they have my best interests at heart and experience in the ways of love. Ha. And I am pretty sure that the solution to all your woes is to show her some porn since everyone knows women with issues discussing their sexual needs and desires turn into rabid fuck bunnies whenever you turn on some hardcore fucking and/or the pizza guy shows up with a delivery.
Just get her drunk, fuck her in the ass and claim to have no idea why her balloon knot hurts the next morning. Make sure you video it and post here so we can see how it works out and grade your woefully inadequate performance. Finally, TOGTFO.
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Last edited by ThatHaole : 07-13-2009 at 12:15 PM.
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I agree 100%. My ex and I were housesitting for my brother, and, while feeling horny, elected to raid his porno collection (which was beyond expansive.) Not really knowing what was what, we grabbed a compilation tape and threw it in. We're there on the couch all snuggled up, when the first thing that comes up (within 3-4 minutes) involves a chick with a half-full champagne bottle up her ass gagging on a giant cock. Needless to say that killed the mood for her, forced me to pretend I didn't want to see where it all was going, and generally wrecked things. The relationship bounced back, but porn was never discussed again.
Though in all fairness I later found gangbang porn with one white chick and 5-6 giant black dudes on her computer. So maybe that was the problem...
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I don't know if the specific site even exists anymore, but I think it might have been westcoastgangbang.com? I just remember instant feelings of inadequacy, which were then eased by the fact that I figured this meant she would take it in the butt. Which she would.
So, now that I think about it, maybe porn was good for the relationship! Just not watching it together.
There's nothing more exhilarating than pointing out the shortcomings of others, is there?
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That's why you need to be more persistent. when she says that, ask to fuck. when she is in the shower, get in with her and try to fuck. if you are either fucking her, trying to fuck her, or resting from fucking her your marriage will be fine. if she complains about the constant sexual harassment, she's just playing hard to get. if she leaves you because of it, she wasn't worth having anyway.