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  #11  
Old 07-13-2009, 08:52 AM
crafty crafty is offline
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Definitely have to start with the right type of porn, nothing too hardcore, no anal domination 12. My girlfriend likes to watch old school porn. Start with something like debbie does dallas. The 70's styles and bad acting make for a fun watch, and then the sex will get her going as you watch.
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  #12  
Old 07-13-2009, 09:26 AM
shithole1 shithole1 is offline
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Not sure if anal fisting and incest would be the most appropriate foray into sex movies... I mean, works for me. But for a real, live woman?
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  #13  
Old 07-13-2009, 11:04 AM
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ThatHaole ThatHaole is offline
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ThatHaole ain't your mother fucking puppet, fool!ThatHaole ain't your mother fucking puppet, fool!ThatHaole ain't your mother fucking puppet, fool!ThatHaole ain't your mother fucking puppet, fool!ThatHaole ain't your mother fucking puppet, fool!ThatHaole ain't your mother fucking puppet, fool!ThatHaole ain't your mother fucking puppet, fool!ThatHaole ain't your mother fucking puppet, fool!
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LOL to this whole thread full of n00b angst and lack of nookie. I'm pretty sure that if my lady and I weren't getting it on enough for me that I'd ask a bunch of assholes on an internet forum for advice since they have my best interests at heart and experience in the ways of love. Ha. And I am pretty sure that the solution to all your woes is to show her some porn since everyone knows women with issues discussing their sexual needs and desires turn into rabid fuck bunnies whenever you turn on some hardcore fucking and/or the pizza guy shows up with a delivery.

Just get her drunk, fuck her in the ass and claim to have no idea why her balloon knot hurts the next morning. Make sure you video it and post here so we can see how it works out and grade your woefully inadequate performance. Finally, TOGTFO.
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Last edited by ThatHaole : 07-13-2009 at 12:15 PM.
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  #14  
Old 07-13-2009, 12:51 PM
Dumptruck Dumptruck is offline
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I agree 100%. My ex and I were housesitting for my brother, and, while feeling horny, elected to raid his porno collection (which was beyond expansive.) Not really knowing what was what, we grabbed a compilation tape and threw it in. We're there on the couch all snuggled up, when the first thing that comes up (within 3-4 minutes) involves a chick with a half-full champagne bottle up her ass gagging on a giant cock. Needless to say that killed the mood for her, forced me to pretend I didn't want to see where it all was going, and generally wrecked things. The relationship bounced back, but porn was never discussed again.

Though in all fairness I later found gangbang porn with one white chick and 5-6 giant black dudes on her computer. So maybe that was the problem...
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  #15  
Old 07-13-2009, 01:06 PM
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Predator24 Predator24 is offline
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And you will be sharing this supposed gangbang porn with us when??????

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  #16  
Old 07-13-2009, 01:16 PM
Dumptruck Dumptruck is offline
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I don't know if the specific site even exists anymore, but I think it might have been westcoastgangbang.com? I just remember instant feelings of inadequacy, which were then eased by the fact that I figured this meant she would take it in the butt. Which she would.

So, now that I think about it, maybe porn was good for the relationship! Just not watching it together.
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  #17  
Old 07-13-2009, 03:39 PM
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ThatHaole ThatHaole is offline
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ThatHaole ain't your mother fucking puppet, fool!ThatHaole ain't your mother fucking puppet, fool!ThatHaole ain't your mother fucking puppet, fool!ThatHaole ain't your mother fucking puppet, fool!ThatHaole ain't your mother fucking puppet, fool!ThatHaole ain't your mother fucking puppet, fool!ThatHaole ain't your mother fucking puppet, fool!ThatHaole ain't your mother fucking puppet, fool!ThatHaole ain't your mother fucking puppet, fool!ThatHaole ain't your mother fucking puppet, fool!ThatHaole ain't your mother fucking puppet, fool!ThatHaole ain't your mother fucking puppet, fool!ThatHaole ain't your mother fucking puppet, fool!ThatHaole ain't your mother fucking puppet, fool!
ThatHaole ain't your mother fucking puppet, fool!ThatHaole ain't your mother fucking puppet, fool!ThatHaole ain't your mother fucking puppet, fool!ThatHaole ain't your mother fucking puppet, fool!ThatHaole ain't your mother fucking puppet, fool!ThatHaole ain't your mother fucking puppet, fool!ThatHaole ain't your mother fucking puppet, fool!ThatHaole ain't your mother fucking puppet, fool!
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I just pissed myself laughing at this.
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  #18  
Old 07-13-2009, 07:53 PM
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Randal Graves Randal Graves is offline
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That's why you need to be more persistent. when she says that, ask to fuck. when she is in the shower, get in with her and try to fuck. if you are either fucking her, trying to fuck her, or resting from fucking her your marriage will be fine. if she complains about the constant sexual harassment, she's just playing hard to get. if she leaves you because of it, she wasn't worth having anyway.
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  #19  
Old 07-13-2009, 07:56 PM
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Goat Gosselin Goat Gosselin is offline
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get in bed with her and put the meat between her legs, the rest will take care of itself

or start jacking off in front of her. it works every time
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  #20  
Old 07-13-2009, 10:05 PM
wags126 wags126 is offline
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Sex God Method!

http://www.drunkenstepfather.com/for...d#p ost257844
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