Q: What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball?
A: Cough, gag, choke, etc.
Q: If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong?
A: Made her chain too long.
Q: A woman of 35 thinks of having children. What does a man of 35 think of?
A: Dating children.
Q: Why did god invent alcohol?
A: So fat women can get laid too.
Q: Why don't blind people skydive?
A: It scares the shit out of the dog.
Q: How do you get a nun pregnant?
A: You fuck her.
Q: What do you call a woman who has lost 97.5% of her intelligence?
A: Divorced.
Q: How do you blind a Chinese person?
A: Put a windshield in front of him.
Q: Why don't men trust women?
A: Would you trust anything that bled for three days and didn't die?
Q: Why do doctors spank babies when they are born?
A: To knock the dicks off the dumb ones.
Q: What's the difference between snot and cauliflower?
A: Kids will eat snot.