According to Yahoo, the top 10 jokes from the Roast of Charlie Sheen
(10) "On 'Two and a Half Men' tonight, they're apparently having a funeral for Charlie's character. But there's no need to switch over. In a few months, you can probably see the real thing." ? Roastmaster and "Family Guy" creator Seth MacFarlane
(9) "I'm 80, you're 46? how come we look like we went to high school together?" ? William Shatner
(8) "William Shatner? I've seen less bloated men fished out of rivers." ? Comedian Amy Schumer
(7) "I read somewhere that Charlie made a prostitute cry. But I don't believe that's true, Charlie. I saw the scene where you got arrested in 'Wall Street.' You can't even make yourself cry." ? Seth MacFarlane
(6) "Mike Tyson has beaten every opponent he's ever faced -- except the letter S." ? Seth MacFarlane
(5) "Jeffrey Ross? usually when I see a face that grotesque, it's after a fight. His performance was so bad, I wish I had bitten my own ears off." ? Mike Tyson
(4) "Charlie, you're the black sheep of a family that produced three 'Mighty Ducks' movies." ? Jeffrey Ross
(3) "It's amazing that after all that damage you've done to your kidneys and liver, the only things you've had removed are your kids." ? "Private Practice" star Kate Walsh
(2) "His nostrils are so snotty and filled with coke, they could be called the Hilton sisters." ? Jeffrey Ross
(1) "Charlie, the only reason you got on TV in the first place is because God hates Michael J. Fox." ? Comedian Anthony Jeselnik
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nah, it's on next monday at 8pm. Those are from Yahoo, so I am sure they just picked the cleanest ones. There will no doubt be far raunchier insults thrown around.
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The older I get, the more of an asshole I become