I kill grownups for fun but for a lollipop, I'm gonna carve him up real nice
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: In Your Mom
Posts: 22,691
Credits: 553,155
Coffin Sex Positions
New! Halloween 2010
There's something thrilling and chilling about the idea of getting nailed in a coffin. Trade your satin sheets for the satin lining of a deluxe casket. If you're a hardcore vampire fan, you might have one of these in your bedroom already - otherwise you might have to sneak into a mortuary. For safety's sake, take the coffin off the embalming table or dais and put it on the floor - you don't want to break your neck and end up in a casket for real.
The Sexorcist
Devils and demons begone! Who knows - if you say "Oh God, " and "Jesus!" enough, you might actually cast out some evil spirits.
Driving in the Stake
Whether or not she's a vampire, she'll be howling with pleasure as you impale her again and again with your wood.
Bride of Frankenstein
With the girl on top, she's angled as if rising from the slab, while the jolts of electrical pleasure emanating from your cock infuse her with life.
Gravedigger's Delight
Grab your ghoul-friend's leg like the handle of a shovel and start digging that hole. The position and angle will help you get in there deeper. Put your back into it!
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RIP Joe TheSNake. You will be missed brother.
I kill grownups for fun but for a lollipop, I'm gonna carve him up real nice
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: In Your Mom
Posts: 22,691
Credits: 553,155
Open Casket Service
Ahhh. Just lay back and get orally serviced. You'll hear the heavenly choir beckoning you to the pearly gates.
What Do You Want on Your Tombstone?
Gravestones won't be the only thing getting erected in this cemetery. A good suck will get him hard as a granite obelisk. The casket lining makes for nice knee cushioning.
One Foot in the Grave
Maybe you're not ready to climb all the way into the coffin. You're a little spooked and want to make a quick getaway in case you get creeped out. So don't get too comfortable. From this angle it looks like she's hurling after seeing a zombie chomp into someone's spleen, but at least she'll be able to run to safety
Gothic Goddess
Kneel and pay homage to the Queen of the Underworld. Balanced on the rails of the casket, it's almost like she's levitating. Light as a feather, stiff as a board!
__________________
RIP Joe TheSNake. You will be missed brother.
I kill grownups for fun but for a lollipop, I'm gonna carve him up real nice
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: In Your Mom
Posts: 22,691
Credits: 553,155
69 Feet Under
Feed your oral fixation and gorge on each other's privates the way the zombies gorge on brains. Mmm, braaaains! OK, maybe not that enthusiastically.
Rigor Mortis
Brace yourself for a bone-shaking ride. Sometimes you have to stiffen up to take a stiff one. Bonus: You'll stretch those hamstrings doing the "downward dog" yoga pose.
The Human Centipede
A disturbing sight, isn't it, their faces glued to each other's crotches, writhing around, with their legs dangling out of the casket. Yeah, we know, this isn't how the folks in the movie were attached, but wouldn't you rather have it this way?
Buried Alive
There are worse ways to go than getting smothered by a beautiful woman's junk. You'll go with a smile on your face as you're ass-phyxiated.
__________________
RIP Joe TheSNake. You will be missed brother.
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You little son of a bitch ball! Why you don't you just go HOME? That's your HOME! Are you too good for your HOME? ANSWER ME! SUCK MY WHITE ASS, BALL!
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You little son of a bitch ball! Why you don't you just go HOME? That's your HOME! Are you too good for your HOME? ANSWER ME! SUCK MY WHITE ASS, BALL!