Hollywood Cock-Up

[Expletive]

To all of yous who'd ask, no I'm not

using Drunkenstepfather to write this

bit, nor am I using an actual Word

processor; that'd be cheating. I'm

using a text editor, and for yous lots

that don't know what that means; I'm

using notepad; Don't feel bad though, I

just got the fucking difference myself

but three four years ago; maybe if I

used the internets for more than porn,

I'd learn a lot of things; and I've been

using the inter webs for fourteen years

now, so you'd think I'd be a bit hipper

to shit by now.


Skeletons is a Scottish production

written and directed by Kevin Whitfield,

and like so many other movies I liked, I

find the thing to be indescribable. But

here goes; it's witty, and incredibly

original, and funny, and cool, and

brilliant, and so very sweet. And

that's about all I can say about

Skeletons. I loved it because it was

very, very good, brilliantly acted,

awesomely shot, incredibly witty, and

because of such a brilliant film, Ican't

wait to move to the Fatherland, aka the

U.K. to have me a little cottage on a

knoll some where and have ten point six

kids with a cockney talking lass who has

crooked stained teeth---paradise.


True Grit stars tracy Lords, Dick

Cheney and your fucking whore of a

mother.

The Warchowski's out did themselves

with this one, even the faggot brother

who isn't necessarily a faggot anymore

but is closer to a THE GAY becoming an

ambiguous thing called a shemale, which

isn't necessarily a man or woman if they

look feminine enough :P, if they still

look mannish then they're THE GAY, but

if not it's okay, I guess. But for

goodness sake, and always remember

kids, letting a shemale fuck you in the

ass, or sucking a shemale's penis will

make you THE GAY, but if they suck you

off, and you shank their bottom then it

isn't, I guess. I also guess you've

sucked your dad's penis as a child, so

let's continue yous faggots.

True Grit is the movie that will give

that guy from Tron and Tron Legacy an

academy award, though I doubt it, since

they'll most likely award it to a

faggot, which is sad because they're

always snubbing THE GAY and the jews,

but they give it to fags and African

skinned people, fucking unfair

hollywood, fucking unfair.

Jonah Hex and THE DUDE out did

themselves and so did Jason Bourne and

the fourteen year old who lost her arm

due to snake bite. When I get some more

money, I'll send a few dimes to both

studios for a tour de force.

Save stargate Universe, please Save

stargate universe, download it, buy the

dvd for season 2 when it's released,

don't buy the first season DVD because

though I hate everyone, I wouldn't put

my worst enemy through that shit.

Season 2 is infinitely better, and

surpassed my expectations.

Fuck me that came out wrong, but I'm so fucking fat and lazy, I can't fix it. What should I do?

[jo_dile]

What.................the fuck...............are you rambling about?

[Expletive]

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Sorry about that Jo, I've been so busy lately, trying to be relevant but ultimately failing like the loser that I am. I just wish i was out there making movies Jo, instead of being home with me mom, and everyone else. A fucking loser I am, but being the hateful loser, I tend to make fun of other stupid movies and concepts.

[Expletive]

A Serbian Film was supposedly an allegory for something in Serbia, though I don't see what raping new born babies, drugged men, or raping your own son while your brother rapes your drugged wife. Or having your wife smash your brother's face in for having raped her. Or, having your former porn partner's teeth removed then suffocating her with your penis, or raping a woman whose hogtied to a bed doggy style, then chop of her head to experience rigor mortis sex. Or, brutally killing the ones responsible for drugging you and forcing you into doing this shit, and shoving your penis in one of the bad men eye socket to kill him. Or at the end, the horrors you, your wife, and your son was ultimately so horrible, that you all commit suicide via gunshot, only for another film crew to come on the scene where your bodies are, to have the new director to tell a massive sized bloke to start having sex with the body's starting with the young one.

If you ask me, the director/writer is simply a sick fuck, and wanted to shock everyone, and by extension, he probably wanted to incur some emotion in his cold black unfeeling heart due to being jaded, or having lived through some soviet communist block off the ja hizzy bullshit, so horrible ( he claims it's based on shit the SERBIAN people endured ), that we in the west only have nightmares about such twisted shit. Or fool ourselves into believing, that such things could only exist in Hollywood, namely the movie Hostel 1&2 or Salo.


BEFORE AND AFTER PICTURES FROM THE BEHEADING SEX MORTIS SCENE. This entire movie is just a fuck you to all of us. There is no reason or rhyme to any of this shit, this particular scene was troublesome for me.







I don't dig people getting killed, getting raped is a meh for me because you're alive, even though you're fucked. But getting killed while being raped, is a bit much. This movie though troublesome, hasn't raped my soul like that pussy over at bloodydisgusting claimed this film did to him; maybe that faggot needs to watch more glee.

edit: watch this movie at your own peril. I don't give a shit, but there may be those among you who hasn't the constitution for such things.

[jo_dile]

I heart you. Fuck everyone else and stop talking yourself down or I will whip you with my weave. Got it? :

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[Expletive]

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Jo you got it --no more of that doomsday bullcrap. only positives from me.

[jo_dile]

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The only one who can make you happy is you, baby cakes. Everyday you have a choice..you cant change the hand you're dealt, but you can choose how you react to it. *hugs*

[Expletive]

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Jo you're awesome! Thank you so very much!



Director:
Joe Johnston
Writers:
Andrew Kevin Walker (screenplay), David Self (screenplay), and 1 more credit ?
Stars:
Benicio Del Toro, Anthony Hopkins and Emily Blunt

MacQueen: It was about twenty-five years ago now. My pa found him: Quinn Noddy and all his flock. Brains, guts and God-knows-what lying across the moor. And the look on Quinn's face. Like he'd been eaten alive. Whatever did it, it was big, had claws, and didn't mind a load of buckshot. After that, me father went home. He melted down my ma's wedding spoons, and cast silver bullets off 'em. He wouldn't leave the house on a full moon from then on.

That's poetry right there, and it's from an overlooked and underrated masterpiece called Wolfman. Many fuckers brags about the awesomeness of Avatar, and how James Cameron is the second coming, but to them I say nay, and again, thee never; fuck you lot---I say in case they're assholes and don't get it. Avatar was a bunch of donkey shit, 3d and all.
Andrew Kevin Walker who wrote Seven, 8MM, Sleepy Hollow and helped make Fight Club awesome, was definitely the gore master and scene density for Wolfman. Del Toro carries this movie, as he did in Che, even though he was seemingly stronger in Che than he was in this. Though Del Toro carried the movie, Anthony Hopkins owned every scene he was in, and the big revelation half way through wasn't that much of revelation for me, but it was still nicely done. I'll give it a four out of five, well done you lot, well done.


The Tourist

Director:
Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck
Writers:
Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck (screenplay), Christopher McQuarrie (screenplay), and 2 more credits ?
Stars:
Johnny Depp, Angelina Jolie and Paul Bettany

The Tourist, was boring, it was really really boring. Which surprises me because the director clearly loved shooting it, and the writer clearly loved writing the dense scenes. So why was it so boring? Why was it so utterly trivial and pointless? These questions keep me up at night people. Seriously, I don't sleep much.


Scott Pilgrim vs The World

Director:
Edgar Wright
Writers:
Michael Bacall (screenplay), Edgar Wright (screenplay), and 1 more credit ?
Stars:
Michael Cera, Mary Elizabeth Winstead and Kieran Culkin

Why was this movie made again? Seriously, why did they make this piece of shit cinema. It wasn't cool, nor funny, but maybe that's because my heart is onyx, and I who despised Legend of the Guardians and Toy Story 3 isn't the type of person---aw fuck it this was a bunch of shit. It didn't remind me of video games nor anime, nor manga characters, this was just fucking stupid.


August Underground

Director:
Fred Vogel
Writers:
Fred Vogel, Allen Peters
Stars:
Kyle Dealman, Casey Eganey and Alexa Iris

Not funny, not cool, not horrifying, nor terrifying, more like terrible and horrible. The camera work seems as if it was held by a retarded with Hodgkin disease. Don't see it, not because of the subject matter, but because it wasn't executed properly. I've kept a copy of the trilogy so as to remind myself how not to do it. But in contrast, I have Cloverfield on DVD to remind myself of how to do it right.

@Syfy Craig Engler
@DavidvanBrakel That's the series Brad & Robert wanted to create. If we chose a different take it would not have been a Stargate show.
11 Feb via web Favorite Retweet Reply

SyFY claims it's not their fault that Stargate Universe got brought to the table, and it isn't their fault that it was moved to Tuesday night to go head to head with network power houses like dancing, csi and the gay spectacle glee. Of course that's bullshit, and SyFy thought they could win with SGU like they did with SGA when they refused to bring back SG1 and to give Flash Gordon and Pain Killa Jane a chance. And we all remember how fucking awesome Flash Gordon and Pain Killa Jane was. Fuck, I remember when Dr Who with David Tennant ended (it was the first weeping angels episode) and Flash Gordon's episode The Hawk Man began. Now, I've seen some stupid donkey shit in my time, but to see, on Cable television, grown ass actors in a produced bit of fluff, stand around a fire make believing they're hawks going: Awww awwww awwww, fuck me syfy, you canceled SG1 for this shit? So naturally syfy jumped on the SGA band wagon because they felt that SG1 would loose fans in the coming years, and they thought; 'we need to have 2 million viewers,' but lo, syfy, lo, part of Stargates franchise power was that they were shown during off seasons and on Friday night when other Networks didn't have a solid answer for Fridays. But then the producers of SGA saw the awesomeness of BSG and thought they could do that, and decided to do a show where everyone was a universe away from it all (thus serious and shady, at least supposedly), and had nothing going for them other than the communication stones, and the producers loving the idea got excited and hoped that SyFy would carry both shows. But Syfy crying poor mouth, and saying they needed the money to bring better quality shows along the vein of Flash Gordon and Pain Killa Jane to the network, said that the producers had to choose between the beloved SGA, or the unknown SGU. So the producers fearing that after five years, SGA had no where to go, decided to do SGU, and as they say the rest is history. So the producers fucked up, big time. But it was SYFY that killed the show by deciding to bring it to television during regular season, and to move it to Tuesday nights. The show had good ratings Friday nights, dismal, but good. Tuesday nights; the show never broke a million. I never really liked SGU, I got to enjoy it, but I never really broke my back to go and see it. At least, not until the second season, which was much better.