Skrillex Uses Satanic and Homosexual Influence to Win Grammys

[el_victorino]

I don't typically enjoy making fun of the handicapped or the retarded, but this is worthy of its own thread.

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Skrillex, a Gothic icon and Lesbian fashionista whose name is Latin for “Homosexual Satan Wasp”, is the biggest act in Dubstep today — a music genre founded on consuming massive amounts of drugs and having raucous pre-marital sex with numerous partners — and his winnings at the 2012 Grammys prove that his satanic presence will be felt for years to come. As long as Skrillex wins Grammys and is accepted by mainstream media, he will claim souls for Satan and molest our children through his perverse philosophy of futuristic devil machine music.

Skrillex is the inventor of “dubstep” whose sole purpose is to provide a “drop” — common youth terminology for procuring and snorting drugs. In addition, the rhythm patterns he employs in his “music” are known to cause seizures to certain people, which provides ample opportunity for other concert-goers to rape said afflicted person(s).

Skrillex, a known emosexual, was born Sonny Moore. He rose to fame with the satanic Rock ‘n roll band “From First To Last” (a band name that celebrates falling from God’s grace) and soon parlayed that success into something much more blasphemous; something that incorporates elements of Warhol-era rampant homosexuality and perversion, electronic “music” and lesbian-influenced haircuts. It is rumored that 1 in 3 women are raped at a Skrillex concert and forced to abort their children soon after.

Over 100% of homosexual gays listen to, or have listened to Skrillex in their life — mostly while participating in door-to-door recruitment for sex orgies or attempting to molest children in one of the patented “Rape Vans” used by the gay homo community.

In addition, Skrillex has launched a grotesque fashion trend, where upon weak-minded woman destroy their hallowed vessels of child birthing by SHAVING the side of their head — the same thing responsible for the downfall of Samson is being ENCOURAGED by this gnome-ish pervert. Skrillex will stop at nothing to get every teen in America hooked on dubstep and “ecstasy” (a potent street drug responsible for terrorism).

[trekgod3]

That is the funniest crap I have ever read!

[TheSNakE]

haha, servers down on the site.
That sounded like it should be from The Onion.

[el_victorino]

I'd love to see an annotated version of this insightful essay with footnotes citing sources. For instance, while I'm no linguist, I do know that the word homosexual doesn't really transate into Latin very well, given that it's already a Greek/Latin hybrid word, and that in Latin, Satan is actually Diabolus. While I can't really argue with the description of dubstep as "futuristic devil machine music" I didn't realize that Skrillex actually invented it. I applaud the "make hay while the sun shines" attitude of those taking advantage of dubstep-induced seizures to rape the afflicted, but I suspect that the frequency is overstated.

And of course, nobody can argue with the observation re lesbian-influenced haircuts, but really, if one out of three women are raped at Skrillex concerts, then why the need for the community rape-van? It seems easier to just let your customers come to you.

I'd like to see the data that support "over 100% of homosexual gays" listening to Skrillex, just so that I can compare it to the percentage of non-homosexual gays. I suspect, though, that the latter would constitute somewhat less than 0%.

Finally, I don't much care about the shaving of the side of the head, as long as they keep shaving their hallowed vessels of child birthing as well - nobody likes to stop mid lick to spit up a pube.

[Eccles]

It's no wonder our Satan likes him

[MrGoutHimself]

Simpsons already did it.

http://forum.drunkenstepfather.com/s...ostcount=13255

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well, it IS from Christwire.org........a satire site

[TheSNakE]

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Thanks, that explains it. I thought it was a real, crazy christian site.

[el_victorino]

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Wait - really - a satire site? That says something about the fierceness of christian looniness if something so blatantly crazy doesn't seem so blatantly crazy.

[el_victorino]

Okay, I just browsed their site, and the fact is that it's no more crazy or obviously satirical than the rantings I've seen painted on a couple of vehicles here in town, or on the FB pages of some christians I have known. I guess it's hard to effectively satirize any mythology, but especially one that starts with a talking snake and a magic garden.

Remember, this is the religion that said this:

"In dietary lawIn the 17th century, based on a question raised by the Bishop of Quebec, the Roman Catholic Church ruled that the beaver was a fish (beaver flesh was a part of the indigenous peoples' diet, prior to the Europeans' arrival) for purposes of dietary law. Therefore, the general prohibition on the consumption of meat on Fridays during Lent did not apply to beaver meat. The legal basis for the decision probably rests with the Summa Theologica of Thomas Aquinas, which bases animal classification as much on habit as anatomy. This is similar to the Church's classification of the capybara, another semi-aquatic rodent."