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Instead of this line "I finally get up and go over to the window and open the curtains" you should have used this "I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter. Away to the window I flew like a flash,Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash" Then use "When, what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a fucking car on it's fucking roof so close to my window I could have touched it with my erect penis". Then finished it with "Happy Drunk driving to all, and to all a good-night!"