1. What tends to feel better for you, sex or masturbation? I'm married, so masturbation tends to be the only option
2. Your 5 favorite spots to be stimulated. On my dick, in bed, on the couch, in the car, anywhere near or far
3. Have you ever had your prostate stimulated? Nope
4. Have you ever had an orgasm from anywhere other than your genitals? I think that would be cause for concern.
5. Do you prefer clitoral or vaginal stimulation? I'm a fan of both
6. Can you touch your clitoris directly, or does that hurt? My wife tends to hurt me if I go straight for the clit
7. Are you well-acquainted with your G-spot? No, but it's still on my Christmas card list
8. Are handjobs boring, or underrated? They're not my first choice, but who am I to complain if she's willing to do it for me?
9. Do you like having your balls touched? The wife thinks balls are gross, so on the rare occasions she spontaneously touches them it tends to be more surprising then pleasurable.
10. Do you like having your nipples touched? No
11. Do you like having your anus touched? Nope
12. Have you ever been fisted (anally or vaginally)? I make a fist when spanking the monkey, does that count?
13. Do you like mild roughness (scratching, spanking, hair-pulling, etc.)? It's ok
14. Do you have any kinks? Nope
15. Are you into anything under the BDSM umbrella? I'd be game for cuffs, but you can keep the clamps and paddles
16. Do you pee in the shower? Nope, I always go before the shower so I don't have to worry about that
17. Do you ever masturbate in the shower? Occasionally, but it leaves my dick feeling abused
18. Have you had sex in the shower? Back before we had kids it used to be pretty common
19. Do you like being naked? Yup
20. Do you sleep partially/fully naked? fully
21. Have you ever skinny dipped? I've been with a group that went skinny dipping after a party, but I can't swim so I stayed ashore and enjoyed the scenery
22. What's the most unusual thing you've done nude? I think I might have baked a cake once while I was naked.
23. Have you ever to a nude beach, naked party, or other situation involving casual nudity? Not unless you count the skinny dipping question
24. Are you comfortable being seen partially/fully naked by family or friends (i.e. getting dressed, etc.)? I walk around in the tattoo shop in my boxer briefs on a pretty regular basis
25. Are you comfortable with partners seeing you nude in non-sexual contexts? Doesn't phase me a bit
26. Have you ever showered with someone (non-sexually)? Yup, the wife and I normally shower together after sex
27. Do you care if a partner sees you going to the bathroom? I'm a believer that not all moments of life need to be shared with my partner
28. Do you have naked pictures/videos of yourself? If yes, have you sent them to anyone? Are they online? When I was younger I had an avatar of my ass I would use to moon people in chat.
29. How many sexual partners have you had? 2.5
30. How often do you masturbate? At least once a day
31. Age you started masturbating? How did you discover/learn about it? 16 or 17. I was a late bloomer
32. What position do you typically masturbate in (laying on back, on stomach, sitting up, etc.)? laying down
33. Describe your masturbation routine, technique, etc. Spend 45 minutes searching for just the right porn, then blow my nut a minute into it
34. What do you masturbate to (porn, smut, imagination, etc.)? What's the difference between porn and smut? I'd say I typically use a mix of porn of imagination.
35. Have you ever masturbated to the point you got sore? Haven't we all?
36. Your thoughts the first time you got up close and personal with the opposite set of genitals? Awesome. Can't believe this is happening.
37. Have you ever "compared" (genitals, breasts, whatever) with a friend? Nope.
38. What kind of underwear do you normally wear? None, unless I'm getting inked that day.
39. Do you ever go commando? 99% of the time.
40. Have you ever had a wet dream/orgasmed in your sleep? Nope, I too wake up before the big score.
41. How big is your penis? Nothing to brag about, but it gets the job done.
42. Does your penis curve at all? Nope, but there's been times when I thought my wife would break it trying
43. Which testicle hangs lower? Right I believe.
44. How big are your breasts? I'd say my moobs are probably a solid A
45. Do you long or short labia? Are they even or uneven? My balls are long and uneven
46. Do you have a particularly large or tiny clitoris? Can't find mine, but I'd say the wife's is on the small side.
47. Are you circumcised or no? Are you happy with it? Nope. Yup. Makes it easier to jack off/get handjobs.
48. Are you turned on or off by foreskin, or don't care? Can't say I've ever looked at it and thought it was hot
49. What are you more into (or like more about yourself), boobs or butts? I'm an ass-man.
50. Do you find genitals physically attractive, or weird/gross, or not feel strongly either way? Usually the female set is attractive, but spend enough time on the internet and you'll see your share of horror stories
51. Do you like the way your genitals look? Nope. I'd prefer a resemblance to the Keaton Batman but they look more like a DeVito Penguin.
52. Would you be able to pick out your genitals from a lineup? I really doubt it. There's no tattoos or moles or anything, so they look pretty much like every other dick/balls combo.
53. Do you like your butt? Sure, it's what attracted the wife to me.
54. What do you do with your pubic hair (shave, trim, wax, nothing, etc.)? Shave or nair it, not a pube fan.
55. Do you care/have a preference what partners do with their pubic hair? Smooth is better for going down but I can live with other options so long as it's not 70's bush
56. Do you tuck your penis a certain way (i.e. left or right) when you get dressed? Nope but he always strays to the left
57. Do you have or want any genital piercings? Do you like any on other people? I used to have my frenum pierced but had to remove it after having seizures at work. They told me I had to remove all piercings before they could run tests, and by the time things were done I would have had to force it back through. Been trying to talk the wife into getting her clit or lips pierced for years but no luck so far.
58. What is the quickest you've ever brought yourself (or been brought) to orgasm? Never timed it
59. Do you ever "edge" (repeatedly stop and start) when masturbating? Not so much as a goal but in the process of finding better porn sure
60. What's the longest masturbation session you've had? Longest sex session? I picked a day when I was a teen and dedicated pretty much the whole day to seeing how many times I could jack off, I'd say it lasted most of the day before it got painful. Longest sex session was probably about 8 hours. I was 23 and losing my virginity and I was so worked up the hard-on wouldn't go away so we just kept going until we both couldn't take anymore.
61. What's the most orgasms you've had in one session (of anything)? Never counted
62. Do your orgasms tend to be full-body, or crotch-centric? Crotch-centric
63. Spit or swallow? How do you go down on a girl and spit?
~lick lick ptuu!~ As far as receiving goes, I've had like two bj's from the wife and she won't allow finishing in her mouth, so neither is an option
64. When you ejaculate, do you more shoot or dribble? Shoot
65. Is it hot or gross to get ejaculated on? I automatically associate the word ejaculate with guys, so I'm going to go with gross.
66. Do you "squirt?" Nope
67. Have you ever attempted (or succeeded) to give yourself oral? Nope, that seems like a hospital visit waiting to happen
68. Have you ever given/received a footjob, boobjob, etc.? Nope
69. Have you ever had sex in a public place? Nope, but I'd be willing
70. Have you ever had sex in a bed/on a couch that didn't belong to either of you? Not unless hotels count
71. Have you ever had sex/masturbated while somebody was sleeping near you? Yup, wife's a sound sleeper.
72. How many rooms of your house/apartment/etc. have you had sex in? We've had sex in all but one room in the house
73. Strangest/most unique place you've had sex? How about masturbated? On the way to work
74. Have you had any sexual experiences that were downright gross? I was worried about performance with the second girl I slept with so I stole one of my dad's Viagra and combined it with one of those numbing condoms. The sex was terrible, I couldn't feel a thing, and when I went into the bathroom to take the condom off, it was clear full of blood. Never tried that again.
75. Are you particularly "vocal" when masturbating/having sex? Nope, I've spent too many years watching porn with the sound off, so I stay muted during the real thing
76. Have you ever been caught masturbating/having sex? Both. Thanks to the kids the wife and I have perfected the art of "Nothing to see here" at the sound of the door starting to open.
77. Have you had or do you want to have a threesome (or foursome, or more)? Nope, seems like too much hassle
78. Do you own any sex toys? None of my own, bought a few for the missus
79. Have you ever used a homemade sex toy, or a regular object as a sex toy? Nope
80. Can a dildo feel as good as a penis (assuming the person with the penis is good at what they do)? Wouldn't know
81. What are your favorite positions? Doggystyle, missionary with her legs on my shoulders
82. Your most embarrassing sexual experience? See 74.
83. Worst place/time you've ever gotten a boner? Boners in public are never your friend, so any time that's happened.
84. Have you ever had any genital injuries? Again, see 74.
85. Have you ever had a sexually transmitted infection? Thank God no.
86. Have you ever had a non-sexually transmitted genital infection (yeast infection, etc)? Nope.
87. If you lack a penis, have you ever tried to pee standing up? N/a
88. If you lack a penis, how familiar are you with how you look down there? N/a
89. Do you think you're "good" at sex, or your performance/skill could use improvement? I think I'm at least decent, but there's always room for improvement
90. Have you "sexted" (whether through text messaging or IM chat)? Nope, I'd just feel stupid.
91. Have you masturbated for or with someone via webcam? Don't have a webcam
92. Have you have phone sex? See 90.
93. If you had the opposite set of genitals for a day, name 5 things you would do. Masturbate and pray I don't get my period
94. What's something you like about your body? My tats
95. What's something you dislike about your body? My belly. Even when I weighed 90lbs I had a belly bulge.
96. What body parts do you find the sexiest? Ass and I like a nice stomach, not too toned but not real flabby either.
97. What was your most recent sexual thought? Probably something while reading Madame's answers
98. Do you ever just play with your boobs, penis, labia, etc.? Sure, it can't always be about lust so sometimes I like to prop it on a ps3 controller so we can play together
99. When was the last time you touched your genitals? When I took a whizz
100. Do you often imagine people naked? It's more fun than imagining them clothed
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