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Men are like a box of chocolates: they all look different but inside they are squishy and smell like poop.
Everyone had a different need. Some liked frottaging the stump. Stump humping was a thing long before the song took off on college campuses.
Some would throw it at Frothy when he would try to peek in the room with his Fisher-Price PXL2000 to make videos for show and tell. Such a little vixen. Almost Atomic that boy.
Some...well...where do you think the term pegging came from? It wasn't from jamming a pirates parrot through their balloon knot I tell you what.
One clown used it to juggle. Really, he was a clown. (that cost more obviously)
And some just liked it for the splinters.