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I've got a situation where that excuse doesn't work: Basic Training. When I was in Army basic, we got the call to get into formation. One of my buddies was taking a shit and was late getting where he was supposed to be. The drill sergeant took no excuses. He said that if you were shitting when formation was called you shit yourself on the way to formation. Of course, it's a no win situation because if you show up with pants full of dookie, you were in for it anyway. The sergeants called him Turdboy for weeks.