[NookieJunkie]

I wonder if African kids say, "I'm so hungry, I could eat a Horsefly!"


That awkward silence when president Obama is refused credit for a new sofa in DFS!
(too soon?)


You know your girlfriend is rough when you ask for a blow job and she replies
" not tonight I'm tired, just wank into a cup and I'll drink it in the morning"


A man gets up in the morning and looks shit. Everywhere he goes people ask "Are you ok?", he feels amazing though.
He goes to the doctor and says "Doctor help me, I feel amazing but I look horrible."
The doctor opens a book and scrolls through to a certain page.
"Here we go! Feels amazing, looks horrible, you must be a vagina!"