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I'd say run that shit through a wood chipper and ship her the bits.
What makes this worse is this is immediate family, so I tell the person that since they have a key to my condo, to go on over and start the laptop in safe mode (including instructions) and copy whatever files they want. Fine, no problem. Then they say "well how about while over there I make supper." I agree, whatever. Then it's "I've got some sausage I need to use, what about breakfast for dinner?" Well, sausage lately has been tearing me up something awful, between the hear burn and the fissure in my large intestine that's inflamed again, so I say as much. I'm then told how good it is because it's turkey and lightly seasoned and I say again that I can't eat it but that they can feel free to bring it and cook it and I'll just eat peanut butter crackers.
So then I hear about 10 minutes later that they're just going to pick up the laptop and bring it to their house.
Thank 42.