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Old 04-18-2008, 11:00 AM
retlok retlok is offline
the burning and itching has stopped
 

Join Date: Apr 2008
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Friends with benefits implodes 95% of the time.

I've tried it a few times, and I would say that my experiences were never terrible; but they weren't perfectly great.

I think there are two big reasons that FWB doesn't work.

A big one, and I learned this in a court mandated group therapy session where I was the only man, is that the majority of women that agree to a casual sexual relationship with a male friend are in fact secretly angling or wishing for a full relationship. I don't mean to be sexist, but I have been floored over the years by the sheer volume of girls that pretend to go along with NSA sex and are dying for more.

The other reason; hormones. Sexual acts release oxytocin; the hormone that causes us to feel attachments to other people; of which women tend to be more receptive too (their systems are flooded with oxytocin when they give birth). It also increases the levels of vasopressin, which is the hormone that is linked to male possessiveness. So the reason that friends with benefits almost always goes weird (or leads to a relationship) is because the hormones make things seem different down the line.

I would bet that most cases of positive relationships of this nature ended because outside factors (moving, jobs, whatever) ended the relationship before one party got overly attached.
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