How crazy is your family?
 

Post weird stories or crazy facts about your family or crazy families in the news



Parents, siblings, in-laws, wives (no husbands bcuz they are always perfect :D )
Everyone is fair game.

You can even use this thread to rant about them.

so this great-uncle of mine looks at his wife and tells her:
- drop the fork and get me a sammich
to which she replies:
- do it yourself
- make it bacon, bish!
- sftu

or something like that. all I really know is she still had the fork in her hand when I met her... during her wake

When my oldest was learning how to spell words before she could fully pronounce them this conversation went down.

Daughter: Daddy what is W-H-A-T?
Daddy: What
Daughter: Daddy what is W-H-A-T?
Daddy: What
Daughter: Daddy what is W-H-A-T?
Daddy: What
Daughter:Daddy what is W-H-A-T!?!?
Daddy: What

It was pretty comical at the time!

when i was in high school my uncle was married to this crazy bitch(literally).
while there are many crazy stories i could tell about this bitch, i'll start with this little ditty: her and my uncle lived with my grandparents like i did and when my cousins would come over on the weekends they would have her take us places like the pool and skating and stuff. so we're at the skating rink eating a pizza when out of nowhere she says omg brandy you just ate the 7th peice of pizza. he's gonna come get you tonight. "he" would be this guy that she claimed would come into her bedroom in the morning after my uncle left for work and talked to her while she slept. as you can imagine this scared the shit out of brandy and her sister kim. it didn't phase me i was starting to catch on that she wasn't quite right from living with them.

omg then there was the time they were on their honeymoon in gatilanburg and she was followed by lorrie morgan (she's on old counrty singer) b/c she liked her boyfriend marty stewart (also a counrty singer). before they split up she was diagnosed with paranoid scizophrenia.

one of my 'ancestors'
actually my great great great great grandfather
found from a family tree in dine

well lets see
1. One of my older sisters who was always the most down to earth, responsible, ect, a few years ago she broke up with her husband because she started seeing someone else, but neither of them moved out. They live in the same house her husband sleeps on the couch, and she leaves every other weekend to go stay w. her boyfriend. It is more messed up than I can make it sound here. Oh yeah they have 2 kids (10 & 8) who are not fooled.

2. Last year I found out my father had another child w/ some other women before he married my mom. So I have a brother that is like 40 something that I have never met. That is like some sitcom shit. Very crazy

The in-laws
 

My wife is currently visiting her family out of town (about 2 1/2 hours flight away). Now they are all a bit fucked up (more on that later) but within 2 days of being there she sent me the following sms:
"OMG!!! I knew this side was a bit backward but they give whitetrash a whole new meaning!"

I have to wait for her to get back thursday to reveal the details. Lets just say they are really really fucked up. I stay far far away from them!

Wow, I could write novels on this shit, just within my own family, but also my wife's. My wife's mother died a few years ago from ALS, but her two aunts are alive. They married father and son.

My mother's mother was paranoid schizophrenic and also bipolar. I remember we went to visit my gramps for my 8th birthday and he got Nell (my grandmother) out of the nursing home for the party. About the time we were cutting the cake she walked into the kitchen, lifted her skirt, and pissed on the floor. She couldn't go into the bathroom because "they" were in there. Mom's bipolar too, and she's fine except when she refuses for months to take her prozac because it makes her crabby (she says). And then there's my father, normally the sane one in the bunch, who's spent most of the last year sending all of his money ($23755 total, some from retirement some from unemployment because he's out of work) to a "woman" he met online who was "from colorado but working in Nigeria." Shit, I'm crazier than a shithouse rat, but I'm the sanest one in my family in site.
-SRD

my family! i'm not even getting in to it, i'm trying to forget it. as for you freaks. Jesus ya'll make me look normal and i look like an axe murderer.

To me you look like Terry Funk....
-SRD