Post the most *OFFENSIVE* jokes you know
 

Focus:
Post three (3) of the most offensive jokes you know, keep the banter and lulz posts to a minimal and we should have a good collection going here.



How can you tell if it's time to do the dishes?

Look down your pants, if there's a penis, it's not time.

What's the best part about having a bath with a thirteen year old?

She can slick back her hair and look like she's 9.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a rock?

You can't fuck a rock.

Q: Why wasn't Jesus born in Mexico?

A: They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

Q: Why is anal sex better then normal sex?
A: It's warm, it's tight and more degrading to women.

Q : What do you do after raping a deaf, dumb and blind girl?
A : Break her fingers so she can't tell anyone.

Q: What is better than winning a medal at the Special Olympics?
A: Not being retarded.

Q: What's blue and fucks old people?
A: Hypothermia.

Q: What's the first thing a woman does when she gets out of the battered wives' shelter?
A: The dishes if she knows what's good for her.

Q: How do you swat 200 flies at one time
A: Hit an Ethiopian in the face with a frying pan.

Q: What is the definition of "making love"?
A: Something a woman does while a guy is fucking her.

Q: Why do you wrap a hamster in electrical tape?
A: So it doesn't explode when you fuck it.

Q: What do 54,000 abused woman every year have in common?
A: They don't fucking listen.

Q: What's so good about an Ethiopian blowjob?
A: You know she'll swallow.

Q: Why did God create yeast infections?
A: So women would know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt once in a while too.

How do you get an Ethiopian pregnant?

Cum on her feet and let the flies do the rest.

How manyt black people does it take to shingle a roof?

Depends on how thin you slice them.

What do you call a bunch of old black men in a barn?

Antique farm equipment.

Why doesn't Mexico have an olympic team?

All of the Mexicans who can run, jump, or swim are in the U.S.

Whats the difference between a picnic table and a mexican?

A picnic table can support a family of four

What would you call the jetsons if they were black?

Niggers

What sound does a baby make in the blender?

I dunno i was too busy jerking off

Whats the difference between a sandwich and a baby?

You don't fuck a sandwhich before you eat it


You asked for it :)

A white priest is walking with a young boy in the forest, they walk for hours and hours, deeper and deeper into the woods and the young boy starts to cry. The priest looks at the boy and says 'Why are you crying? I have to walk back alone.'

What time is bed time at Micheal Jackson's house?

When the big hand touches the little hand.

What do broccoli and anal sex have in common?

If you don't like being forced to have it as a child, you'll hate it as an adult.

See, I can be offensive and not racist.

What's the best thing about fucking twenty eight year olds?


There's twenty of them!

Apologies in advance,


This Jewish father is sitting down at dinner with his family when his daughter asks...

"Dad, I need fifty dollars for a new prom dress."

Dad replies...

"Forty dollars, what do you need Thirty dollars for?"

What's the worst part about having sex with a 7 year old?
Getting the blood out of your clown suit.

How can you tell if you're at a bulimic bachelor party?
The cake jumps out of the girl.

What would Princess Di be doing if she were alive today?
Scratching at the lid of her coffin.