Rock the Vibe Vote - 2009. Help us, help Amylikewhoa.
 

So here's the deal: we need to pick out a sex toy for the material girl. That poor fuckface has been working 12 hour shifts for days on end and she's about to celebrate with a naughty purchase.....and that's where we, the pervy DSF masses come in. Love her, hate her, wanna see her on a double-ender....it's time to vote*.

SirLongFoot has been oh-so-very gracious in assisting me with the dizzying task of whittling down the options from the veritable cornucopia of worthy vibrators. Understand, this was not easy. My advance apologies to any notable exclusions, including the Great American Challenge, Golden Egg (obvious tie in to granny/easter egg thread), The Jack Rabbit, The OhMiBod (very very tempting....it's powered by your ipod - which is 100% pure, recockulous consumerism - but amylikewhoa hates music, so boo).....but tarry on the sex toy fence, we cannot....so here are your choices and please, please vote thoughtfully and carefully.

*please note - Amy holds a 35% share of voting stock in this thread. At the end - she can apply a weighted vote (35% of the total votes) to the toy of her frilly fancy......but if it's a runaway, she cannot stop the kinky train.

**please also note - SLF and I are available to run similar polls for any e-vagina needing to be filled. Jo?


Option 1 - Persnickety Penguin



Option 2 - Clit Hugger G-Spot Pleaser


Editor's note: Amy has often called herself awkward and doesn't like internal stimulation. This toy has been fashioned into a swan. Baby swans are awkward but grow into beautiful birds that probably take it internally. The parallels are obvious. Help her grow. And phthalate free? Even better.....nobody wants a cancerous clit.

Option 3 - The Feeldoe Stout


Editor's note: It sounds like a creepy, animal-molesting beer....but alas, this stout goes in the other end. Since this toy combines strapon sex (without the hassles of a harness) and mutual penetration pleasure....and nobody knowz where the fuck Thomas is....I'd happily volunteer to take one for the team, should the feeldoe be elected.


Option 4 - Squirting Realistic Cock Dildo


Editor's note: I'm afraid this selection might betray my anonymous identity (as editor)....but holy fuck people?!?! You can give yourself a creampie? I don't know why I even made this a poll....if this one doesn't win, I have no faith in mankind. Auto-creaming? I didn't even know it was available technology. I'm giddy. The only lingering question.....is what goo would Amy put in the volcano cock to spill out? A batter of makeup, cigerette ash and milk?



Option 5 - My First Anal Kit

Editor's note: This title was just too cute. Help her explore the rosy ballon knot with her very first anal kit. I don't even know what a jackpin T-bar attachment is but I wanna see it in her ass.


Option 6 - The Fukouku Powe Pack


Editor's note: Finger fucking good! Did you ever notice all the rings on her fingers? Well, this fukouku pack goes well with her ringy blingy.

Option 7 - The Foreskin


Editor's note: At this point, I'm exhausted. Just LOL @ the fake uncut cock and vote.

Ahh, which to pick? There is so much win here, its hard to narrow it down to only one. :D

I know - it's like picking your favorite child, right? I feel as though we birthed each one of these phallic devices.

I don't know if it's fatigue or what...but I went for the lava erupting one (selfishly).

This is huge...how do we decide? I am mean...
Well I need a few more hours to think about it..


I will be back!
Time: 4:04 pm marked

This is tough. Knowing what I do about our little Amy, I was torn and I had it whittled down to 2, 4, or 6. The penguin thing looks a little complicated, and 5 had too many parts. In the end, I decided on 2. It looks like a multitasker. 4 I liked cuz she could grab the balls and fucking have at it, but squirting some recipe into the snatch is just asking for a yeast infection. 6 looked promising, but in the throes of a screaming orgasm, do you want to accidentally get tangled up in wiring? no. For me, 2, Clit-hugger G-spot pleaser.

Clit Hugger FTW. Chosen with assistance from Mrs maxbailey.

LOL @ mega and max.

It warms my heart to see the swan unfurling it's wings and flying....beautiful.


ahahaha....I totally followed Mega's logic there too, scary.

lol @ Max bringing in Mrs. Max to help decide. :D Awesome

I chose Persnickety Penguin because the name made me LOL.

I wish I could take credit for that scary contraption...but SLF dutifully scoured the interwebz for that beauty.

Not trying to dissuade any voters or start a smear campaign....but that fucker truly scares me. I'm picturing it crawling up on me in my sleep....attaching itself to my face and throat fucking me with it's bulbous tail? Perhaps it's just me.


Again, if the persnickety penguin were to win, ummm, I'm sure it's a great toy.