***CAUTION THIS IS GROSS*** Lisa Appleton & Lauren Harries - 3/7/18
 

This is why you have to stop giving attention and money to naked grandmas FFS.

Also, one of them has a vagina that is pretty new, like it's only 12 years old, if you know what I mean. Woot! :spin:

Do you hate us that much?? I told you I would gladly pay for your patreon if you set it up. You don't have to punish us!!!

If I hated you, I would not have provided a disclaimer in the title. ;)

But…everyone adopting a ho on patreon 100000000% deserves to see this as punishment. :flames

YOU ARE FUCKING UP THE PLANET AND THIS IS THE RESULT OF THE ACTION.

People like the above, Claudia Romani, all the horny Grandmas of LA, etc. see what’s going on and think they can have it to, so here we are.




Fortunately I am a realist. :) I did the world a favor and cut out social media years ago. I know I don’t belong there. If you ever saw me, you would know I’m not aging well and I’m not plastic.

I can’t take a decent pic to save my life. I can set myself up where I look good in the mirror but it looks all different in the pic and that screws with me.

I never learned photoshop so I can’t Kartrashasurgery with it.

I can’t hire someone to take the pictures for me as even anyone pushing 60 is still able to get under 21 year olds into a hotel room with their camera. I know actual multiple people doing this and if they can have barely legals very often, they don’t have a reason to waste time on me and I’ll feel like shit anyway knowing that so that’s out. And vids are even worse because I don’t even have any type of filter for that, so that’s out.




So what could I offer? I had someone trying to talk me into camming at a time. And every time I would go to check it out everyone is flawless. I am the opposite of that, I walk around with scars on my face for Christ’s sake. So that’s out.

I thought about maybe getting a mask, but figured many have done that and it would be cliché. I thought about offering to let people just make fun of me for different price levels, but there is no way to actually make them pay for it first, so that wouldn’t work and I'd just end up in some yuck reddits.




So what would my end goals be?

Well an anonymous high tipper for Maitland provided me with her secret levels for the following which will likely be hit next month:

• $100K gets all fans the opportunity to lick the surgery scars on her nipples if they find her out and about.
  
• $200K is now the fresh shat in panties for one top donor. I hope the winner takes a pic and posts it to the community!
  
• $300K is one top donor gets to cum in one of her holes of his choosing and her husband will suck it out and swallow, all on video.

How could I possibly compete with that? Do you have any ideas?

Do I let people pay to come here and watch me post amongst the others that aren’t paying? Since that’s what all the other people are doing with their social media level quality inspired crap? That’s my equivalent maybe? :cool:

I can make personalized voice recordings saying whatever anyone wanted. That’s the best I got. It’s a shame phone sex is dead, that could have been my calling. I have a body built for radio, shame my career in that ended before my first show.:(

And my top level…slit my throat on some type of live stream? Many out there would get what they want, but then I wouldn’t be able to enjoy the money and the ones that wanted it the most wouldn't be on my patronethyline thing so that seems like a dumb idea. :light

tl;dr: I dunno. This is why I bitch for the days when hookers provided for real sex. Just seems easier, but no one wants it anymore. :rolleyes: :cry :evillol

That's hilarious!!!

First off, you're way too hard on yourself. I think you're adorable.

Secondly, as to pics, what's needed is someone with a bit of talent on the other side of the camera. Problem with most of these chicks is that they have no imagination. Maitland is the perfect example . . . it's the same shtick in everything she does -- same pose, same shimmy, etc.

If I was old and rich instead of just old, I'd love the opportunity to see what kind of content we could produce. You have way too many fun ideas that we couldn't come up with some rockin' stuff.

I, personally, love unconventional beauty, and that's you Madam.

*hugs* :luv