Craigslist LoLs
 

thats a new yet classic move to get action,lmao

I've been RickRolled... Dammit!

the Best of Craigs List is always comedy gold. Here's another triumphant winner:

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/cle/628259611.html

ARRRRGGGHHHHH!!!!!

good times...

So... which one of you posted this one? High standards, plus the second picture is sexy.

http://humboldt.craigslist.org/cas/711505345.html

No STD's or HIV and your alright... So he'd be cool with anal prolapse then?

To the Woman who maced me - m4w
Date: 2007-11-10, 8:43PM CST


I saw you jogging around the lake and followed you to Dunn brothers. I was trying to work up my courage to get out of my van and go into Dunn brothers but you were only inside for 30 minutes. As you left the coffee shop I followed you slowly as you walked up the block. I think you got nervous when I hit the garbage cans that some jerk left on the boulevard! I guess I did hop the curb, but still, they were pretty close to the street. Anyways, I watched you start to run and I wanted to explain what happened, you started screaming for help as I tackled you, whats with the screaming anyways? And why do women always scream when I try to talk at them? Anyways, thats when I got a face full of mace...that was three days ago, and I was just released from the jail. I was hoping you could meet me and possibly drop the charges.

* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests


PostingID: 475176589

Not cool BC...I didn't want all of DSF to know that I'm really that awesome at meeting chicks.

Seeking Adult Drunk Clown for 30th Birthday party
 

best of craigslist >chicago > Seeking Adult Drunk Clown for 30th Birthday party
Originally Posted: Tue, 26 Aug 15:22 CDT

Seeking Adult Drunk Clown for 30th Birthday party
Date: 2008-08-26, 3:22PM CDT


We need an Adult Drunk Clown who is good at getting drunk and stupid. No need to do any clown tricks, just hang out and drink a shit load. We will be hopping around to different bars and want a clown to tag a long and drink heavely. He doesn't even need to socialize with anyone, just drink.

the birthday is on Friday, Sept. 5th in Bucktown. Oh, did I mention that the clown needs to get shitfaced. Don't worry, we will purchase all the drinks.

No Job? Never Call? Hate cats and/or dogs? YOU could be next!
Date: 2008-08-19, 10:11PM EDT


Well, since I seem to have a very specific type, I'll just lay it out there. I'm apparently really into the shiftless layabouts. If you are unemployed, unmotivated and possibly still live with your parents... you could be next in my long line of failed relationships! Just think of it... an educated woman to show you how things work (hey, I'm even handy around the house - you won't have to raise a finger!). A woman with drive, ambition and goals to contrast your utter lack of motivation. A girl with a thick skin who can roll with the punches and both dish out AND take jokes... I'll be happy to be the one who doesn't sugar-coat things so that you can blame ME for all of your hurt feelings and failures. It's probably even ALREADY my fault and you haven't even emailed me!


I am completely co-depedant, so you don't have to worry about me booting you to the curb over petty things (like finances, commitment or general civility). In fact, you could probably take my cash, sleep with another girl and then come over and break some things in my house and I'd just clean it up and continue along our path of destruction.



So if you're looking for a lady to use and abuse, I'm your girl! I have a house, a car, a life, friends, pets and my shit together. Please, I need some sort of zeitgeist in my life to screw all of this up! It's been way too long since I've been reminded of how awesome it is to be undervalued.
I'm over on minutes this month, otherwise I'd put my phone number up for you to call right away (either from your parents' landline or collect, from jail). So just email me and maybe we can work something out. Pick you up? Well, yeah, if you need me to! Williamsburg? No problem. It's only about an hour's drive. I don't mind one bit, I've got nothing but time!

i wish she was closer. damn. :(

Its amazing when you think you can fill the void in someones life :)

not sure if that's sad or hilarious

I know I can fill the void in someone's life. I ball like that.

There's GOLD in these here parts!!!
 

Comedic gold, that is. Not from the 'best of' site, these are real and current postings from desperate people in my city. Holy shit I live in a fucked up city. By the way, the first two are the best by far, but the others are still laugh out loud funny.

http://cleveland.craigslist.org/w4m/865558761.html
http://cleveland.craigslist.org/w4m/860441658.html
http://cleveland.craigslist.org/w4m/858313790.html
http://cleveland.craigslist.org/w4m/865032930.html
http://cleveland.craigslist.org/w4m/865161592.html
http://cleveland.craigslist.org/w4m/862566375.html
http://cleveland.craigslist.org/w4m/860441658.html

I'll add more later, but right now I'm laughing so hard my teeth are wiggling.

This one is awesome, I hope he gets away with it.

http://www.king5.com/topstories/stor...e39 30c1.html

Damn. Ballz of steel that guy has. Ballz of steel my friend.

We were buying stamp bags from the same dealer on Mt. Oliver - m4m - 23

Reply to: pers-437960641@craigslist.org Date: 2007-10-02, 12:00PM EDT

You were there first and did you business. You turned to walk away and made eye contact with me while the dude searched me for wires. I saw you get into a beat Pontiac that was red and had rust. I was wearing a Mojo Filter t-shirt and shorts with multiple cigarette burns. Lemme know if you want to kick it some time, I got a safe place on the South Side we can chill at.

Armored truck robber uses Craigslist to make getaway
06:00 PM PDT on Wednesday, October 1, 2008


MONROE, Wash. – In a move that could be right out of a Hollywood movie, a brazen crook apparently used a Craigslist ad to hire a dozen unsuspecting decoys to help him make his getaway following a robbery outside a bank on Tuesday. He then made his escape in an inner tube on the Skykomish River.

The robbery happened about 11 a.m. on an armored truck guard at a Bank of America branch.

"He was wearing a dust mask, a particle mask. At first I thought it might be a surgical mask. I still didn't think anything was wrong, just unusual. Then I noticed he had a pump sprayer," said Mitch Ruth, who had looked out his office window and noticed the man walking into the bank.

The robber sprayed the guard with pepper spray, grabbed a bag of money the guard was carrying and ran about 100 yards to the creek that runs into the Skykomish River, shedding clothes as he ran.

But apparently, the robber had planned ahead. In case anyone was hot on his trail, he had at least a dozen unsuspecting decoys waiting nearby, which he recruited on Craigslist.

"I came across the ad that was for a prevailing wage job for $28.50 an hour," said Mike, who saw a Craigslist ad last week looking for workers for a road maintenance project in Monroe.

He said he inquired and was e-mailed back with instructions to meet near the Bank of America in Monroe at 11 a.m. Tuesday. He also was told to wear certain work clothing.

"Yellow vest, safety goggles, a respirator mask… and, if possible, a blue shirt," he said.

Mike showed up along with about a dozen other men dressed like him, but there was no contractor and no road work to be done. He thought they had been stood up until he heard about the bank robbery and the suspect who wore the same attire.

From there, the crook made his watery escape in a creek that dumps out into the Skykomish River. One witness said the robber swam away, but another said he used an inner tube to get away.

"We did get an inner tube that was about 200 yards from the place where he entered the water and took that for evidence," said Debbie Willis, Monroe Police.

Investigators believe accomplices could have picked the robber up at a nearby boat launch or park.

The FBI is helping Monroe Police trace the ad and want to talk to anyone who responded.

"Any piece of information anyone has could be the piece of the puzzle we need to apprehend the suspects," said Debbie Willis, Monroe Police.

Some Monroe residents, while not endorsing what the robber did, are somewhat amused.

"Creative. Not a right way of doing it, but creative," said Monroe resident Byron Bevard.

"I grew up in LA and I never heard of anything so crazy in my life," said resident Sarah Vazquez.

The suspect is described as a white man in his 20s, between 5-foot-7 and 5-foot-10, wearing a dark blue shirt, jean shorts and a mask.

NEED SARAH PALIN LOOKALIKE ASAP FOR ADULT FILM (LA)
Date: 2008-09-10, 8:20PM PDT

Looking for a Sarah Palin lookalike for an adult film to be shot in next 10 days.

Major adult studio.

Please send pix, stats etc. ASAP

Pay: $2000-3000

No anal required



* Location: LA
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: $2000-3000

PostingID: 836109998

here is one I captured before it was booted from Craigslist...

That was Larry Flynt and the movie is already being made.


http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/news...rry-Flynt.html

some of the script here ... pretty funny

http://www.radaronline.com/exclusive...-film.php#more

gonna be called "Nailin Paylin" i guess ...

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/1..._n_131581.html

I got bored, so I made a personal ad with a fake name and email. Not my best work, but not too shabby, in my opinion. While, as a general rule, it's better to leave sleeping crazies lie, for some reason I'm kind of eager to see how many emails I'll get.

http://cleveland.craigslist.org/cas/871710398.html

well done...but i bet you just get replies from dudes...

good luck with that though

Bwahahaha !! Arby's gift cards ... lol. Good one Kyle !

I just got a message in my fake inbox... "Have you found someone to assist you?" I replied that I haven't yet, asking if she was interested.

This should get real good, real fast.

i'd slam your scabby balls in the door for $50 of Arby's. hell, i'd do it for the "5 for $5" special.

mmmm i could go a big montana right about now

this is why we should get married. i love a girl who knows her Arby's.

arby's is the shit. :D

So far EIGHT MOTHERFUCKING REPLIES!!! Some even sent me pictures, and some even LOOK LIKE MO'NIQUE!!!

Sick world we're livin' in, folks.

so which one are you going to hook up with?

All of them. Not for the whole 'nut slamming for Arby's' thing, but maybe I could mug the stupid bastards for some booze money.... :p

ahahahaha...you have got to post the photos!

Now THAT's fucking funny!

I feel like I've been enlightened towards a great new way to waste away my day at work.

Now that's the DrunkenStepFather spirit! :D

welcome to the dsf forum!!! where pretty much all of us here spend time in here on the mans dime...