Seeking Adult Drunk Clown for 30th Birthday party
 

best of craigslist >chicago > Seeking Adult Drunk Clown for 30th Birthday party
Originally Posted: Tue, 26 Aug 15:22 CDT

Seeking Adult Drunk Clown for 30th Birthday party
Date: 2008-08-26, 3:22PM CDT


We need an Adult Drunk Clown who is good at getting drunk and stupid. No need to do any clown tricks, just hang out and drink a shit load. We will be hopping around to different bars and want a clown to tag a long and drink heavely. He doesn't even need to socialize with anyone, just drink.

the birthday is on Friday, Sept. 5th in Bucktown. Oh, did I mention that the clown needs to get shitfaced. Don't worry, we will purchase all the drinks.

No Job? Never Call? Hate cats and/or dogs? YOU could be next!
Date: 2008-08-19, 10:11PM EDT


Well, since I seem to have a very specific type, I'll just lay it out there. I'm apparently really into the shiftless layabouts. If you are unemployed, unmotivated and possibly still live with your parents... you could be next in my long line of failed relationships! Just think of it... an educated woman to show you how things work (hey, I'm even handy around the house - you won't have to raise a finger!). A woman with drive, ambition and goals to contrast your utter lack of motivation. A girl with a thick skin who can roll with the punches and both dish out AND take jokes... I'll be happy to be the one who doesn't sugar-coat things so that you can blame ME for all of your hurt feelings and failures. It's probably even ALREADY my fault and you haven't even emailed me!


I am completely co-depedant, so you don't have to worry about me booting you to the curb over petty things (like finances, commitment or general civility). In fact, you could probably take my cash, sleep with another girl and then come over and break some things in my house and I'd just clean it up and continue along our path of destruction.



So if you're looking for a lady to use and abuse, I'm your girl! I have a house, a car, a life, friends, pets and my shit together. Please, I need some sort of zeitgeist in my life to screw all of this up! It's been way too long since I've been reminded of how awesome it is to be undervalued.
I'm over on minutes this month, otherwise I'd put my phone number up for you to call right away (either from your parents' landline or collect, from jail). So just email me and maybe we can work something out. Pick you up? Well, yeah, if you need me to! Williamsburg? No problem. It's only about an hour's drive. I don't mind one bit, I've got nothing but time!

i wish she was closer. damn. :(

Its amazing when you think you can fill the void in someones life :)

not sure if that's sad or hilarious

I know I can fill the void in someone's life. I ball like that.

There's GOLD in these here parts!!!
 

Comedic gold, that is. Not from the 'best of' site, these are real and current postings from desperate people in my city. Holy shit I live in a fucked up city. By the way, the first two are the best by far, but the others are still laugh out loud funny.

http://cleveland.craigslist.org/w4m/865558761.html
http://cleveland.craigslist.org/w4m/860441658.html
http://cleveland.craigslist.org/w4m/858313790.html
http://cleveland.craigslist.org/w4m/865032930.html
http://cleveland.craigslist.org/w4m/865161592.html
http://cleveland.craigslist.org/w4m/862566375.html
http://cleveland.craigslist.org/w4m/860441658.html

I'll add more later, but right now I'm laughing so hard my teeth are wiggling.

This one is awesome, I hope he gets away with it.

http://www.king5.com/topstories/stor...e39 30c1.html

Damn. Ballz of steel that guy has. Ballz of steel my friend.

We were buying stamp bags from the same dealer on Mt. Oliver - m4m - 23

Reply to: pers-437960641@craigslist.org Date: 2007-10-02, 12:00PM EDT

You were there first and did you business. You turned to walk away and made eye contact with me while the dude searched me for wires. I saw you get into a beat Pontiac that was red and had rust. I was wearing a Mojo Filter t-shirt and shorts with multiple cigarette burns. Lemme know if you want to kick it some time, I got a safe place on the South Side we can chill at.