Are you a real man? (Or, in the case of the ladies, a tomboy)
 

1) As you grow older, what lost quality of your youthful life do you miss the most?

A. Innocence
B. Idealism
C. Cherry bombs

2) When is it okay to kiss another male?

A. When you wish to display simple and pure affection without regard for narrow-minded social conventions
B. When he is the Pope (Not on the lips)
C. When he's your brother and you're Al Pacino and it's the only fair way to tell him that, for purely business reasons, you're gonna have him whacked

3) In your opinion, the ideal pet is...

A. Small animals, including small dogs
B. A cat or large dog
C. A bird dog or trained hunting falcon

4) In the company of feminists, sex should be referred to as...

A. Lovemaking
B. Screwing
C. Launching The Meat Missile Into Bin Laden's Vag Cave

5) You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared...

A. Your views on what to expect from this relationship
B. Your blood test results
C. Five Tequila Slammers

6) You time your orgasm so that...

A. You climax togeather
B. She climaxes first
C. You don't miss the first pitch of the Indians game

7) Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is...

A. Healthy and creative love-play
B. Nothing your partner would ever agree to
C. Nothing your partner ever needs to know about

8) Foreplay is...

A. The best part of the experience
B. Like the comedian that comes on before a Foo Fighters concert... great, but not why you bought the ticket
C. $100 extra


9) Your girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in weight in the last month. You tell her that it is...

A. No concern of yours
B. No problem, she can come to the gym with you
C. A conservative extimate

10) Your girlfriend asks if her new dress makes her look fat. You reply...

A. "Sorta, I dunno."
B. "Of course not, honey!"
C. "No... your face does."

11) The reason you hold a door open for a woman is to...

A. Show her that chivalry is not dead
B. Show your respect for her as an equal
C. Get a better look at her ass

12) Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at the end of a relationship?

A. "I hope we can still be friends!"
B. "Welcome to dumpsville, bitch! Population: you."
C. "Kyle isn't in right now, but if you'll leave a message after the beep...."

13) A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate...

A. Probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy
B. Is a prude, and a waste of your time
C. Should've known better than to sit next to you on the bus in the first place, dammit

14) One weekday morning your wife wakes up feeling ill and asks you to get your three children ready for school. Your first question is...

A. "Sure, honey, hope you feel better!"
B. "Do they need to eat or anything?"
C. "There are three of the little fuckers?!"

15-A) You have been seeing a woman for several years. She's attractive, intelligent and you always enjoy being with her. One leisurely Sunday afternoon the two of you are relaxing; you're watching a football game, she's reading the papers. Suddenly, out of the blue, she tells you that she loves you and can no longer bear the uncertainty of not knowing where your relationship is heading. She wants to know if you believe that the two of you have a future together. What is your response?

A. "I sincerely believe that the two of us do have a future, but I don't want to rush things."
B. "I love you too, baby, let's get married!"
C. "I can't fucking believe that the Browns tried a running play on 3rd and 17!"

15-B) You've decided that you truly love her and you want to spend the rest of your life with her, sharing whatever joys and sorrows the world offers, whatever they may be. How do you tell her?

A. You take her for a walk on a moonlit beach, stop, say her name, and, when she turns to you with the sea breeze blowing through her hair and the stars in her eyes, you tell her.
B. You take her to a nice restaurant and tell her after dinner.
C. Tell her what now? Sorry, wasn't payin' attention.

16) Have you ever intentionally killed an animal, other than a bug?

A. No
B. Once or twice
C. Shuddup, its hard to aim with you asking me stupid questions like that

So, how do we score ourselves?

Something tells me if I do this quiz I will feel a little less of a man... nonetheless what BC said. Nevermind I see it now.

See the poll. Took me a while to add it, sorry.

Damn n00bs!!

Between a B and C. Down to 1 point.

These are all a little foofoo for me, maybe you could add a D choice.

Best fuck analogy ever!

That's fucking classic! :D

B's and C's almost dead even, for arguments sake I'll just go ahead and call myself a C, so I can sleep tonight.