Anal Sex
 

So what's the big deal with the chocolate highway ?? It must be tighter for the man, but what's in it for the women? Can they get an orgasm from it?

Hershey Highway, and I can never figure it out. Some girls I've known would grab my dick and shove it in, and some won't even let me get near it.

i need advice.

whatever it is, you should probably stop doing it.

Unsolicited Response
 

I never have gotten off on it. All it's given me was cursing the offender for a week or 2 afterward and never talking to them again.

Listen to Snake. :D

My first wife was way into it, but I never liked it. I wore a condom when she could convince me to violate her back porch because I didn't want her shitty bacteria in my dickhole.

The other thing to consider is this: the rectum of a woman is no different physiologically from the rectum of a man, so I guess if you're a closeted homosexual and can find a woman to let you drizzle her chocolate with cream sauce, you're all good.

For me, though, I just don't want someone's coliforms all over my cock or in my dickhole causing infections.

Unsolicited Advice
 

Dear Advice God
My husband is kind, supportive, funny, generous, smart, and loving. However, I feel like I must divorce him. Six years ago, when we were in our early 20s and had just fallen in love, after a night of partying and drinking, he woke me up in the middle of the night and started to have sex with me. I was dozing and still drunk and, yes, I took my panties off myself. But when I realized that it was not OK for him to make advances on me in my state, I pushed him away and ran out. He later felt so bad he wanted to turn himself in for rape. I was very confused and thought at times that I was overreacting and at others that I was raped. We painfully worked through this, but the incident made my husband very reluctant about having sex. This led to an agreement that he shouldn't be afraid of coming close to me in similar situations as long as he asked my consent. This made us feel better and I felt secure again. However, we just found ourselves in a very similar situation. After coming back from a friend’s wine tasting we went to bed and he started to kiss me. I liked it and went along, only to wake up in the morning and remember only half of it. Now I am in the same painful spot I was before and I can’t fathom how he could have ignored our agreement. Should I just drop it or am I right about feeling abused?
Confused



Dear Confused,
Yes there has been horrific abuse. You must divorce your husband and do it now. Divorce him so he can find a woman with a functional sexuality cause you are one fucked up bitch.
From what you have wrote, I think when you drink you lose control, and when you lose control a little dirty whore comes out. But you're ashamed of your little dirty whore and as such you can't accept that you might like being a dirty little whore. So you have come up with this bullshit of making him think he was taking advantage of you. Not only that, you did such a mindfuck on him he's been carrying the blame for it all this time. All the way to the point that you made him so ashamed of having a sex drive he was ready to throw his life in the shitter and go to jail to cover your sexual repression. For the past 6 years this guys been afraid of his no-no tingling unless he comes in the bedroom and you're there with air-traffic wands waving him in.
“This is Penis one three niner requesting permission to land in vagina six two one, over.”
“ Penis one three niner, request denied i have had a glass of wine and may regret it if I enjoy myself too much, over.”
“Roger, I'll just whack off at my computer like every other night of this god forsaken marraige. Request you kill me, over.”

Confused, does a guy who's “supportive, funny, generous, smart, and loving” sound like he's capable of rape? Does a guy who willing to face a jail sentence to cover your hang up and spend six years with his sexuality on a on-off switch depending on whether you give consent the minute he gets near you seem like the kinda guy that would force you to do ANYTHING?

Holy Mary mother of God, cut the guy loose while he's still got a sex drive and go find a nice girlfriend.

^^^Word.

I got the question from the slate web advice column. The advice is 100% Me.