Trucking truisms

Cummins get better fuel mileage than Detroit Diesels
Trucks require farther to stop than regular cars do
Gay truckers always have shifter extensions, that's how they tell
The mason jar under the drivers seat is not for drinking
Truck tires usually have over 100 lbs of tire pressure in them
Swift company truck drivers are considered the worst of the worst but give the best head
Drivers carry no or little cash
Lot lizards can be used for traction in blizzard conditions
You can find the best in pornography in the sleeper area of a semi truck
If you really really really want to fuck with a trucker pull his fifth wheel release when he's stopped
Don't do the pretend "air horn" motion with your arm unless you're a little kid


I'll stop






now.

Bob Whatshisname in action

Nailed it. Mostly true, except for the mason jar. Milk jugs work so much better and make better road bombs. the 5th wheel thing will get you stabbed, I've seent it




!

I blame Convoy for making me do that, or your mom for proposing back at the truck stop. I had to high tail it out of there, she wouldn't take a check for services rendered




!

-If you fit into a milk jug good for you! For me, the Mason jar is more the Big Boy size I require.


She's been ripped off and screwed over by a trucker before. Namely, my dad.




.

It's more about aim. Sorry, she didn't mention your dad, just the troll that lived in her basement, I assumed she meant you



.

Haa-ha, joke's on you! We didn't have a basement, I lived in the breezeway space between the floor of the house and the ground, with the dogs.



.

Meh, whatever you want to call it.

In Florida, you don't have a basement, you have an in-ground swimming pool under your house.





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What the fuck is that? is that a comma? No no no, you don't get to switch it up. I demand you be thrown in jail for this high crime. A fricking comma?